Philly Fanatic in Red Sox Nation

New blogs

2008-01-29T22:06:00.004-05:00

In celebration of the Pedro Feliz signing, a new Phillies blog has been launched here. The Mets picked up a decent pitcher today, but Feliz will impact the Phillies' lineup on a daily basis.

Red Sox bloggings will be made here. Papelbon's offseason slaughtered ducks count (SD) will be disclosed there, when it becomes available.

A Revolution Calling...

2007-11-16T19:16:00.001-05:00

I called out to the two individuals dressed as utility workers standing on either side of my vehicle. "What are you doing?" But it was blatantly obvious. They were New England Revolution fans, celebrating the Revs' advancement to the MLS Cup Final. It seemed that they had decided to include overturning my car in their postgame revelry. However, upon seeing me, they scurried off into the Somervillian night to continue their celebration elsewhere. Perhaps my imposing 5' 11.125" frame had served as a deterrent. Or maybe my Revolution t-shirt identified me as a like-minded soul. I'd like to think both were factors. Either way, I was ecstatic that the Revs had been victorious, and relieved that my car had survived the rowdy, melodious aftermath of the victory.

New England's 1-0 win over the Chicago Fire was the team's third consecutive shutout. MLS Defender of the Year Michael Parkhurst had another standout performance, and goalie Matt Reis had ten saves. The team has not conceded a goal since I got my lucky Revolution Crocs.

The only goal of the game was a brilliant one by Taylor Twellman, which was not surprising as he scores pretty much all of the Revs' playoff goals. The manner in which he scored was rather surprising, however. An incredible bicycle kick between two defenders which beat the poorly-positioned Fire goalkeeper. It was the type of goal you usually only see in great soccer movies, once disbelief has been suspended. Like the one scored by Brazilian great Pele in "Victory." (Goal is 5 min 40 sec into clip.) Or the one set up by American superstar Amanda Bynes in the cinematic masterpiece "She's the Man." Except Twellman's goal was scored in the 38th minute, which made it a bit less climactic than those other two goals.

The Fire bombarded Reis and the Revs for most of the remainder of the game, but were unable to score. Surprisingly, the Fire allowed Costa Rican forward Paulo Wanchope to remain on the field for the entire game, despite the fact that he was about as mobile as your typical corner flag. Another Fire-related question is whether their insignia seems vaguely familiar to anyone besides myself. The Fire will have to content themselves with the fact that forward Cuauhtemoc Blanco's goal in Week 20 was voted the Sierra Mist Goal of the Year, in a Rory Fitzpatrick-esque travesty that calls the whole voting system into question. Michael Parkhurst should have won for his goal from midfield in Week 29.

The Revolution will attempt to win their 1st MLS Championship this Sunday in DC, against the Houston Dynamo. If that matchup sounds familiar, it may be because the same two teams played in last season's MLS Cup. The Dynamo won that one, but the particulars are too obscene to relate on this family-oriented blog. This Sunday, the Revs will be victorious, 1-0, on a Taylor Twellman goal. And Revs defender James Riley will be dancing on a flatbed truck in Boston less than 48 hours later. Boston doesn't lose championship games these days.

Go Green

2007-11-05T10:28:00.000-05:00

(The following post was originally written on recycled paper.)

There were some positives to take from the Eagles' 38-17 trashing at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens was held to only 10 catches, with an average of less than 17.40001 yards/catch. Dallas quarterback Tony Romo's QB rating for the game was less than 141.7001. Eagles punter Sav Rocca had that really good punt that pinned the Cowboys in their own end that one time. Eagles kicker David Akers had a sweet onside kick. There may have been more positives, but I am reticent to read any of the game stories on philly.com. The headlines, which include words like "denial", "decline", and "roadkill", are much too disconcerting. My pain tolerance has already been tested enough.

Instead of the actual game, let's focus on all of the good that was done for the environment last night. Fans inhaled their beer out of cups made from corn, which will biodegrade in 45 days. This is a much longer survival time than the Eagles' playoff chances seem likely to have. The fans recycled those cups less than 46 feet away from the point-of-sale, covering about as much yardage as Eagles' QB Donovan McNabb's average completion. Those fans staggered their departure times from the stadium, based on their own personal pain tolerances. The stadium emptied out in increments, so there was less traffic, and pesky auto emissions were reduced. Most fans watching the game at home had turned off their televisions long before the blowout was over, thus saving additional power. This is no longer the organization that once drafted OT Kevin Allen, a player who's best talent was "standing around killing the grass." (My favorite Buddy Ryan quote.) They are the most environmentally-sound team in the NFL.

Of course, it's possible that the Eagles are about to embark on a miraculous playoff run. Stranger things have happened. (Like trading up to draft Mike Mamula.) Perhaps they can win in Washington. The Dolphins haven't actually won a game yet, so they are beatable. Maybe the same striking TV writers who served as the officials for the Pats-Colts game will be in charge of the Eagles-Pats game on the 25th. I'll be watching, if only to see Sav Rocca finally put one his punts into orbit.

Disclosure

2007-11-02T17:16:00.000-04:00

(The following post is explicit in nature and may not be suitable for young readers. If you are fewer than 18 years of age, please click here.)

A frightening discovery was made today at stately PFiRSN manor. A horror even more disturbing than J.D. Drew's contract terms. While incorporating books from The Great Pile into the bookcases, a copy of CHB's 1996 book "At Fenway" was found on one of the lower shelves of a bookcase located in the East Wing.

PFiRSN would like to assure it's reader(s) that the presence of this book is not an implied endorsement of the author, or of the book's content. The fact that the book is autographed by CHB should not imply that PFiRSN purchased the book and/or asked it's author to sign it. The book was given as a gift, at no cost to this blogger. The approximate value of the book is not in excess of $25, so this possession is not in violation of the Uniform Gifts to Bloggers Act (UGBA).

PFiRSN regrets any appearance of impropriety, and will dispose of the book in a timely manner.
PFiRSN will conduct a thorough, and immediate, inventory of all current possessions to ensure that a similar situation does not arise in the future.

Prediction

2007-11-02T16:54:00.001-04:00

HUGE football game this Sunday. The top two teams in the conference square off. Two outstanding offenses. Two of the top QB's in the NFL. Dominating defenses. Two of the best punters in football.

PREDICTION: It's going to be a close one. 25-20, Eagles.

(Oh, and Patriots 31, Colts 24.)

Schilling pitches

2007-11-01T00:27:00.000-04:00

On the flight home from Colorado, the Red Sox players unwound in different ways. David Ortiz played cards. Kevin Youkilis napped on the floor. Coco Crisp spoke to Jacoby Ellsbury about the wonders of base jumping.

Curt Schilling was more productive, as he caught up on some of his correspondence. PFiRSN's Covert Surveillance operatives were able to obtain some of his messages.

Mark,
I have the real ball. Make me an offer.
Curt Schilling

Kyle,
Congratulations on your successful rookie season. It looks like we'll be teammates next season, and I was wondering if I could have #38. It would mean a lot to me. I believe #25 is currently available.

Thanks,
Curt Schilling

Javier,
Thank you for interest in employment opportunities at 38 Studios. At the present time, there are no open positions that are an appropriate fit for your particular skill set. We will retain your application for three months, and will be in contact with you should a suitable position become available. Good luck with your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Curt Schilling

Dan,
Bygones?

Curt

Champions

2007-10-30T15:18:00.000-04:00

The ducks are probably the biggest winners here. The Red Sox winning the World Series is a Significant Triumph. Those Sox fans prescient enough to take advantage of The Monster Deal are enjoying their free furniture. (No free furniture here. Though there is a previously owned mattress up for grabs next to the dumpster out back.) But, after 4402 of their brethren met their doom at the killing hand of a young closer last winter, the ducks can breathe a little easier this time around. While they still have to be wary of the Peregrine Falcon and the Timlin, Jonathan Robert Papelbon will be a bit too busy for duck hunting this offseason.

Papelbon followed up a postseason of scoreless pitching by dancing through the streets of Boston. 'Twas a beautiful thing. The Winter of Papelbon has just begun, however. Next, he'll be jigging his way through the late night TV circuit. There will be the Guitar Hero endorsements. Papelbon at The White House. The Dancing with the Stars appearance with his ultra-talented dance partner, Amalie Benjamin. The series of children's books. (Think Berenstain Bears meets Harry Potter.) No more shilling Barber Chicken for the inimitable Sox closer. He's hit the big time now!

The rest of the 2007 World Champion Red Sox should be be back, and even better, next season. Curt Schilling will probably be my 2nd favorite Phillies blogger (#1), but both Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz are more than serviceable rotation options. Eric Gagne will be "pitching" in the National League, and Royce Clayton will be a Management Trainee at the Taco Bell on Comm. Ave., but they were forgotten Red Sox long before today. Josh Beckett will be pursuing his second consecutive Cy Young Award, with a fully-acclimated Daisuke Matsuzaka as his main competition. There's no way Mike Lowell and Tim Wakefield play for another team next season. Papi and Manny will be back, Manny armed with a prototype batting helmet that can be remotely ejected by Batshit Tavarez. Pedroia. Edes. Youkilis. Benjamin. Ellsbury. The 2007 season has just ended, but I can't wait to see this team next season. Though they will have a lot more difficulty in the 2008 World Series with the Phillies, than they did with the Rockies.

As a Rule 5 blogger, I anticipate spending the first few months of next season posting for the Pawtucket Red Sox. But a midseason callup is not out of the question. When the Red Sox need a northpaw reliever in the playoffs, I'll be ready to put down my drumsticks and set up for Papelbon. When an HBP is needed to win free tacos for all, I'm your guy. I just hope that the internet connectivity issues that have plagued me this past week don't resurface during next season's Red Sox-Phillies Fall Classic. That matchup will require some prolific blogging in these parts. Plus, without internet, I can't instantaneously determine whether the actor in the movie I'm watching was also the roadie in "Rock Star." Who wants to live like that?

The Sox won't play another game for more than four months, but there are many significant personnel decisions to be made in that time. Papelbon will be omnipresent during the offseason, and the Ellsbury Taco Bell commercials will be as ubiquitous as those damn W.B. Mason ads. If you thought Ellsbury was a great ballplayer, wait until you see him in those Taco Bell ads, co-starring with the Official Scorer who didn't rule "defensive indifference." It will be no time at all before the Sox equipment crew is loading up The Truck, and Julian Tavarez is letting the press know when Manny Ramirez will be reporting to Spring Training.

SOXtober Dream Almost Realized

2007-10-23T19:27:00.000-04:00

"Hold on. I've got somethin' for ya, kid." Jonathan Papelbon had just pitched two scoreless innings to save Game 7, and was wrapping up yet another memorable interview. The Cleveland Indians had been defeated in Game 7, and exiled to their City of Midges and Discarded Rally Towels. (Apparently, Tribe Time is Not Now.)

Jonathan Robert was just getting started. He brought the same determination with which he closed out the game back to the field- for the Game 7 postgame celebration/dance-a-thon! With two playoff series wins under his belt, his Irish jig skills are becoming highly developed. Transformers. A Series win could give the inimitable closer the exposure necessary to take his already considerable dancing abilities to the next level.

Down three games to one in a seven game series, the pundits didn't seem to think much of the Red Sox' chances. Baseball Factory was analyzing the potential late-innings matchup between Indians reliever Rafael Betancourt and Rockies pinch-hitter Seth Smith. Hardball Prospectus was advocating using Ryan Garko in right field, so that Pronk could play first base in the Fall Classic games played in Colorado. Baseball Guru Tim McCarver believed that the only way Boston could win the series against Cleveland would be for the Red Sox to win four games before the Indians did. Transformers. Red Sox fans weren't concerned, however. We know how the story of the 2007 Red Sox will end. With a Papelbon-Beckett Dance-Off, Duck Boats, and free couches for all!

The Sox Heroes were many. Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis blasted homers, triggering appearances by The Blond Cameraperson. (Almost as good as Bernie Brewer in Milwaukee. Almost.) J.D. Drew had a HUGE grand slam, which will, hopefully, enhance his offseason trade value. Julio Lugo worked Cleveland pitching for more than two pitches/at bat, helping sap their strength. Curt Schilling and Daisuke Matsuzaka, after lackluster first starts, pitched well in the elimination games. Transformers. Kyle Snyder was an imposing deterrent when the benches cleared. Eric Serge Gagne managed to only blow a single game. Josh Beckett was Koufaxian, as he joined the former Dodgers southpaw in the Hall of Playoff Greatness. (Conveniently located in Coopertown.) While Koufax's postseason ERA of 0.95 is (currently) lower than Beckett's, no one can match Beckett's interview performances. He is an immensely talented wordsmith, with an incomparable dexterity with metaphors. A post-baseball career as a diplomat seems to be in the cards for Beckett. Unless he throws us a curve and goes into politics.

Terry Francona also did a terrific job. While he probably should have replaced Coco Crisp with Jacoby Ellsbury a little sooner (In May, perhaps?), his decision to pitch Beckett on full rest in Game 5, rather than on short rest in Game 4, was key to the Red Sox' success. The decision looks even better now, with Beckett ready to start Game 1 of the World Series. I thought Beckett should have gone on short rest in Game 4, so he could return for a Game 7. I'm glad Francona disagreed with me, and ignored all those e-mails. I hope we can still be pals, Terry. Also, please stop blocking my e-mails- I need to tell you about my Mike Lowell at SS idea.

Unfortunately, the FOX television crew did not do a terrific job. Which was about as surprising as Kevin Cash being left off the ALCS roster. Buck and McCarver- can't believe we have another four games left with them. Yikes. The attempts at subliminal advertising could also have been bothersome- if I wasn't immune to such tactics, as a result of my superior intellect. The late start times are the worst, however. After the game, and all available postgame shows/interviews have run their course, I only have a few hours to sleep before my 5am wakeup call. (Did anyone else sign up for those daily wakeup calls from Julian Tavarez? I can't believe how cheap they were!) This leaves no time for postgame blogging. By the time I escape my employment responsibilities the next night, it's time for another pre-game show/game. (Well, sometimes I become ensnared by NHL Center Ice. I guess it's not all FOX's fault.)

Beckett goes against Francis in Game 1 Wednesday night at Fenway. The Rockies shouldn't be a problem for The Wordsmith. Transformers. Jacoby Ellsbury will be starting in center, and Kyle Snyder is available if the Rockies try to send a physical message by sending enforcer Ryan Spilborghs into the game. The Rockies may have won 21 of 22, but they are due for a few losses. (Binomial Theorem, people!) In less than a week, the Red Sox will be Champions. All I ask of you is Believe. And get those duck boats ready.

Keep your head on a swivel...

2007-10-17T00:16:00.000-04:00

Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast. On Friday night, the Red Sox were ahead of the Indians one game to none, and were about to win another epic playoff battle. Then Eric Serge Gagne entered the game, got pulled after giving up two baserunners, and his replacements combined to allow seven runs. If Gagne had been permitted to finish the inning, he probably would have only surrendered five or six runs. Bad move, Terry.

After losing Game 3 to Jake Westbrook, thanks, in part, to another desultory performance by Daisuke Matsuzaka, Tim Wakefield was given the start in Game 4. It seemed like Josh Beckett should have been given the ball instead, on three days rest, so he would have two more starts in the series (including Game 7). Especially considering that he is the only reliable starting pitcher that the Sox have right now. But Francona chose to go with Wakefield, who hadn't pitched for seventeen days. Perhaps Wakefield "deserved" the start. Perhaps Beckett is drained from his 215 IP this season, and needed the extra days off. I spent most of the day arguing the merits of Beckett on three days rest to anyone who would listen, and explaining Francona's "sit on my hands" reference to Wakefield's volatility. I just had a bad feeling about Wakefield tonight.

After four innings, I was thrilled to have been totally wrong about Wakefield. Four shutout innings, one hit allowed? Wakefield was ON. At least until the fifth inning. That was a painful mess, in which Wakefield and the Sox bullpen bled out seven runs. Conventional wisdom would imply that permitting seven runs in one inning is less damaging than permitting one run in each of two different innings. But this season that hasn't been the case. Teams scoring seven runs or more in an inning have beaten teams scoring less than seven runs in a game on a regular basis this season. Very surprising, indeed.

The Red Sox countered with three consecutive home runs, the first two off Cleveland starter Paul Byrd, who had another "scintillating" five inning, 3.60 ERA outing. Manny Ramirez hit the third of the blasts, off Cleveland reliever Jensen Lewis, and stood at the plate admiring the ball's flight for quite awhile. (Um, Manny? You're losing 7-3. Get back in the dugout.) The Indians bullpen shut out the Sox the rest of the way, and Boston now must win the next three games, or start their offseason.

Conventional wisdom would state that whenever Tim McCarver prefaces a statement with the words "conventional wisdom", you are about to hear some idiotic nonsense that may cause internal bleeding. The best play that you, as a viewer, can make is to hit the mute button in a timely manner. Unfortunately, I was caught out of position tonight, when McCarver uttered the magic words. He mentioned (again) that a leadoff walk is preferable to a leadoff home run, as the walk has a better chance of triggering a multiple-run inning. (Yes, a baserunner is better than an actual run.) It got even better when he indicated that "this season" the opposite was true. Scoring a run has been better than getting a baserunner this season, for the first time in the history of baseball. Crazy, that. No wonder the Red Sox are losing to the Indians, the games are being played in Bizarro World. (That would also explain "Justin" Pedroia's sudden inability to get hits.)

While trailing 3-1 in games is certainly distressing, this series is not over yet. Beckett could easily outduel Sabathia. Schilling will oppose Carmona and, despite not being on eleven days rest, he could come up with a good outing. Unfortunately, in the winner-take-all Game 7, Matsuzaka (or Lester?) would get the start for the Sox. That would not be good. Of course, if the Sox don't get some production from the invisible 55.6% of their lineup, and some outings by their starting pitcher in excess of four and two/thirds innings, the season will be a memory before we see a seventh game.

Sox Walk Off to 2-0 ALDS Lead

2007-10-06T20:37:00.000-04:00

Julio Lugo lead off the 9th inning with a base hit off Angels reliever Justin Speier. With the score tied at 3, Lugo moved to second on a fielder's choice. This left first base open, and Angels Manager Mike Scioscia with the choice of having his ace closer, Francisco Rodriguez, face either David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez with the game on the line. He chose to walk Ortiz, and pitch to Ramirez. As a Sox fan, I think he made the right decision.

Ramirez DEMOLISHED a Rodriguez offering, sending the ball to Commonwealth Avenue, where it put a dent in a B Line train. Manny stood at the plate a moment to admire his work, raising his arms in jubilation, then proceeded around the bases. The Sox players stormed the field to celebrate. Again. It seems they get to do quite a bit of celebrating these days. Manny didn't have much time for celebration, however, as he had to put on a suit as comfortable as his baggy uniform, and report for media availability. His first walkoff homer as a Red Sox was, apparently, reason enough for the slugger to break his media silence.

The Sox would have lost the game in the middle innings, if their bullpen hadn't risen to the occasion. Starter Daisuke Matsuzaka was mediocre, allowing three runs in his four and two-thirds innings of work. He permitted seven hits and three walks. The bullpen SHUT OUT the Angels the rest of the way, on ZERO (0!) hits. Delcarmen, Okajima, Gagne, and Papelbon were BRILLIANT. (OK, Gagne didn't actually pitch. But he would have been unhittable if he had.)
Papelbon got the last four outs, and the victory. The Angels are at the brink of elimination.

Curt Schilling gets the start for the Sox on Sunday afternoon. He is opposed by Jered Weaver, and whomever else the Angels throw out there to try stave off elimination. But, by 6:30pm Eastern time tomorrow, the Sox will have sent Los Angeles into the offseason. Schilling does not lose postseason games. Except when he has to face the Phillies.

Tribe Time (for) Now!

2007-10-06T15:47:00.000-04:00

Jabba covered in bugs. Jeter confounded by the Canadian soldiers, trying to whomp them with his glove from his defensive position. Rodriguez not whomping any opposing pitching. Abreu's bat spontaneously combusting at home plate. Torre performing intermittent maintenance on his ear canal. An extra-inning walk-off victory by Pronk and the Cleveland Indians over the New York Yankees. Exactly what you'd like to see in a Yankees'playoff game. (Except maybe the Torre part.)

But, as a Red Sox fan, it might actually be time to root for the Yankees. At least for a couple of games. If New York can extend the series to five games, the Indians will need to use Sabathia again. They may even use Carmona again. I'm sure the Red Sox would much rather see Paul Byrd on the mound in Game 1 of the ALCS, than one of the Indians' Cy Young candidates. If the Yankees can drain some of those Indians relievers a bit, in some more long, extra-innings battles, that would be even better.

Shit. What was I thinking there? I can't root for the Yankees. Not even for a single game. The Red Sox can decimate either of those two teams, anyways. Forget Sabathia and Carmona, the Indians could start an in-his-prime Feller, and still not beat the Sox. It's Tribe Time Now! (But only until the ALCS against the Red Sox starts.)

Red Sox Elevate for Postseason

2007-10-04T23:09:00.000-04:00

Did you even think it was possible that Red Sox ace Josh Beckett might give up a run on Wednesday night? No, me neither. Beckett is The Master of the Postseason. The two consecutive playoff shutouts is just the beginning.

Beckett wasn't the only one to raise his game on Wednesday. There were home runs from Ortiz and Youkilis providing the scoring. My cable company came up big, adding TBS HD in time for the MLB playoffs, as well as NHL Center Ice and Versus HD. Well played, RCN! Every bit as impressive as Beckett's performance was that of Boston Globe writer Amalie Benjamin, who excelled in the pregame and postgame shows, and had a perfect blogger rating of 187.6 in the Extra Bases Blog. She became the first blogger in postseason history to pass the 180 barrier.

However, in the presence of such greatness, mediocrity becomes so much more glaring. TBS has a ways to go before they can even claim mediocrity. We're only six games into the playoffs, and TBS is already driving me crazy. In fact, a bulleted list is necessary to review TBS' crimes against baseball fans, and humanity.

FrankTV. It is really necessary to have a FrankTV commercial between every half-inning? That guy is driving me crazy. The probability that I will watch his show is indirectly proportional to the number of promos I must endure. I think I would prefer to watch an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon (in HD!) at this point. I try to escape Frank by changing channels during commercials, but it is to no avail. When I toggle back, he is there. Always. There.
Commercials. I appreciate the fact that TBS wants to jam as many commercials as possible in between innings, but they really need to get back to the action when pitches start getting thrown. There will be time for more FrankTV and Mellencamp commercials later.
Crowd noise. What the shithell's going on here? The crowds at Fenway and CBP are crazy, loud, batshit insane. Yet it doesn't seem that way on the TBS broadcast. Not even close.

The Red Sox and Benjamin will continue to elevate their games on Friday night. Matsuzaka v. Escobar. Matsuzaka has never lost an MLB playoff game. He won't lose one tonight, either. The Red Sox won't face a team playing at their level, until they face Philly in the Series. By that time, we'll be done with TBS, and watching the games on FOX. I never thought I'd be looking forward to FOX baseball broadcasts. Anything that allows baseball fans to escape the clutches of FrankTV is a positive.

Just the Beginning...

2007-09-29T00:26:00.000-04:00

This celebration was a little less restrained than the last one.

Daisuke Matsuzaka was outstanding, allowing only two runs in eight innings. Jonathan Papelbon retired the side in the ninth on only six pitches, for his 37th save. David Ortiz continued his hot streak, going 3 for 4, with his 35th home run. Daniel Malloy was flawless on the Extra Bases Blog. Just about everything went right for the Sox, in their 5-2 win over the visiting Minnesota Twins. Then, things got even better.

The Sox players, and reporters, retreated to the Sox clubhouse to watch the end of the Yankees-Orioles game. A Yankees loss would clinch the AL East for the Red Sox. But, with a 9-6 lead in the 9th inning, and Mariano Rivera in for the save, it looked like the Sox would have to wait another day to clinch the division. As the thousands of fans remaining in Fenway Park watched on the big screen, and Amalie Benjamin attempted to peer around a gajillion Japanese reporters to see the screens in the Sox clubhouse, the Orioles staged an unlikely game-tying rally. After dodging a bullet in the top of the 10th, with Tom Caron and Dennis Eckersley reporting on every batter, the Orioles sent former Sox hero Kevin Millar to the plate with the opportunity to give the Red Sox the AL East. And Millar... struck out. Then Melvin Mora shocked the world with a two-out, game-winning bunt. Cue: Pandemonium!

NESN really should have assigned a camera to follow Papelbon around during the celebration. (Well, at least his celebrations after he covered up his Papelbutt.) The uninhibited closer was spotted running around the field, dancing on the pitcher's mound, wearing an empty Bud Light box, and various other shenanigans. Alex Cora was DJ'ing, as Mike Lowell ran around the perimeter of field, spraying fans with champagne. Mike Timlin and Curt Schilling were on top of the dugout, communing with Red Sox Nation. Tina Cervasio and Kathryn Tappen were drenched in a delightful combination of champagne and Bud Light, as they interviewed everyone in sight. Terry Francona was hugging players, and Mike Timlin pecked Jason Varitek on the cheek, as Varitek was interviewed on NESN. The focused Captain seemed unmoved by Timlin's tender gesture, probably because his thoughts are already on Vladimir Guerrero and the Angels. Conspicuously absent from the interviewees was AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett, but I am fairly certain that I heard him yell, "We did it, motherfuckers!" a few times in the background. It was awesome that the fans were allowed to stay in the ballpark and watch the last hour or so of the Orioles win, and then celebrate with the Sox players. Hopefully, they'll be celebrating the AL pennant that way in early Soxtober.

Without Hope?

2007-09-28T15:58:00.000-04:00

Off the top of my head, I can come up with three reasons that Hope Solo should have started in goal for the U.S. Women in their semifinal match against Brazil on Thursday. First off, Solo had a 298 minute shutout streak. Secondly, backup keeper Briana Scurry had not played since June. Finally, Hope Solo was the keeper chosen to appear in the Nike commercials. (Featuring Dwight Schrute!) Jim Mike doesn't make player selection errors.

In a perfect world, the U.S. would have qualified for the Final against Germany based on the strength of their Nike commercials, and the match would not have been played until U.S. Defender Heather Mitts was ready to return to the starting lineup. But, alas, the world, and the USWNT are both imperfect. While the decision to start Scurry over Solo in the Semifinal was rather horrendous, having Solo in the lineup would likely have changed only the scoreline, and not the result. The Brazilians controlled the game, as the 4-0 score would indicate, and they made the U.S. players seem slow and unskilled.

The first goal was scored by the U.S. into their own goal, as Leslie Osborne tried to use her head to direct a cross over her own end line. Unfortunately, she headed the ball over the part of the endline located between the goalposts. She probably should have chosen a different body part to redirect the ball- her feet, perhaps? Brazil scored again on a shot that Scurry probably should have stopped. Shannon Boxx was shown a red card after a Brazilian player tripped over Boxx' feet from behind, a terrible call that reduced the U.S. to ten players for the rest of the match. U.S. Coach Greg Ryan chose to use his substitutions to bring on defensive players, in what seemed more of an effort to reduce the margin of loss, than an attempt to come from behind. However, he probably would have needed to bring on an Akers and a Foudy to have had a chance at a comeback with only ten players.

As brilliant as Marta was when she appeared on Arrested Development, she's even better as a Brazilian soccer player. Quite possibly the best in the world. Abby Wambach, the best U.S. player, didn't see too much of the ball, as Brazil had possession of it for most of the game. (Well, except for when the U.S. players were retrieving the ball from the inside of their own net.) Wambach was credited with eight "hits" in the match. I'm not really sure what ESPN counts as a "hit", possibly elbows thrown by Wambach? Or Brazilian players barrelled over by the bulky U.S. Forward? Wambach really needed her teammates to get her the ball, so she could make an impact. But it didn't happen.

Hopefully, lessons will be learned from this defeat, and future player selection will infuse some more speed and creativity into the lineup. With Mitts, Wambach, and Heather O'Reilly, the U.S. has the foundation for a good squad. But the rest of the women's soccer world has caught up to them, and they'll need more than a few good players to continue to compete for championships. Of course, if the U.S. had started Nicole Barnhart in goal against Brazil on Thursday, they'd probably be preparing for the Final on Sunday. Instead of the 3rd Place game against Norway.

Sox Clinch Playoff Berth

2007-09-25T00:51:00.000-04:00

Terry Francona raised his glass and shared a calm, dignified toast with his ballclub behind closed doors in Tampa. The Red Sox had become the first MLB team to officially qualify for the postseason on Saturday night, with an 8-6 comeback victory against the Devil Rays. But this was just the first step on the path to AL supremacy.

The Sox trailed 6-5, as the game entered the 9th. The Rays had their closer, Al Reyes in to close out a Tampa win. It looked like the Sox' Magic Number would remain at 1. But Captain Jason Varitek had other ideas. He led off the inning by hitting a game-tying home run, his fifteen of the season. With one out, Eric Hinske doubled, and Julio Lugo followed with a two-run homer, his eighth of the season. Jonathan Papelbon retired the side in order in the bottom of the ninth for his 36th save, and the Sox had an 8-6 win, and a spot in the playoffs. J.D. Drew (2 for 4, 10th homer, 3 RBI) and Eric Gagne (scoreless 8th, 2 K, 4th win) also contributed to the cause. If Drew and Gagne can produce like that in the playoffs, and Ramirez, Youkilis, and Benjamin (all unavailable for the Tampa series) do what they are capable of, the Sox shouldn't have a problem winning the division. And the pennant.

With the Yankees' loss on Monday to the Blue Jays (Thank you, Jesse Litsch!), the Sox are now two games ahead of the Yankees, with six to play. However, the Sox will need to finish with a better record than New York to win the division, as the Yankees won the tiebreaker. (I still think the Sox should have recalled Craig Breslow to compete in the tiebreaker-deciding Scrabble match against the Yankees' Mike Mussina, but Terry and Theo were confident in the abilities of closer Jonathan Papelbon in that discipline.) Boston has a two game series with Oakland, followed by a four game set with Minnesota. If the Sox can take four of the six games, at home, against two teams that are already eliminated from playoff consideration, their next toast will be made as Division Champions.

How do you like the claw?

2007-09-24T17:27:00.000-04:00

Those god-awful uniforms are going to have to stay. Eagles 56, Lions 21. FIFTY-SIX POINTS! These aren't the good ol' crappy-ass Lions we are used to either. They were undefeated until they had to go to Philly. When was the last time you saw such domination on the football field? (Well, probably on Saturday when the U.S. Women's National Human Foosball team defeated Kelly Smith (of the Philadelphia Charge!) and the Brits, but that's not the correct "football.") I don't remember the Eagles scoring more than 50, since that playoff game where they scored 58 against... the Detroit Lions.

I was relegated to following the game on NFL.com, and the updates I was seeing on the screen were somewhat unbelievable. Every time I checked, it seemed that the Eagles had another touchdown. They weren't wasting any time with field goals, incomplete passes, or anything like that. The box score indicated that the Eagles' only difficulty was in determining whether Westbrook or Curtis would be scoring their next TD. As the Eagles continued to score touchdown-after-touchdown in the second quarter, I was convinced I was being punk'd by NFL.com. Like that time when they had the Eagles losing 7-(-2). (I found the Eagles having NEGATIVE points rather disconcerting, but the error was, mercifully, corrected before I took any drastic measures.) Remember 1987, when the players were on strike, and the NFL played three games with replacement players? This first half had that kind of vibe. It was like the third game, when some of the real players had crossed the picket lines to play, with Kevin Curtis starring as Steve Largent. (Ugh. Guido Merkens flashback. I'm going to need a minute.)

McNabb ditched his knee brace, and had a perfect (PERFECT!) passer rating for the game. Perhaps he has a little left in his tank. Westbrook (111 yds. receiving, 110 yds. rushing, 3 TD) and Curtis (221 yds. receiving, 3 TD) were unstoppable, the defense had NINE sacks, The Great Tommy McDonald was running around the field carrying cheerleaders, what more can you want? Well, punter Sav Rocca could improve upon his 43.7 yd. avg., but that's about it. When I spoke to Sav this morning in our weekly performance review (I gave him a B for Sunday.), we spoke about his steps and his follow-through, and may have pinpointed an area of concern. He should be improved next week. Sav also indicated that those vintage uniforms were "better than some of the (Australian Rules) football unis he's worn in the past." I think those uniforms might be growing on me, as well. Those forty-two first half points may be affecting my opinion.

The Eagles face the Giants next Sunday night. Hopefully, the Eagles will put up at least 60.

Beckett Wins 20th, Gagne Dominant

2007-09-21T23:32:00.000-04:00

Finally, we have a Red Sox win. It was only a four game losing streak, but it seemed much, much longer. Josh Beckett struggled a bit in the 1st inning, but escaped with only one run allowed. That was the only run he permitted in the six inning, nine strikeout performance that earned him his 20th win. With a 20-6 record, and a 3.14 ERA, he is certainly a frontrunner for the AL Cy Young Award.

The Sox' offense scored eight runs, but five of the eight came in the last two innings against a reliever with a 5.18 ERA, one with an 8.34 ERA, and one with an ERA of infinity. The first three runs, off Rays ace Scott Kazmir, were assisted by two Rays errors. The Sox struck out seventeen (17!) times in the game, and left ten runners on base. Lineups that feature Bobby Kielty batting fifth, Eric Hinske batting ninth, and Julio Lugo batting anywhere tend to do these things. Hopefully, we won't see too much of Kielty and Hinske in the playoffs.

Eric Gagne pitched a scoreless ninth, retiring the side in order on twelve pitches (nine strikes). Gagne stuck out two of the three batters he faced, and displayed a nasty change-up. He is definitely ready for the 8th inning role in the playoffs now.

Jacoby Ellsbury made the defensive play of the game in left field, with a sliding catch in the Red Sox bullpen. The bullpens in Tampa are conveniently located ON THE FIELD (in foul territory), and Ellsbury was fortunate not to injure himself on any chairs, pirate gear, or relief pitchers. It would have been helpful if the Sox relievers had moved the chairs and/or the treasure chest out of Ellsbury's path. It is quite possible than Manny Ramirez does not make that play. Unless, of course, Manny was positioned in one of the chairs, which would also be quite possible.

The Yankees lost a five hour, fourteen inning game to the Blue Jays, so the Sox' division lead is back up to 2.5 games. Special thanks to Jays catcher Gregg Zaun for hitting the game-winning homer, and to Yankees reliever Brian Bruney (1:1 BB/K ratio) for sucking. The Sox should have their playoff spot clinched by the end of the weekend, if not on Saturday. The division clinching probably won't happen until the middle of next week. By this time next week, the Sox will be preparing to face Escobar, Lackey, and the Anaheim Angels.

Sox Resting Up for Playoffs

2007-09-20T15:28:00.000-04:00

Eric Serge Gagne retired the first two Blue Jay batters in the 8th inning with little difficulty. This was why the Red Sox had acquired him- to protect one-run leads, and setup saves for Jonathan Robert Papelbon. After walking slugger Frank Thomas, it all fell apart. A single, two more walks, and a two-run double followed, and Gagne had cost the Sox yet another victory.

Clay Buchholz fielded the ball, but didn't appear to have a play at any base. However, he decided to make a hurried backhand throw towards third base. The throw went into left field, allowing another run to score. Only a successful Lowell Ball Trick prevented further damage in the frame.

With the tying run on second, and two outs, Julio Lugo got jammed, and fisted the ball towards short. Thinking the Jays' shortstop would make the inning-ending force at second, Lugo failed to run the ball out all the way. The play was made to first, and Lugo was called out on a close play.

What did these plays have in common? They resulted in ferocious streams of expletives from this replacement-level blogger, profanity the likes of which Somerville has rarely seen. But the frustration wasn't simply a result of the game-altering plays.

I thought, and still do think, that the right move was made in bringing in Gagne. That was the situation that Gagne was acquired to handle. That's the situation the Sox need him to succeed in. It didn't work out on Tuesday night, but with a more competent home plate ump than Ed Rapuano, or if J. D. Drew catches that double (which I thought he should have had a play on), we'd be saluting Gagne's performance today. The difference between success and failure is sometimes as thin as the edge of the razor that shorn Gagne's once-unruly hair. But he's going to need more chances to pitch, in order to get the inside of his head under control. A confident Gagne might be the difference between a Sox loss to the Phillies in the World Series and an Angels loss to the Phillies in the World Series.

I'm not too concerned about Clay Buchholz making a rookie error occasionally. But I am concerned about Terry Francona and Theo Epstein making a major error in the deployment of one of their hottest pitchers. If Buchholz has a "hard cap of 155 innings" this season, a number that is rapidly approaching, why did Buchholz get the start on Wednesday night in Toronto? Shouldn't they be saving every possible Buchholz inning for when the would matter the most, in the playoffs? Why not have Batshit or Hansack start the Jays game, and use Buchholz sparingly during the remainder of the regular season? Buchholz is pitching extremely well, at a time when many of the Sox' pitchers are struggling, and he could be a force in the playoffs. Especially when you consider the fact that many of the Sox' likely playoff opponents (Yankees, Indians, Phillies) have never faced the young right-hander. I just hope Buchholz is on the playoff roster, and we don't see him pitch too many more innings before the playoffs start.
Because giving that start to Buchholz might be an indication that the Sox don't plan to include him on the postseason roster.

Julio Lugo? Well, he pretty much pisses me off every time he is in the lineup. (Or in the dugout, or on the roster, or walking around Boston wearing that goddamn pink tie.) The Sox are stuck with him as their starting SS for the rest of the season, so it's best to try to ignore him whenever possible. It is much easier to ignore him when Francona doesn't put his sub-.300 OBP anywhere near the top of the batting order. Hopefully, Theo can make Lugo go away in the offseason.

Right now, the only everyday players who are consistently producing are Gordon Edes and Amalie Benjamin. Without them, the Yankees AND the Tigers would have passed Boston by now. The Sox really need to get Ramirez, Youkilis, and Crisp back into the lineup for the playoffs. But, as for making the playoffs, that is pretty much a done deal. The Sox have a 99.98338% chance of making the postseason, as calculated by Baseball Prospectus. (Which, incidentally, is the same probability that the Papelbon-Beckett team will beat the Zumaya-Verlander team, in the event a NES Duck Hunt Wild Card Tiebreaker is necessary. I bet that dog makes Beckett go batshit!)

The Sox have the day off, as they travel to Tampa to face the Devil Rays. Go ahead and kick back tonight with the latest issue of Sports Weekly, the new Mind's Eye CD on the stereo, and some laid-back, relaxing National League action on the HD TV. Whether the Sox clinch a playoff berth on the field, or in Bud Selig's rec room, it's just a matter of time.

Eagles, Red Sox Lose.LOC Raised from "Green" to "Yellow"

2007-09-18T18:20:00.000-04:00

Monday was not a good day to be a Red Sox/Eagles fan. The Eagles lost 20-12 to the Redskins, and did not look too good in the process. The Red Sox lost 6-1 in Toronto, and looked worse than the Eagles. The losses were disconcerting, but only cause for mild concern. Both teams are preparing for the playoffs, and doing what is necessary to ensure success in the postseason. The results of the last fourteen games of the regular season are much less important than getting things in order for extended playoff runs. (At least that is what I am telling myself, in an effort to avoid becoming disconsolate.)

The Eagles dropped to 0-2 with their MNF loss. They could easily be 2-0, with some better special teams play. That said, they have been pretty bad. Outside of the performances of Brian Westbrook, David Akers, and their outstanding cheerleading squad, there haven't been too many positives. But when I spoke to Punter Sav Rocca this morning to give him his weekly performance review (B grade for the Redskins game, B- this season), he indicated that the team was still "pretty confident." From the offensive play-calling of the first two games, it is obvious that Head Coach Andy Reid doesn't want to reveal too much to possible playoff opponents. He'll still have plenty left up his sleeve for the postseason. The Eagles will go 10-4 the rest of the way, picking up their first win of the season against the Lions next Sunday. I just hope the Eagles don't sustain too many key injuries before the real season starts.

The Red Sox are in the same situation as the Eagles. Just trying to get ready for the playoffs. Their 3.5 game lead over the Yankees is unassailable. (Note: The Yankees' 3.5 game lead over the Detroit Tigers for the Wild Card is in serious jeopardy.) Gordon Edes and Amalie Benjamin fared well Monday night, but the rest of the Sox, not so much. After a draining series against the Yankees, and a 4:30am arrival in Toronto, a bit of a letdown was almost to be expected. The rest of the regular season is about getting Matsuzaka, Okajima, and Gagne back on track, and getting Ramirez and Youkilis back in the lineup. With the way Edes, Ellsbury, Schilling, Benjamin, and Beckett are playing right now, they should be more than sufficient for the Sox to hold on to the division lead.

Sox Division Lead at 4.5, Papelbon's Cellphone Found!

2007-09-17T14:37:00.000-04:00

That was a draining series. For Red Sox players, Red Sox fans, and anyone having to endure the FOX and ESPN broadcasts on consecutive days. (Three hours of Joe Morgan really takes its toll.) On Friday night, the Phillies-Mets and Red Sox-Yankees started their respective battles at the same time. While the Phillies celebrated their ten-inning victory, the Sox and Yanks were still at it. IN THE TOP OF THE SIXTH INNING! The laws of space, time, and baseball don't necessarily apply when the Sox take on the Yanks. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

The Sox only managed to win the second of the three games, though they were only a bullpen meltdown and a little Papi Walk-Off Magic away from a series sweep. But, with the one win, the Sox go into the season's final twelve games with a four and a half game lead over second place New York. Baseball Prospectus gives the Sox a 107.2% chance of making the playoffs, and a 102.3% chance of winning the division. Despite the two losses, things are still looking pretty damn good for Boston.

With the playoffs in mind, the Sox have started to get their playoff rotation in order. Daisuke Matsuzaka will make his next start on Saturday, instead of on his regular fifth day (Wednesday), to slot him in behind 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett. A week ago, I would have questioned that move. But, ever since Matsuzaka was ignominiously released from my eighth-place fantasy baseball team, he has been taking measures to return to his strong early-season form. It's possible that being released, and replaced by the esteemed Yovanni Gallardo, was the wake-up call the Japanese right-hander needed. He now seems more comfortable using all of his pitches, and more comfortable just being himself. After 150 games with the team, he's now relaxed enough to dress the way he used to dress in his days with the Seibu Lions. He's no longer concerned about being as well-dressed as a David Ortiz, or a Manny Delcarmen. He's going to throw quality inning-after-inning the rest of the season, and he's going to dress like Dipsy the Teletubbie when he's not throwing those quality innings. Matsuzaka has found his comfort zone, and the Red Sox will be a better team for it.

Jonathan Robert Papelbon probably hasn't ever had too much difficulty finding his comfort zone. In the eighth inning of Friday night's game, however, he seemed a bit out of sorts. Giving up hits? AND runs? Not very Papelbonian behavior. But, the next day, he indicated that his poor performance was a result of a "mental concern that only happens a few times a year." With his third loss, he is now officially done with this concern for the 2007 season. So, instead of a mere 99.6% chance that he'll convert a save opportunity, that percentage is now an even 100. In other Papelbon news, the invincible closer's missing cellphone was found in the back of a Boston cab. The cab driver who discovered it indicated that it "belonged to a Sox player with a long "P" name." Which raises an obvious question. How could this cabbie not know the name "Papelbon?" Unacceptable. Perhaps he should be sentenced to drive his cab in the Bronx?

The Sox travel to Toronto to face the Blue Jays tonight. The Sox have won 81 of the 110 games between the two clubs this season. Tim Wakefield goes to the mound, as he prepares to be the fourth starter in the playoff rotation. The Boston Globe is also getting their playoff rotation in order, with the Big Three of Edes, Benjamin, and Malloy primed and ready for a long playoff run. With Globe's Big Three and the Sox' Big Four in top form, Boston shouldn't have too much trouble in the postseason. At least until their inevitable World Series encounter with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Papi Walks Off

2007-09-13T00:23:00.000-04:00

If there's one thing the Red Sox have showed us over the last couple of weeks, it's the ability to overcome adversity. By "adversity", I obviously mean "piss-poor starting pitching." Additionally, with Manny Ramirez (annual September vacation), Amalie Benjamin (giving lecture at M.I.T.), and Mike Lowell (intestinal turmoil) all out of the lineup, the Sox had to show some real, um, intestinal fortitude tonight. Especially after Jon Lester dug a Matsuzaka-sized hole in the first inning.

Lester, who had allowed only two runs in his last thirteen innings of work (2 starts, 2 wins), continued the latest Sox tradition- starters being unable to pitch more than four innings. He survived only 3.2 innings, allowing four runs, on eight (!) hits, and four (!) walks. (His outing tonight was obviously part of the plan to fool teams scouting the Sox into thinking he is not good at baseball.) His line could have been worse, but Batshit Crazy stranded the two runners Lester put on in the 4th. The Sox bullpen, as usual, was extremely effective. Five and a third innings, one (!) hit allowed, no runs. Three of those scoreless innings were a Batshit Crazy Production. David Ortiz brought the Sox to within 4-3, with a three-run blast (30th) in the 3rd inning. But the Devil Rays shitacular bullpen managed to shut down the Sox bats, and the score remained 4-3 into the ninth inning.

Jonathan Robert Papelbon (1.52 ERA) pitched the top of the 9th, keeping the Sox deficit at a single run. Al Reyes came on for Tampa in the bottom of the frame with 24 saves in 26 save opportunities. When he was done for the night, he had 24 saves in 27 opportunities. With one on, and one out, the "greatest clutch hitter in history" came to the plate. There was no dispute about David Ortiz' clutch hitting ability tonight. His long fly to right field landed in the first row (31st homer), and the Sox had another incredible walk-off victory. Ortiz was enveloped at home plate by his teammates, with winning pitcher/Jedi Knight J. R. Papelbon leading the way. Papelbon's awestruck expression as the ball left the park, and his reaction (hoisting himself onto the field, with an assist from Coco Crisp), was caught by the NESN cameras. Nicely done, NESN. (Though they should probably have a camera on JP at all times, with JP's antics displayed continuously in the corner of the screen. But that's an argument for another blog post.)

The Sox will ride the momentum of another awe-inspiring win into their series with New York, after Thursday's off day. Hopefully, the Sox will have Benjamin and Lowell back for the series that could knock the Yanks back in the Wild Card race, and the Tigers back in. Unfortunately, the second game is on FOX, and the Sunday night finale is on ESPN, DURING THE PATS-CHARGERS GAME! (Shithell. Why do the schedulemakers do this to me?!) Anyways, I'll be watching the Sox Sunday night, as they go for a three-game sweep over the Yankees. (Hopefully.)

Sox 16, Rays 10

2007-09-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

Ingenious. Tuesday night's 16-10 win over Tampa Bay went exactly according to a brilliant plan. Tim Wakefield used tremendous cunning to allow ten hits and seven runs in three innings. In his last two starts, Wakefield has pitched only 6.2 innings. He has allowed 19 hits and 13 runs in those two starts. In each start, he managed to avoid taxing himself too much, and he fooled the opposition into becoming complacent. The complacent opponents fell prey to the Red Sox offense both times, and potential playoff opponents have been fooled into thinking that Wakefield is not in top form. Those foolish enough to understimate Messrs. Wakefield and Matsuzaka will pay the price in the postseason.

With the Red Sox trailing 8-1, as play entered the bottom of the 4th, it was pretty obvious the Sox would come back. It was just a matter of how badly the Sox wanted to pummel the Rays. Apparently, they wanted to do quite a bit of pummeling. They outscored the Rays 15-2 the rest of the way. The Sox went an amazing 20 for 40 in the game, numbers that are rarely seen outside of Philadelphia. (Note: This statement is a reference to the vaunted Philadelphia Phillies offense, NOT the horrific Phillies pitching and/or their bandbox ballpark.) The Sox connected on four home runs, and eight of the nine starters had at least two hits. (Only catcher Kevin Cash, who belongs in AA, had less than two hits. But his 1 for 4 effort did increase his season average to from an unsightly .100 to a somewhat less unsightly .125. He is 3 for 24, with one extra-base hit, a double.)

It was a remarkable offensive explosion from a team that had been shut out on five hits the previous day. I totally saw it coming. I may have been reading The Hockey News as they began their inevitable comeback, but that was just a sign that I wasn't concerned about the deficit. AT ALL. If teams continue to underestimate the Sox, thinking a seven-run lead is sufficient, or that Wakefield and/or Cash are not good at baseball, those teams will continue to lose. Terry Francona and John Farrell know what they are doing...

Jon Lester goes for the Sox tonight, as they try to win the three-game series from Tampa. I expect another come-from-behind victory that will put the Sox' Baseball Prospectus odds of making the playoffs at over 110%. If we're lucky, we may even see Gagne and Papelbon close out the victory.

Sox Lose, Nancy Joins U-Turn on Drive-By

2007-09-11T00:23:00.000-04:00

Awesome MNF game tonight- another return TD from the Ravens' Ed Reed- ON A PUNT RETURN! A comeback by the Ravens that should have ended with a Boller-Heap TD strike, but instead ended with an INT when the ball bounced off the not-so-sure-handed TE's gut. Come-from-behind wins by the Phillies AND the Tigers (two of my three favorite MLB squads). Strong episodes from Weeds and Californication. It was tough keeping up with everything at once, but I am The King of Multi-Tasking! I've got an HD TV, a clunky desktop computer, a Bachelors in Remote (Control) Sensing, and great anticipation. And, like Jonathan Robert Papelbon, I've got talents that you just can't teach.

I anticipated a better result for the Red Sox, playing at home against woeful Tampa. Even with Devil Rays ace lefty Scott Kazmir getting the start, the Sox still should have won. Especially with Amalie Benjamin starring on the pre-game show, and Nick and CHB nowhere to be found. Curt Schilling pitched well, allowing only one run in six innings, but it was the only run of the game. The Sox' bats gave Curtis Montague a taste of what it would be like for him next year, if he joined the Devil Rays, by failing to score in an anemic five-hit effort. Besides the Sox' strong pitching, the only (non-Amalie) Sox highlight was probably the double play turned by Coco Crisp, Alex Cora, and Kevin Youkilis. With a runner on first, Crisp ranged deep to snare a fly ball, relayed the ball to Cora, who DRILLED it to Youkilis to double off the baserunner. Youkilis wound up almost in the first row from the momentum of Cora's throw. Good stuff. But the Sox couldn't score off Kazmir, Dan Wheeler, or Al Reyes, and went down meekly. The Sox ' lead over the idle Yanks, winners of five in a row, now stands at five games.

With D-Ray Killer Tim Wakefield starting Tuesday night, the Sox' one-game losing streak should come to an end. Only three baseball games I need to monitor Tuesday night. I promise I won't miss the only run of the Sox game flipping channels this time.

Red Sox Continue Quest for World Domination

2007-09-10T17:09:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox are HOT! How hot? Well, every bit as hot as the Three Musketeers Mint Fairy. With another series win in Baltimore the Sox have now lost about three of their previous forty-seven (or so) games. Jonathan Papelbon, currently averaging 1.2 pitches per strikeout, appeared in forty-three of those games, recording thirty-five saves. He has only allowed one hit during the lifetime of starting RF Jacoby Ellsbury. Josh Beckett now has eighteen wins, in what should certainly be a Cy Young season (not bad for a "Texas redneck"-Jonathan Robert's word choice), and rookie Clay Buchholz pitched a no-hitter in his 2nd career start. Yes, the Sox' (sixth? seventh?) starter pitched a no-hitter. Looking at the Sox' current 40-Man Roster, 86.8% of the team players currently receive a "kick-ass motherfucker" rating, or higher. It's simple to quantify the level hotness of the Sox. (See "Fairy, Three Musketeers Mint." See also "Mitts, Heather.") Determining how they managed to win so many games, seeing as how even the best teams in MLB history lose about 40% of the time, is a little more difficult.

In Probability, you can sometimes simplify matters by determining the probability of a complement event, rather than directly computing the probability of the event itself. (If you don't believe me, ask Craig Breslow.) So, when the Sox actually lose games, why do they lose them?

J.D. Drew. Since the All-star break, he has a .248 batting average, one home run, and a .708 OPS. Plus, after he screwed the Phillies when they drafted him, it was mathematically determined that he has no soul. His performance with the Sox has validated that conclusion.
Julian Tavarez. Yes, he needs just "two hours notice and a Red Bull" when asked to be an emergency starter. But one of those guys walking on stilts outside Fenway could produce similar results. Possibly without even requiring the Red Bull. Batshit has a 5.35 ERA since the All-Star break. He had a prime opportunity to bonk Daniel Cabrera on the head the other night with a Red Bull (or any other implement he had concealed on his person), but failed to convert. The Sox have better options for BC's innings.
NESN/The Boston Globe. NESN's over-reliance on W.B Mason commercials and non-Eck pre-game analysts, in combination with the numerous errors scrolling across the bottom of the screen on "The Edge" (spelling "Buchholz" with two "c's" on the night of the no-hitter? Unconscionable.), doesn't help. Don't even get me started on the horrors of "Sox Appeal." (Except for that contestant with the Sox tattoo. She's alright.) The Boston Globe's utilization of Red Sox writers not-named "Gordon" or "Amalie" is similarly unconscionable.

That's pretty much it. A few little tweaks, and the Sox won't be losing three out of every forty-seven games any more. Keep Batshit and Drew off the field, use Gordon and Amalie (with Daniel Malloy covering their days off on the Extra Bases Blog) as the Sox writers/pre-game interviewees, and spell-check all NESN graphics before they make it to the big screen. Simple. The Sox are not that far away from being a 1.000 team. (At least until their inevitable World Series loss to Philadelphia.)

The Sox start yet another series with the sad-sack Tampa Bay Devil Rays (in "NESN-speak", the "Devils Rays") tonight. I'm excited to see Tampa's AAA callups. How bad must those guys be, if they can't make the 25-Man Roster of a .420 team? But don't stay up too late celebrating the Sox win/watching Californication and the late MNF game. The U.S. Women's National Human Foosball Team starts their World Cup run tomorrow at 4:55am against North Korea. If you are not excited about human foosball, with Heather Mitts commentating, you might be tied with J.D. Drew in Soul Count (SC).

Sports of the Foot

2007-09-10T12:59:00.000-04:00

A wild day in the sports of the foot on Sunday. The U.S. Men's National Human Foosball team gave a pretty good account of themselves, in a 4-2 loss to Brazil. With better luck on an own goal, and without a very questionable call by the ref that lead to another goal for the visiting Brazilians, the U.S. could have escaped with a draw. Props to U.S. keeper Tim Howard for responding to a painful finger injury by using his other fingers. If Homer Simpson had drawn the refereeing appointment for this match, the U.S. would have been victorious, and hilarity would surely have ensued.

The Philadelphia Eagles completed their preseason with a 16-13 loss at Lambeau Field to the Packers. Not much hilarity ensuing there. Unless you are a Green Bay fan. (Strangely, NFL.com is counting this as an Eagles loss in the regular season standings. So, until that error is corrected, simply subtract one loss from the Eagles' record.) Obviously, if this was a game that really counted in the standings, the Eagles braintrust would not have experimented as much as the did. Would QB Donovan McNabb play the entire game with weights on each of his limbs? Would randoms like Greg Lewis and J.R. Reed be returning punts? No, certainly not. But, the real punt returners that the Eagles (obviously) have were protected from injury in a meaningless exhibition, and McNabb continues to build up his strength for the games that count. Postseason games. Regular season games. Neither of which occurred yesterday.

When the Eagles start their season, for real, against the Redskins next Monday night, Australian Punter Sav Rocca will make his NFL debut. (NFL.com has Rocca ranked 24th out of 27 NFL punters, after including yesterday's stats. Must be a computer glitch.) When the games count, Rocca will quickly rise to the top of the heap. It's been quite a while since the Eagles had one of the league's top punters. However, some NFL enthusiasts don't exactly hold punters in high regard. Despite my numerous electronic entreaties, most fantasy football leagues don't even include punting stats. (Crazy, that.) But when Rocca leads Philly to a Super Bowl win over New England this season, perhaps philosophies will change. I dream of a day when fantasy football includes a dizzying array of punting statistics. A day when athletes (ATHLETES!) named Rocca and Lechler are drafted ahead of the Tomlinsons and Westbrooks.

I guess I've always been a bit alone in my "kicker love." In neighborhood football games, the majority of the players would mimic quarterbacks with cool nicknames. Such as the Polish Rifle and the Polish Pistol. Or famous names from the Giants, like Simms and Brunner. I was always Tony Franklin. Or Paul McFadden. Or Sean Landeta and David Trout of Philadelphia Stars fame. When we scored a touchdown, I'd start counting off the steps for my PAT attempt, until I was told (again) that "we weren't playing with kicks." As our offense faced 4th and Goal, from the shadows of the trees behind our own goal line, I was reminded that we were playing with "throwing punts." I was met with a similar level of derision when I announced my candidacy for the Patriots' punting job a month ago. Even though I offered to punt, hold for kicks, kickoff, and DJ in the locker room, all at a very salary cap-friendly wage level, I was denied the opportunity for even a tryout. But when the Pats get Rocca'd in the Super Bowl, everything will change. The scoffing will come to an end. I'll be staying in kicking shape if the Patriots want to rethink their plans for next summer's training camp. I'm a much better DJ than that Hanson guy, to boot.

Sox Lose, Division Lead at 5 Games

2007-08-31T14:41:00.000-04:00

Well, at least they got some hits. Two of them, even. After being no-hit through six innings yesterday, the Red Sox had become the first team in forty years to be no-hit for at least the first five innings of consecutive games. Not exactly an impressive accomplishment. But, even after a three-game sweep at the hands of the Yankees, the Sox still have a five game lead, with twenty-eight to play. So, if the Sox go 14-14 the rest of the way, the Yankees would have to go 19-9 just to TIE. You still have to like Boston's chances.

Another reason to like their chances was the performance by Curt Schilling yesterday. He allowed only two runs (on six hits) in seven innings of work. He permitted two solo home runs to Yankees 2B Robinson Cano, but not much else. His velocity could have been better, but his location was good (88 pitches, 57 strikes), and he got results. The 3.48 ERA/1.06 WHIP Schilling we have seen in August will fit quite nicely into the Sox' playoff rotation.

The Sox offense shouldn't bear all the blame for the loss, however. In a bold move, NESN/The Boston Globe flew Amalie Benjamin down to New York for the final game. Obviously, this was done in the hopes of preventing a sweep, and it was a move that had to be made. (It should have been made to START the series, but we've already been over that.) Benjamin's pre-game NESN appearance was a huge positive, but then Nick Cafardo was assigned Extra Bases Blogging duties for the game. IN. EXPLICABLE. The Red Sox are playing .434 ball with Cafardo on the EBB, including a woeful .406 against divisional opponents. Sure, it was preferable to have Benjamin, instead of Cafardo, on the game story, but which game story would you rather read? Benjamin, on a Sox loss, or Cafardo, on a Sox win? (If you chose the first option, you might be a fan of good writing, but you still got the wrong answer.)

Not that I am blameless for the Sox' loss. As per usual, I was watching the Red Sox on NESN, with the Phillies-Mets battle taking place on the desktop computer, next to the TV. Usually, I try to positively influence the results through my own behaviors. Typically, this involves positioning the bobbleheads so that they can best help their respective teams, and then rearranging them, according to game situations. But it also involves positioning myself to best help the teams. It is quite a delicate balance. For example, on Tuesday night, when Phillies 1B Ryan Howard hit a blast that fell just short of a home run, I writhed on the floor in anguish. As I writhed, Jason Varitek hit a game-tying home run. What do you do in that situation? Well, I considered the fact that the Phillies trailed in the divisional race, and got up off the floor. The Phillies went on to win, but the Sox did not. On Thursday, I was just unable to find the correct combination to help both teams. The Phillies bullpen kept on blowing leads when I tried to help the Sox. So, I had to revert back to the conditions that the Phillies were succeeding with, and hope for the best for Boston. If the Phillies had won their game in less than four hours, and Benjamin had been assigned to the EBB, things may have gone differently for the Sox. (Plus, getting more than two hits would also have been helpful.) It's going to get real tricky when the Sox and Phillies face each other in the Series.

Sox Lose First Two in New York

2007-08-30T11:44:00.000-04:00

So. Wednesday. Well, I went to Target, my top #1 favorite retail establishment. Love that place. But, how come every time I go there another customer asks me where something is? Yes, I am aware that I propel myself through the store WITH AUTHORITY, but does my soccer shirt with the big shamrock on it indicate that I'm there to help YOU? Geesh. Ask one of the four store associates shooting the shit in Menswear where to find...Oh. Sports blog. Sorry about that.

OK. Did I ever tell you about that catch I made playing whiffleball when I was eight? I was really more of a kickball kid, but, one bright summer day, we were playing with one of those big red FLINSTONES CLUB-type bats, and I was positioned in CF, two feet behind 2B. Where the scouting reports indicated I should be positioned. The batter SLAMMED a high line drive, and I LEAPT immediately, and grasped the oversized whiffleball between my miniature hands. It may well have been the greatest...Oh. Major sports.

What was up with the Texas Rangers announcers calling the game from the bleachers last night? Section 50, as they mentioned about 50 times. They couldn't even see what was going on half the time. How did that make sense? Was it all a set up so that guy from the baseball glove company could come on, give the announcers baseball gloves, say "You bet!" fifty times, and hype his company that sells "not only gloves, but catcher's equipment, and football helmets!"? Maybe the car-racing segments with the Red Sox have made me cynical...Wait. Red Sox. Guess I should blog about them. Seeing as this is a Red Sox/Phillies blog.

OK. Not very concerned about the Sox after their losses to the Yankees the last two nights. But more than a bit, well, pissed off.

Hate when they lose to the Yankees. Clemens didn't seem to have his good stuff, and the Sox should have been the hell out of him. Damon. Hate when that guy does things to beat the Red Sox. (I do, however, like when that noodle-armed dumbass slides into first base. Idiot!)
Why was Josh Beckett allowed to throw so many pitches? Yes, it was a gutty effort by Joshua. But throwing that many pitches is not a good plan. Plus, the Sox have the greatest bullpen since the Saucier-Reed-McGraw Phillies. Okajima. The Serge Protector. Jonathan Robert Papelbon. Use these guys, Francona!
Why did we have Gordon, Moe, and Curly in the pregame? Edes is good, but it's tough to beat the Yankees with that lineup. After resting Benjamin last week in Tampa Bay, she's well-rested for the New York series. Remember that Bruins coach who ignored the goalie assignments I emailed to him? How's he doing these days? I shouldn't have to tell you that, against the Yankees, Edes-Benjamin-Malloy need to be your Big Three.
How does that truck driver on Sox Appeal NOT pick the second contestant? Geez, that was almost as short-sighted as keeping Beckett in for all those pitches!

This stuff makes me miss my blissful days as a Kickball Prodigy. But the Sox have Schilling going today, and will, hopefully, salvage the last game of the series. Boston still has a good-sized lead (7 games, with a win today), so it's all good. The Boston Globe must have gotten my strongly-worded e-mail last night, because Benjamin was back for the pre-game. But NESN may have muted the beneficial effects of her appearance, by playing that W. B. Mason commercial with the choir right after Amalie's interview. When the W. B. guy pulls out that tambourine, I want to...

OK. I'm, obviously, having some anger management concerns. After the game, I'm going to have to head down to the Dog Park with my Michael Vick cards, and get myself under control. Perhaps I'll bump into Bachelorette #2...

Streaking Bosox Attack Bombers

2007-08-28T18:55:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox' streak was in jeopardy. With two outs in the top of the 9th in Chicago, David Ortiz lofted a fairly routine fly ball to left field. It should have been over, as White Sox LF Josh Fields pursued the final Red Sox out of the game. But then the miraculous happened. The ball dropped, and the Red Sox went on to reach double digits for the 4th consecutive game.

That was about it for suspense in the Red Sox' four-game sweep of the White Sox. Boston destroyed Chicago, outscoring them 46-7 in the four games. It was even more pleasant and relaxing than the three game series in Tampa Bay that had preceded it. And that Tampa series was pretty damn relaxing. With a three game set in NY on tap, the Red Sox are well-positioned to knock the Yankees (currently EIGHT games behind!) out of the divisional race.

Soxian blog posts, in these parts, have been as absent as Douglas Mirabelli in the past week or so. Between MLB Extra Innings and working to be able to keep my chocolate milk reserves sufficient, my vices have seriously cut into my blogging time. A new addiction to Gameday Press Pass, and some inopportune connectivity issues have also combined to reduce my output. A particularly brilliant Sox post, which took amost as long as the Nicole Richie's 82 minute jail term to construct, disappeared into the Blogger Void. Surprising insights gleaned from an interview with a Papelbon bobblehead were lost forever. Or at least until the inevitable "re-imagining."

Many of the components of the Sox' impressive success over the past week have been chronicled throughout the blogosphere. But there are some that have been missed, as well as some that could never be chronicled enough.

Jonathan Papelbon hasn't pitched much recently, but when he has, the results have been Papelbonian. Since July began, he has been averaging 1.58 K/batter. Yes, Paps has been striking out each batter he's faced more than one and a half times per AB. Plus, his Scrabbling and Friendly's Scooping have made him the obvious heir apparent to Dennis Eckersley on NESN. When Paps retires from pitching. In about thirty years.

While there has been some criticism that key players have been rested too often, keeping Amalie Benjamin out of the Tampa Bay series will pay dividends in the stretch run. Her paragraph count is already at a single-season career high, and she has used a lot of words in each of her articles this month. While they might have swept the Devil Rays with her, the right long-term decision was made.

(Nick Cafardo + Jim Rice+ TC)<<< (Eck + TC) Hopefully, that unfortunate NESN postgame combo won't be seen again.

NESN also needs to get some editing action on that scrolling bottom line of theirs. Spelling errors galore, game schedule/pitching matchups often a day behind, the only thing worse is that big graphic they show for games against the "Devils Rays." (OK, that Nick Cafardo thing: also worse.)

Not Jason has pitched well for Texas, and David Murphy's 5 for 7 effort in the 30-3 game was about a week's worth of hits for J. D. Drew. But Eric Serge Gagne is getting his Sox' act together, and The Serge Protector will be a huge factor in the playoffs. "Huge" in a POSITIVE RESULTS way, not just in a bulky physique way. Still like the trade. Pour maintenant.

A lot of Bobby Kielty Love going on right now. He has been a great pickup so far, but don't expect this level of success to be sustained too far into the 2020's. By 2024, he'll probably be a platoon player. His defense has been superb- he's made some catches that I don't really think Wily Mo Pena would have made. Plus Pena would likely have done structural damage to Friendly Fenway in the attempts.

The acquisition of minor-league 1B Chris Carter in the Wily Mo Pena deal might not help the Sox too much on the field, as he is one of the few baseball-playing humans with less ability on defense than WMP. Despite his lack of skill with the glove, the screenwriting and producing aptitudes Carter displayed with the X-Files might be able to save Sox Appeal. Storylines with more aliens would certainly be a step in the right direction.

The Red Sox have their top three starting pitchers primed and ready. Two of three in New York is a definite possibility. But it's not who wins or loses- it's who takes the worse beating that counts.

Youth Movement

2007-08-17T22:54:00.000-04:00

Incredible. Just incredible. Today was a truly memorable day in Massachusetts history. Red Sox SP Clay Buchholz picks up his first major league win. Theo Epstein finds someone willing to trade for Wily Mo Pena. The Jimmy Fund raises in excess of $3.5 million. The memorable moments weren't confined to Boston, as the Walpole Little League squad defeated Hamilton, Ohio in South Williamsport, PA, on a game-winning home run-saving catch by Walpole CF Mike Rando. They weren't even confined to the United States, as we also had Pawtucket C Kevin Cash hurtling through Macdonald-Cartier International Airport in Ottawa, valiantly attempting to get to Boston in time for the second game of the doubleheader. In that second game, the Sox rallied from a deficit with four runs in the bottom of the eight inning, and The Serge Protector closed the door on the Angels in the 9th, completing the doubleheader sweep. (OK, that part about Eric Gagne getting the save in the second game didn't actually happen. But I didn't want to ruin a really positive paragraph.)

The Sox won the first game, 8-4, as Buchholz held the Angels to three earned runs in his six inning stint. Double H allowed eight hits, three walks, and struck out five. Not a bad debut. HH gave up an unearned run in the top of the first, but the Sox supported the 23 yr. old rookie by responding with SIX runs of their own in the bottom of the inning. The lead stood up, with Hideki Okajima (1.2 scoreless innings) and Jonathan Robert Papelbon (1.1 scoreless innings, two strikeouts, 29th save) finishing things off. David Ortiz (2 for 5) and Dustin Pedroia (2 for 5) each homered, and J. D. Drew was 3 for 5, raising his average to .263. Possibly the only negative was an injury to C Doug Mirabelli. Mirabelli was placed on the DL, necessitating the recall (and sprint through Canada) of Pawtucket backstop Kevin Cash. HH, as planned, was sent back to Pawtucket after the game, with OF Jacoby Ellsbury promoted. The Sox also announced the trade of Wily Mo Pena to the Washington Nationals, for a player to be named. (I am hoping it will be Chad Cordero. That way, after Serge is re-signed, the Sox can have THREE closers next season. Not including Okajima, who could close for many teams.)

In the second game, Red Sox starter Josh Beckett pitched extremely well, allowing only one earned run in seven innings. Beckett (3.15 ERA) had eight strikeouts, permitted only five hits and one walk, striking out eight. But the 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner was outdueled by Angels SP Ervin Santana, who surrendered only four hits and a run in six and a third innings. After Sox reliever Manny Delcarmen allowed two runs in the top of the eight, the Sox trailed 4-1. With the Angels' top three relievers (Justin Speier, Scot Shields, and Francisco Rodriguez) all ready for action, it didn't look good for the Sox.

It didn't look good, that is, until the Sox loaded the bases. With David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez coming to the plate. The two sluggers each doubled, giving the Sox a 5-4 lead. As Papelbon had already pitched the first game, Eric Serge Gagne was called on to save the second one. Serge failed to protect the lead, allowing three runs, on three hits, in his inning of work. He couldn't get his changeup over, and had great difficulty locating his fastball. (As a Red Sox, Gagne has a 15.00 ERA, and a 2.83 WHIP. He is making me long for the halcyon days of J.C. Romero and Joel Piniero.) The Sox could not come back in the bottom of the ninth, and fell, 7-5. It was a pretty crushing defeat. (Thanks, Serge.)

Despite the unfortunate loss in the second game, it was still an incredible day. Tom Caron performed brilliantly in a marathon effort, and Amalie Benjamin turned in two spotless performances on NESN, and some strong Extra Bases-blogging. They were overshadowed, however, by the Jimmy Fund Crew. It's amazing that only $3.5 million plus was raised, considering their efforts. There was just one incredible testimonial after another. So many remarkable, courageous stories. Jordan Leandre, a seven-year old patient at the Dana Farber Cancer, sang the National Anthem before the second game. Last time he sang the anthem at Fenway, he was in a wheelchair. This time he was on his feet, and ready to race around the bases after he finished singing. He got a rousing standing ovation as he circled the bases, and was enveloped by members of the 1967 Red Sox team at home plate. (The 1967 team is known for donating a full share of their World Series winnings.)

Lexi Alden, the 11 yr. old cancer survivor last seen kissing all the Sox players in Baltimore, after a very vocal interview with Tina Cervasio, also made an appearance. This time, with Tom Caron and Jim Rice at the NESN table outside Fenway, she was given her own microphone. Not that she needed it, as she was probably heard quite clearly in Baltimore. Awesome. There were just so many courageous guests who shared their stories with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy in the broadcast booth. In summation, if you didn't donate to The Jimmy Fund today, it's quite possible that you have no soul. (But it is not too late for you. Also, check out the website, as there is quite a lot of interesting stuff there.)

The Sox face the Angels in the third game of the series on Saturday night. Curt Schilling (6-5, 4.06) starts for the Sox against Jered Weaver (8-5, 3.85). It will take a lot to top Friday. Like a Schilling no-hitter, perhaps. Or a scoreless inning from The Serge Protector. Both are, probably, equally likely.

A Sweep is in the Air...

2007-08-17T12:14:00.000-04:00

You can just feel that a Sox sweep is on the way today. Clay Buchholz, with the 12K/9IP ratio, makes his debut in the first game. No way he loses his debut. In the second game, 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett gets the start. Even the least couth baseball fan has to admit that the Angels' chances of even escaping today's action with a split are not so good.

That tough series last weekend in Baltimore is all but forgotten, as the Sox rallied to win 2.9 of their 3 games against Tampa this week. (Unfortunately, current MLB rules only recognize 2.0 of those victories, but the Sox' lead over the Yankees is back up to 5.5 games. With help from the Tigers and Orioles.)

As would be expected when a team wins 96.667% of a series, the Sox had a bunch of impressive performances. Tim Wakefield no-hit the Rays through six innings in the first game, leaving after completing eight shutout innings (two hits allowed). Jonathan Robert Papelbon pitched the 9th, picking up his 28th save in the 3-0 victory. Jon Lester, making his first start at Fenway since successfully defeating cancer, pitched seven dominating innings in the second game, allowing only two hits. Red Sox team hypnotists performed well, as Eric Serge Gagne contributed a scoreless ninth inning. Serge picked up the win when the Sox staged an incredible comeback in the bottom of the 9th. Mike Lowell hit a solo blast, and Captain Jason Varitek scored the winning run on a Coco Crisp single. Jason currently ranks second on my list of All-time Favorite Jasons, behind this Jason, who is even more well-known for his leadership skills.

The Sox would have won the third game of the series as well, but the U.S. Military got involved. Devil Rays' starter Andy Sonnanstine entered the game with a 1-8 record and a 6.35 ERA, having lost his last eight decisions. But, after a few "tweaks" by military doctors, followed by an aerial escort to the game, Sonnanstine was an effective pitcher. At least for a day. Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka further buried my fantasy team, allowing six runs in six innings (including eight hits and three walks, which were quite WHIP-damaging). The Sox staged a miraculous comeback from 6-0 to 6-5, including a huge ninth-inning double by Julio Lugo (in a remarkable 11 pitch AB), but fell just short. Tom Caron and Amalie Benjamin performed well in the pregame, Daniel Malloy (up from Lowell for a spot start) did well on the Extra Bases Blog, and Sox Appeal was moved back until AFTER the postgame show. But it was not enough to overcome the large deficit.

Caron, Tina Cervasio, and Benjamin all turned in sterling pregame performances today, and the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial was played twice prior to the first pitch. So you can go ahead and put your money on the Sox in the first game. Or, alternatively, you can send your money to the Jimmy Fund. Also a smart move. Either way, don't miss Double H's first MLB victory today.

Sox lose two of three in Baltimore...

2007-08-12T22:08:00.000-04:00

Four games. After losing two of three in Baltimore, the Red Sox' lead over the MFYs (23-8 in last 31 games) has been whittled down to four games. Not that I'm concerned. The MFYs have a brutal schedule (eight games with Detroit, three with the Angels) coming right up, and the Sox will (hopefully) fatten up on the Devil Rays the next few days. By the time the MFYs come into town for a three game series at the end of the month, the Sox' lead should be back up over eight games. Hopefully. OK. I am a bit concerned. I'd feel a lot better if the Sox' lead was still in double digits, instead of merely hoping it will get up there again.

The weekend could have, should have, gone so much better for the Sox. They easily could have won all three games. Everything was lining up so well for them going into the series. Their top three starting pitchers (Matsuzaka, Beckett, and Schilling) on tap. The home field advantage of Camden Yards. A new Friendly's Scoop (with Kevin Millar!) premiering before the first game. Dennis Eckersley returning to action on NESN, and Amalie Benjamin returning to action on NESN and the Extra Bases Blog. The best bullpen in All of the Land. The Orioles should not have been a problem.

The Sox' Big Three starters did extremely well. Matsuzaka held the Orioles to one measly run in seven innings. Beckett came within one strike of a complete game shutout on Saturday, and allowed only two runs in his 8.2 inning effort Saturday. Schilling permitted only one unearned run in six innings on Sunday (zero walks and zero strikeouts). Top. Notch.

Yet the Sox only managed one win. Who was to blame? Well, certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they shall be held accountable. But if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look at Eric Serge Gagne. On Friday night, he came into the bottom of the eighth to protect a 5-1 lead. By the time the inning had mercifully ended, Hideki Okajima was leaving the mound with the score tied. Gagne had only retired one batter, and was responsible for the four runs that tied the game. The Orioles completed the comeback with a Nick Markakis sacrifice fly off Okajima in the 9th. On Sunday, Gagne was called into the game in the eighth, in relief of Okajima, and allowed a game-tying home run to Miguel Tejeda. The Orioles won in the 10th, on a Kevin Millar three-run walkoff homer.

Gagne finished the series with one inning pitched, five runs allowed, two leads blown. His ERA with Boston is now 15.75, with seven runs allowed in four innings. (Merde.) Perhaps he's not cut out for the 8th inning role. What to do? Well, Gagne is only successful in the 9th inning, and Jonathan Robert Papelbon is successful in all innings that are mathematically conceivable. The solution is obvious. Gagne needs to be hypnotized before each eighth inning performance, so he thinks he is going for the save in the 9th. Perhaps LMontro can help find the hypnotist. L has plenty of contacts.

The Saturday afternoon game, that was magnifique. Well, 99.8% of it, anyway. Josh Beckett was dominating in winning his 15th game. He threw 81 of 115 pitches for strikes, with zero walks allowed (eight strikeouts). He got to within one out of the complete game, before allowing two RBI hits. After Manny Delcarmen came in and issued a walk, Jonathan Papelbon came in for the final out (27th save).

The Saturday matchup would have been a great game to have attended: a ninety degree afternoon with approximately 42,358 (total attendance: 49,242) Red Sox fans filling one of MLBs finest ballparks (Camden Yards), and Beckett the Ace starting. I'm sure I was there, in person, in at least one parallel universe. (Hopefully, not in the first row of the upper deck, though. That was scary shit.) Having to endure that craptacular FOX broadcast, instead, was not so great. Now, it's never an optimal situation when there's a Sox telecast without Eck and Amalie directly involved. But when FOX or ESPN (Joe Morgan!) is on the scene, you just know you're going to need to be proactive with the mute button. There were a couple of gems on Saturday. When it was revealed that "the Sox would concede a run for the double play", and the Sox immediately followed by turning a double play. Which ended the inning, as there had been one out already. (Yikes.) Also, there was the flourish with which the game-ending strikeout by Josh Beckett, completing his complete game shutout, was called. Except that the ball was obviously fouled off, and the Orioles proceeded to score two runs, knocking Beckett from the game. These sorts of mistakes are only OK if Orsillo and RemDawg make them.

The Sox have a three game series at home against the 45-72 Devil Rays this week. The Sox are 5-1 against the Rays, who have the lowest winning percentage in MLB, at .385. (On the plus side, the Rays do have several cartoon heroes on the active roster.) That winning percentage would drop to .375 with a Sox series sweep. The Boston bullpen will have to perform a bit better for that to happen. I'm going to do my part, and help LMontro find that hypnotist.

Red Sox back at home

2007-08-10T19:04:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox only managed to win one of the three games against the Los Angeles Angels contested in the middle of the night. With Tom Caron, Amalie Benjamin, and Dennis Eckersley all out of the lineup for the entire series, the Sox did well to win even one game. Curt Schilling (6 IP, 4 ER) returned to action with a mediocre start, with Tim Wakefield (4 IP, 6 ER) and Jon Lester (3.1 IP, 5 ER) following with much less than mediocre performances. Brandon Moss (1 for 7) was forced into the lineup, even batting cleanup for most of one game after a Manny Ramirez ejection, and Wily Mo Pena (.100 BA in August) got more PT than anyone would like to see. The starting outfield of Pena-Drew-Moss from left to right in the third game was most disconcerting. But the Sox managed to outlast the Angels in that third game, a four hour plus battle that felt like it lasted several days. The Sox bullpen (i.e. the best bullpen EVER!) led the way in the Wednesday night victory, with Mike Timlin, Hideki Okajima, Eric Gagne, and Jonathan Papelbon pitching brilliantly. Which is what they do.

The Sox should do a lot better this weekend. They have the home field fan advantage of Camden Yards in Baltimore. The Orioles have to face Daisuke Matsuzaka, Josh Beckett, and Curt Schilling. Dennis Eckersley and Amalie Benjamin are back in the lineup, and Eric Frede has handled the Tom Caron role ably. As long as Frede remembers to thank Tina AND Amalie after their pregame efforts, and NESN doesn't beat us to death with that W. B. Mason commercial, the Sox have a good shot at a sweep. Well, unless that Bedard guy gets in the way tonight.

Moose on the Loose

2007-08-08T17:56:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox overcame a great deal of adversity this past weekend, in winning two of three games in Seattle. First off, the Mariners are kind of a good team, and have had a lot of home success (nine wins in a row) against Boston in recent years. Secondly, the Red Sox still have Wily Mo Pena on their team. Not good, that. Thirdly, the new Friendly's Scoop was overdue- the Sox are a .500 team in games played with an overdue Scoop. Additionally, NESN had to make the trip west without All-Stars Tom Caron, Dennis Eckersley, and Amalie Benjamin. While Eric Frede and Gordon Edes are more than capable, you just can't replace the kind of numbers Caron, Eckersley, and Benjamin put up. Frede and Edes did enough to help get the Sox out of there with two wins. Well done!

There were some moose-related concerns that need to be addressed. Prior to the bottom of the fifth inning in Sunday's 9-2 Sox victory, the Mariner Moose almost knocked Sox CF Coco Crisp out of the game, with an unprovoked ATV attack. Fortunately, the nimble outfielder was able to dodge out of the way before a career-ending injury was sustained. Strangely, outside of a scathing verbal attack from Red Sox Pitching Coach John Farrell, there wasn't much of a response from Boston. Considering that Josh Beckett and Jonathan Papelbon are both experienced in "handling" such matters, it is surprising that Fenway doesn't have a new addition. Perhaps hanging in front of the entrance to the visitor's clubhouse. (THAT would be rather intimidating.) Hopefully, Wally the Green Monster will have a proportional response at the ready for the Mariners' next visit to Boston.

In other moosian news, NESN aired clips of a Papelbonian Moose Hunting expedition that took place during the offseason. It was certainly a positive that, instead of car racing people, we were treated to Papelbonian content. You just can't lose with any sort of Papelbonian content. (Well, you usually can't lose.)

I'll be the first one to admit I was excited by the prospect of seeing some clips of Papelbon hunting. What's cooler that slaughtering wild animals? I mean, besides slaughtering them with crossbows and whatnot? The poetry and the romance of the kill! It doesn't get much better than that. Well, next time, I think I'd rather watch the car racing people. First off, Papelbon was operating the camera. From his inability to hold the camera steady, it was obvious that he had been holding it for an extended period of time. Apparently, there are no "pitch counts" in hunting. Then, the Jewel of the Boston Red Sox organization crossed over a seemingly bottomless chasm on a rickety, old rope bridge. Yikes! Couldn't we assign someone more, um, expendable, to go across that bridge? (See Pena, Wily Mo.)

Next, there was a chasm in the road, making it unpassable. Unpassable, for those with fewer than 35 saves in 2006, perhaps. Papelbon and Co. just got some big logs, stuck them in the road chasm, and drove right on over it. (Though, not without some difficulty.) That was too much for this viewer, as I couldn't watch any more. If the Red Sox can't put some language in Hunter Boy's contract preventing him from such dangerous undertakings (and this danger was all BEFORE he started trying to kill half-ton wild animals!), they shouldn't televise them. We'd be better off watching the Sox Appeal episode with all the car racing people. MUCH less disconcerting.

Sox Win Two of Three from O's

2007-08-03T20:41:00.000-04:00

Two out of three at home against the Orioles? Not bad. Especially after losing the first game to Bedard, and having to bring Batshit back from the bullpen to make a spot start. A 66-42 record and an unassailable lead over the MFY's? We'll take it!

However, there are a few issues that need to be addressed. Douglas Mirabelli. Three for three with two runs batted in during Wake's Thursday start. You're not quite in Gabor Paul Bako II territory yet with the bat, but those contributions on offense were quite timely. That little prob you had with the tagging up and the (not actually) scoring from third base, we're going to go ahead and overlook that. But chasing after foul pops, with your catcher's mask in hand, that's a bit disconcerting. Can't you chuck that thing out of your way, hand it to the home plate ump, drop kick it into the visitor's dugout, or something? It really bothers us. Perhaps even more than the sub-.400 slugging percentage.

NESN. Wednesday night. Immediately following the game, instead of quality time with Batshit and Terry, we got... Sox Appeal?! What the shithell was that all about? Seriously, couldn't you have broadcast that AFTER the postgame show? Was it necessary to hold us captive like that, as we waited anxiously for Batshit's Pearls O' Wisdom? Sure, many of us were able to escape to the Magical Realm of MLB Extra Innings until the danger was gone, but what of those among us who could not? The MLB Extra Innings-poor? What of them? Were they doomed to watch ESPN on the Bonds Channel? Anyways, over lunch at Bertucci's with TC and KT on Friday, I was assured that such a thing would never be allowed to happen again. But it was rather egregious that it was allowed to happen once. If this (egregiousity?) does occur again, rest assured that the full might of this blog will be wielded against those who have wronged us. Those car-racing people better not come back, either. Our smoting power is without limit.

Eric Gagne made his Soxian debut on Wednesday, and it was a succesful one, as he retired the side in order. (No, we are not counting that bloopy "double" that should have been caught, or the run that scored as a result. Gagne's Soxian ERA is still 0.) But there should be some concern about the paucity of save chances that will be available for Gagne, after Papelbon has had his fill. We need to keep Eric Serge happy. Sure, paying him cash money, in advance, for all the saves he probably would have gotten in Texas was a good start. But we need to create save chances for Gagne, aussi. Unfortunately, the way the roster is currently constructed, there don't seem to be any relievers able to turn a huge lead into a save situation. With the exiles of Messrs. Romero and Piniero to The Land That the DH Forgot, there just isn't anyone to fill this crucial role. Theo has made a huge mistake. Almost as huge as Garrett not picking the hot actuary.

Gagne!

2007-08-01T18:42:00.000-04:00

Quatre-vingt-trois. That's the number new Red Sox setup man Eric Serge Gagne will be wearing. (Parce que Le Schill est trente-huit.) A great acquistion by the Sox. I would have preferred a power bat (Jermaine Dye?) but not at the price of Delcarmen and Masterson for a three month rental. While Not Jason Gabbard did well in Boston, he really wasn't in the Sox' long-term plans. Nor was AAA OF David Murphy. GM Theo Epstein managed to fortify an area that was already a strength without mortgaging the future. Well done, Theo!

As brilliant as the Gagne acquisition was, even more brilliant is the manner in which they will divide up the save opportunities. Determining the night's closer with a pre-game Scrabble match between Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon is yet another masterstroke by Manager Terry Francona. While preliminary plans are for the Scrabble board to be displayed in the bottom corner of the screen during the NESN pre-game show, it likely won't be long before the Scrabble match is broadcast live. The smack talk will be flying between the two competitve relief aces! Also, as per the terms of Gagne's trade to the Sox, half of the matches will be contested in French. That may prove to be a bit difficile for Papelbon, but it should help further increase Soxian coverage among the French-speaking media. The only loser in this whole scenario is Papelbon Clone, who, barring an injury to his Donor, will be relegated to the bench. Which is probably good, considering his performance in Tampa last Saturday.

The game against the Orioles was a bit of a letdown after the success of the afternoon's dealings. The Beckett-Bedard pitcher's duel didn't pan out, as Beckett was largely ineffective. Bedard, on the other hand, was quite effective (despite excessive walkage) in the Orioles' 5-3 win. David Ortiz (3 for 4, all three of the Sox' RBI, three of the Sox' four total hits) hit a pair of home runs, but it wasn't enough. Wily Mo Pena made an acrobatic catch on a ball that probably could have been caught with a little less drama, and the bumbling RF might have had a play on the home run by Orioles 2B Brian Roberts, on Josh Beckett's very first pitch. Unfortunately, Pena was baffled by the curvature of the right field wall, and was unable to doing anything useful. Pena's RF counterpart, Nick Markakis, handled his position a little better, reaching into the stands down the right field line to make an outstanding catch on a foul ball. It was a remarkable play, but the Sox fans in the area probably could have made things a bit more difficult for the Baltimore outfielder. Beckett fell to 13-5 with the loss (3.41 ERA). He was rather restrained afterwards, only damaging one water cooler, and utilizing 74 (5 unique) swears in his post-game press availability.

The Sox face the Orioles again Wednesday night, in what could be Gagne's first appearance in a Red Sox uniform. Unfortunately, as a result of the Gabbard trade, Batshit Tavarez will get the start for Boston. (I'm a little confused as to why Schilling wasn't held out of his Tuesday Pawtucket rehab start, in order to start for the Sox on Wednesday.) While it is quite amusing to watch Batshit's antics, the Sox really need a win tonight. They can't be losing in front of Gagne and the French-speaking media. But if they can keep the game close into the later innings, the Sox' bullpen superiority should lead them to victory. Especially if the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial is played more than that (4 unique swears deleted) Foxwoods commercial. The Sox just don't lose under those circumstances.

Sox Against the Clock

2007-07-31T13:39:00.000-04:00

With only hours remaining until the trade deadline, I'm lounging on the Jermaine Dye Bandwagon, sipping a drink, and waiting for Theo to deliver the bounty. My first reaction to the Dye rumors was one of disinterest- an expensive rental OF with a .235 batting average didn't seem all that appealing. But after admiring his mouth-watering July stats, especially his eight-homer fueled .900 plus OPS, I'm ready to welcome Dye to Boston. Just not if Ellsbury or Masterson or Buchholz is involved. Wily Mo Pena and some A or AA prospect(s) action seems about right, considering Dye would, likely be a Sox for just a few months. As for finding Dye enough ABs, I don't think it would be a problem. Ortiz could be rested extensively, Drew could get more time off, Francona could make it work. It also wouldn't cause any problems in the DH-less World Series games at Citizens Bank Park, because J. D. Drew would certainly have nagging injuries keeping him out of the action in Philly.

The Sox won three of four this weekend against the Devil Rays, but the last two games didn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence. On Saturday, Francona gave Jonathan Papelbon the day off for an impromptu hunting trip. He probably figured they wouldn't have save situation against the woeful D-Rays. When they did need a closer, Francona was forced to bring in the Papelbon Clone. The Clone did some unPapelbonian things, such as allowing hits and runs, in a blown save opportunity that, unfortunately, counts on the actual Papelbon's stats line. That Damn Clone added .009 to Closer Boy's batting average against! Sure, the Sox destroyed the Rays' horrific bullpen in extra innings for the win, but the sullying of Papelbon's pristine statistics was rather troubling. While I have the utmost respect for the contributions made by the Clones to the Red Sox, and to MLB as a whole, it just doesn't seem right that their stats count. Well, at least when those stats hurt the Sox.

As for the Sunday loss, I think I'll have to accept some of the blame for that one. Manny Delcarmen has been remarkably good this season, so I picked him up as an 3rd reliever for one of my fantasy teams on Sunday morning. Fourteen July innings, one earned run allowed, it seemed like a smart pickup. Of course, he gets lit up on Sunday, helping send my team into fourth place. He has since been sent back to the waiver wire. For the good of the Sox.

I only listened to the last few innings of the Sox game on Sunday, as I was on the road. When I tuned in, it was scoreless. You had to like the Sox' chances in a bullpen battle against Tampa. What with the immense suckitude of the Tampa bullpen. Additionally, the Sox have a winning percentage over .700 when I listen to the game while driving. (If gas prices were a bit lower, I'd drive around during all of their games. Earlier in the season, I tried buying gas wholesale, and storing it in tanks behind my fabulous home. But that was short-lived, as the condo association didn't seem too appreciative of my innovative thinking. Obviously, they were not willing to do whatever it takes to support the Sox. Unlike some people.) Delcarmen's unusual badness was too much to overcome.

Sox are at home tonight against the Orioles, with Josh Beckett facing off against Erik Bedard in a superb pitching matchup. Hopefully, Dye (and perhaps Rangers reliever Eric Gagne) will be Red Sox by then.

Ho hum, another Sox win

2007-07-27T23:59:00.000-04:00

You had to know going into the game that the Sox were going to win. Wakefield is undefeated lifetime at Tropicana Field, and has gotten a decision in every start this season. The Devil Ray starter (Hammel) is sub-mediocre, and he's far better than any of those guys in the Tampa bullpen. The D-Ray bullpen had a 10.90 ERA in the last eighteen games going into this one, with a WHIP so obscene that I can't print it on this family blog. And to think that Tampa has a 13-man staff of craptacular crapitude. Yikes.

Of course there were more significant predictors of Soxian success that the above numbers. The new Friendly's Scoop was released today (with Papelbon and Snyder discussing the snappy dressing of Joel Piniero, and Papelbon demonstrating that he didn't know what angle the camera was pointed at), and the Sox never lose on Friendly's Scoop Day. The Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial was played more than the Foxwoods commercial, and also more than that horrific new W.B. Mason commercial. (That new W. B. ad will be giving me nightmares shortly.) Amalie Benjamin was flawless in the pre-game show, speaking on Curt Schilling's rehab (two AAA starts, eight shutout innings, four hits allowed, ten strikeouts), and when he will return to the rotation (likely August 5th or 6th, after one more AAA rehab start, and depending on if they want to give Josh Beckett an extra day of rest). The most significant predictor of all was the fact that the Devil Rays seemed like they'd rather be in the sewers of Manhattan, being pursued by Humanoid Pig Slaves, than be playing at home against the Red Sox. (They probably would have a better chance against the Humanoid Pig Slaves, the HPS's lack mobility, and don't seem to have much of a bullpen either.)

As for the actual game, Wakefield pitched well-six innings, one earned run on six hits and three walks, with seven strikeouts. Manny Delcarmen (two innings) and Kyle Snyder (one inning) shut out Tampa over the final three innings. Devil Ray batters had seven hits and nine strikeouts in the game. Kevin Youkilis had the big blow for the Sox, a three-run homer in the sixth inning. The Rays used three relievers with ERAs over 7.00, including old pal Casey Fossum. Fossum has a 7.71 ERA, with a stratospheric 1.78 WHIP (approaching J. C. Romero territory there) in 72.1 innings. Opposing batters are hitting .339 against him, with a .938 OPS. It's surprising that he has been allowed to pitch so many ineffective innings. Until you look at the rest of the Devil Rays bullpen. Then, it's not actually all that surprising. Hammel did pitch pretty well for Tampa. He left the game without allowing a run, on one hit and two walks in 5.1 innings. But his bullpen allowed two of his runners to score, giving him the L. The Sox actually trailed (1-0) until the sixth inning, but the result never really seemed to be in doubt.

The Sox face the Rays in the second game of the series Saturday night, with Jon Lester making his second start of the season. He is opposed by James Shields, who has pitched very well for the Rays (and my fantasy team) until his last few starts (6.82 ERA in July). He was torched last Sunday by the Yankees (10 ER on 10 H, in 3.1 IP), single-handedly costing me two places in the my league's standings. (Curses!) Saturday, he will be in the dugout on my fantasy bench (I don't typically use pitchers starting against the Sox or Phillies), and will probably in the dugout on the non-fantasy bench after a few innings against the Sox bats. Lester should pick up another W, before he returns to Pawtucket to make room for Curt Schilling later in the week.

The Giant Awakens...

2007-07-27T15:29:00.000-04:00

The slumbering giant has been awakened! Not just the sleepy Red Sox offense, but also that agile outfielder they acquired for that middling guitar player back in the day. (The Day That Will Live In Infamy.) Wily Mo Pena was 2 for 25 (.080 BA) in July before Thursday's action, but raised his July average an astounding .120 with a 4 for 5 performance. Before you say, "Sure, he fattened up his stats against a lefty (Cliff Lee) with an 11.81 post-AS Break ERA, throwing sub-90 MPH fastballs," take a look at the box score. The sprightly Wily Mo did the bulk (all 3 of his XBH) of his damage against relievers with ERAs in the neighborhood of 5.00. Impressive. The Sox need to trade him now- his value will never be higher. Perhaps they can pick up Damaso Marte for him?

Terry Francona is also on the "Trade Pena Now" bandwagon. In the "Roy Rogers' Restaurants Terry's Take with Tina Cervasio", he lauded Pena's ability to hit left-handed pitchers who have minimal baseball ability and a repertoire consisting solely of AA-quality fastballs. (He did not mention that Pena was only in the lineup because J.D. Drew is batting .143 against LHSP's with ERAs under 12.50.) When asked if Wily Mo should be traded while his value was at it's peak, Terry indicated that "no one was untouchable." Pena's skill set is definitely a good fit for the National League. Well, except for that whole fielding thing. But the Pirates can figure that part out. The Buccos wouldn't be where they are today without being masters of innovation.

Wily Mo wasn't the only offensive hero in the Sox' 14-9 win. Manny Ramirez blasted two homers in his 3 for 4 performance. One of his homers carried an estimated 481 feet. That's pretty far. Even LMontro was impressed. And he doesn't impress easily. Cliff Lee was bombed for eight runs (seven earned) on nine hits and three walks. He survived five batters (and zero outs) in the Sox' five-run 5th inning. He left to a chorus of boos, which he responded to by taking his hat off after he left the mound. Because his head was sweaty after giving up all those runs. No hat-tipping to be seen here. He'll take his 3 yr. $14 million contract down to AAA, as he was optioned down after the game.

As you might be able to tell from the score, the Sox' pitching performance could have been better. After the Sox scored five runs in their 23 minute 5th inning, Not Jason Gabbard took the mound with a 9-1 lead. Considering that Not Jason had only allowed one hit (a solo HR) through the first four innings AND he has magical powers over time and space, it seemed like a good time to zip around in the MLB Extra Innings Zone and see what was going on. After watching the Yankees and Royals for awhile (the quality of the Royals broadcast is equivalent to the quality of their team), I flipped back to watch the Sox score some more runs. Unfortunately, at that point, Not Jason was Bonking Pronk with a pitch, reducing the Sox' lead to 9-5. Gabbard got the hook, one out away for qualifying for a victory, and Batshit Tavarez got the call for his first relief appearance this season. Tavarez got out of the inning without further damage, and picked up his 6th win. Batshit did give up four runs in his 2.1 inning, 39 pitch outing, but they were unearned, thanks to a Julio Lugo error. The Sox pitching was bombed for nine runs, on only six hits and four walks, but it was enough to win on this night.

Boston travels to St. Petersburg to play a three game series against the D-Rays this weekend. In tonight's game, RHP Jason Hammel takes his 5.82 ERA this season (10.50 against Boston in his career) to the mound against Sox knuckleballer Tim Wakefield. Wakefield never loses at Tropicana Field (7-0, 2.39 lifetime ERA), and gets a decision every time he starts a game (11-9 in 20 starts this season). Therefore, by the transitive property, the Sox will win.

Settle Down, Jemaine!

2007-07-27T13:22:00.000-04:00

Flight of the Conchords- quite possibly the funniest show ever. EVER! Musical brilliance. Comic brilliance. It's downright Papelbonian (Utleian?* ) in it's overall level of brilliance. It's on Sunday nights on HBO, but I think pretty much every clip is available on YouTube. Check it out here. You could spend hours watching all the clips. Not that I have, or anything. It's just possible that such a thing could occur. I suppose. In theory.

(*Note: This is a reference to pre-Lannan Chase Utley.)

Sox Faustoed

2007-07-26T18:56:00.000-04:00

Josh Beckett was on his game Wednesday night. Eight innings, four hits allowed, one solo HR. The rest of the Sox, not so much. The Sox offense was silenced by Fausto Carmona (Yes, THE Fausto Carmona), and Beckett fell to 13-4 for the season in a 1-0 loss. Carmona improved his record to 13-4 (3.31 ERA), and it appears quite possible that the Sox no longer own him.

A strong pre-game show seemed to point towards success for the Sox, but they were unable to perform at the same high level as Caron, Benjamin, and Cervasio. If the Friendly's Scoop had been updated in a more timely manner, perhaps Beckett would have fourteen wins right now. There were some other factors: a botched hit and run, some questionable umpiring, Coco and Manny both going on their paid break periods (as provided by the Ohio Board of Labor) at the same time, and excessive Foxwoods commercials. But it was the lack of a new Friendly's Scoop that proved too much for the Sox bats to overcome.

It could be a tough one tonight. There is still no new Friendly's Scoop. There were two glaring errors in the pre-game. In the Uno Chicago Grill Red Sox Insider Report, Amalie Benjamin, when speaking about recent Pawtucket pickup OF Brady Clark, gave the wrong date for his DFA'ing by the Dodgers. In the MBTA MLB Notebook, Nick Cafardo mispronounced Phillies LF Pat Burrell's surname. This is a lot to overcome, but with Not Jason, refreshed from his pre-game nap on the mound, the Sox have a chance. And if NESN shows this commercial more times than that damn Foxwoods one, the Indians have no chance.

Sox Silence Tribe

2007-07-25T18:54:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox only managed one run on Tuesday night. But, with their pitching, who needs more than a single run? Daisuke Matsuzaka escaped some early wildness, pitching seven scoreless frames. To agent Scott Boras' delight, Dice-K threw only 98 pitches. To my delight, he provided one of my fantasy baseball teams (the third place Burninating Ostriches) with an ERA/WHIP-reducing W. He's definitely worth every yen. (At least he was Tuesday. His last few starts, not so much.)

Jonathan (Cincho-Ocho) Papelbon struck out two in the 9th, for his 23rd save. But that wasn't the only Papelbonian highlight of the night. The other highlight was his pre-game interview with Tina Cervasio, during which he spoke of his love of PB&J, as well as his quest to kill a moose. (A worthy goal, that.) But my favorite part was, when asked to name the opponent (non-wild animal category) who has the most success against him, he named journeyman OF Frank Catalanotto. This seemed strange, so I ventured over to baseballreference.com to check who had the best lifetime stats against Jonathan Robert. I went down the list of statistical profiles, without looking at who they belonged to, and found one batter with a .556 avg., in nine AB. Sure enough, it was Frank Catalanotto.

The Sox flashed some leather to protect their lead, with Youkilis, Lowell, and Wily Mo Pena all coming up with big plays in the field. 2B Dustin Pedroia, playing at Manny Ramirez-depth in RF (pre-Manny's chat on defensive positioning with Terry Francona), made a nifty play to retire Indians slugger Travis Hafner. I was concerned that the Sox defense would flounder without Batshit Tavarez out there giving direction, but it appears they are doing fine without him. For now. (Small sample size, folk(s).)

While the Sox only scored one run (against Indians ace C. C. Sabathia), their should be no concerns about their offense. Not with Dave Magadan as hitting coach. I saw a clip of Magadan smashing a playoff-winning hit for the Mariners against the Twins the other day, demonstrating the clutch-hitting that he has brought to the Sox. When anyone remembers that particular game, they always remember Griffey Jr's game-saving catch. Or the 12 yr. old managing the Twins. Or the Twins slugger who proposed to the 12 yr. old Manager's Mom after the game. But, for my yen, Magadan was the story of that memorable piece of baseball history.

The Sox send Josh Beckett to the mound tonight, facing the Indians' Fausto Carmona. Carmona has been lights-out this season, but the Sox own him. He probably still has nightmares about the Sox' beatings of him last season. Besides, Tom Caron remembered to thank Tina Cervasio AND Amalie Benjamin after their segment during the pre-game. And the Sox are undefeated in Beckett starts this season, when Caron thanks both Cervasio and Benjamin in the pre-game show. All signs point to the Sox' sixth win in a row.

What's Right with Sports...

2007-07-24T17:44:00.000-04:00

There are some shady dealings going down in the wide world of sports these days. Canine cruelty. Betting allegations. Rod Barajas. Ugly, ugly stuff. The ugliness isn't limited to sports, either. There's people on the streets getting diseases from monkeys! Why can't they leave those poor sick monkeys alone? What's wrong with the world today? Something to think about, indeed.

But this week we have a truly amazing sports story to celebrate. A remarkable triumph of spirit over adversity. (No, not J.D. Durbin and his complete game shutout victory against Jake Peavy and the Padres. We're talking about another "Real Deal" here.) Jonathan Tyler Lester. First, he beats lymphoma. Then he makes his return to the major leagues, and shuts down the Cleveland Indians. Six innings, one run allowed, and his eighth career victory in ten decisions. Just. Incredible.

I'll admit I was a bit concerned about the timing of his return to the Majors. His performance in Pawtucket had been inconsistent, and he had not pitched very well in his most recent AAA appearances. While it was certainly time for Batshit Crazy to be ejected from the starting rotation (0-3, 8.05 ERA, 2.21 WHIP, .402 BA against in July), it seemed possible that Lester was being rushed a bit. Perhaps not. He was extremely poised and got results. Even if Lester goes back to Pawtucket when Curt Schilling comes off the DL, or is packaged in a trade for Teixeira or Rowand, he's given Red Sox Nation another highlight in what has been a season of highlights. Hopefully, there will be many more highlights this season. Both for Jon and the Sox.

Send My Man to San Fran...

2007-07-05T18:45:00.000-04:00

It was worth every second. All of the physical and mental anguish. Almost five days of extreme deprivation. We were united for a cause. And we succeeded. This Tuesday, the world will enjoy the fruits of the labor that we brutally subjected upon ourselves. But we care not for accolades. Our only concern is that justice has been served.

One-hundred and fifty-eight hardy souls gathered in a subterranean bunker in Saugus, Massachusetts. Humans, robots, and monkeys, alike, cloistered underground with the goal of ensuring Boston Red Sox reliever Hideki Okajima's election to the the American League All-Star Team. (And, yes, robots have souls, but that is a story for another blog post.) We were not to be dissuaded by logical arguments, such as "Okajima has pitched less than half as many innings as his (non-Neshek) competitors." Or, "He's a goddamn relief pitcher, for crissakes." As the Red Sox candidate, Okajima would receive our full voting support. Just as Messrs. Damon and Varitek had, in The Time Before The Great Victory.

As we sat for days, casting vote after vote for Okajima and San Diego Padres SP Chris Young (the robots were rather adamant about giving our NL support to Young, for reasons not known. Yet.), we subsisted on a diet of Aquafina and dragon bones. Two large television screens hung from the opposite end of the room. One displayed Red Sox action, both live, and from the Sox' glorious history. Pre- and postgame content, not including any car racing-themed segments, was also available. On the other screen, Escape from New York was played continuously. The collective brilliance of Matsuzaka and Plissken served as additional inspiration, as we increased our voting output into the millions.

The monkeys were the first to succumb to the perilous conditions. In the middle of Day Three, as Snake Plissken battled the Giant in N.Y. Library, and Rich Garces battled the Yankees in Yankee Stadium, the monkeys revolted. They began to beat the computers, and each other, with the dragon bones. It was neccessary that they be forcibly removed, and "sequestered." The robots were unmoved by the simians' demonstration, as they continued to vote unerringly. The behavior of the robots was, perhaps, more disconcerting than that of the monkeys. Someday, the goals of the humans and the robots will be in opposition. I fear that day. I think we all do.

I managed to make it hours into the last day, before the sleep deprivation affected my perception of reality. I had not slept for days, as the steel implements fashioned by Mike Timlin had prevented my eyes from closing. But I fell into a state somewhere between sleep and hallucination, as I continued to Vote Okajima/Young. My visions became increasingly vivid. I saw a Red Sox OF named Jacoby score from second on a wild pitch. A Red Sox SS named Julio reached first base on an actual hit. Not Jason pitched hitless inning after hitless inning. My mind journeyed to the Red Sox' Picnic in the Park where, teamed with Batshit Crazy Tavarez, we defeated David and D'Angelo Ortiz in a fierce badminton match. Next, I won the top auction prize at the Picnic- the opportunity to cover a Red Sox game with the Globe's Gordon Edes and Amalie Benjamin. Suddenly, I sat in the Fenway Park Press Box, with Gordon the Great's Pad O' Stats mere inches my grasp. I reached for it, eager to greedily devour the statistical goodness contained within the nondescript cardboard covers. My insatiable thirst soon to be quenched, I opened to a random page and began to...

It was over. I was jolted into consciousness by the celebratory yells of the other humans. Before we fled out onto the streets of Saugus, to begin proclaiming that Okajima is A#1, and to find a place that served something other than dragon bones, I took once last look at my computer. The screen that I had spent what seemed like eons staring at, stared back at me. One final vote for Okajima awaited entry of the validation code. I typed in 102704 on the ergonomic keyboard, and clicked, sending one last show of support for Okajima into cyberspace.

All-Stars

2007-07-01T23:42:00.000-04:00

Poor Batshit. He only allows two runs (one earned) in five and two/thirds eventful innings, but picks up a loss for his efforts. Then the Baseball All-Star Selection Committee (BASS) leaves Julian and his 5-6 record (4.39 ERA) off the AL All-Star team. A disappointing day for Boston's favorite 5th starter. If only he could finger-point the Sox' offense to success, as he so ably does with the defense.

The Red Sox will score three runs in a single game again. Someday. But I'm not worried. The Sox have only lost one game this month. Besides, they still have the Good 'ol Binomial Theorem in their corner. Their offense is just too good to do this badly for too long. And a long streak of Soxian wins is just around the corner. Well, as long as Julio Lugo is not allowed on the field in any capacity. He might be a fit as a vendor, though. Just not one who has to throw things or anything. Perhaps they should just pay him the $9 mil./yr. to stay home.

The Jacoby Ellsbury Era has begun. Finally. However, I was surprised that he was given the same number worn by Red Sox immortal Dwayne Hosey. Quite the tough act to follow. Strange that they would put extra pressure on Ellsbury like that. The fleet CF is batting only .125 so far, but he won't be batting under .300 in MLB for long. Once he starts facing a steady diet of lackluster NL pitching, as the starting CF for the Philadelphia Phillies, he'll triple his current BA. At least. It is quite apparent that the reason Ellsbury was brought up to the bigs, is to showcase him for a trade. Expect the Sox to send Ellsbury and Manny Delcarmen to Philly for ALL-STAR CF Aaron Rowand before the week is over. You heard it here first. Don't bother heading over to mlbtraderumors.com or anything. Because I gots the good stuff right here.

The Red Sox were well-represented on the All-Star squad. Beckett. Lowell. Ramirez. Ortiz. Jon Papelbon. JON Papelbon. Not really sure when he stopped going by "Jonathan." Whatever. I just hope if the AL has a save opportunity, they give Jon the ball. And not J. Putz, Bob Jenks, or Frank Rodriguez. The AL team looks pretty good. They could probably use a not-actually-Greek 1B/3B with a .924 OPS, but not bad otherwise.

Hideki Okajima is on the AL Final Vote ballot, going against the likes of Jeremy Bonderman, Kelvin Escobar, and Roy Halladay. And Pat Neshek. I love that Pat Neshek is on the ballot. It is good to see his sensational season hasn't only been noticed by incredibly brilliant fantasy baseball players. (No need to name any of these brilliant fantasy baseball players. One of whom, incidentally, is in 3rd place now, but will be in 1st place shortly.) Neshek and Okajima's brilliance aside, I wonder if one of the SPs would be a better choice, considering that they have pitched quite a few more innings than Okajima and Neshek have. Just trying to be objective here. That said, I'm going to sign up for some more e-mail addresses, so I can get some more votes in for Okajima. Go Sox!

Commercial Interruptions

2007-06-29T23:18:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox finally won again tonight, 2-1 at home over the Texas Rangers. After that forgettable sweep in Seattle, the Sox need to gorge themselves on Texas' woebegone pitching staff, and increase their AL East lead. There wasn't much gorging by the Sox' forgettable offense (2 runs scored or less in 9 of last 17 games) tonight, but the two markers they did scrape up proved sufficient. Barely.

The performances turned in by the Sox' pitching staff tonight were anything but forgettable. Red Sox SP Tim Wakefield permitted only one earned run in six and two-thirds innings, and Manny Delcarmen and Hideki Okajima combined to prevent Texas from scoring further in the 7th and 8th innings. Jonathan Papelbon (0.00 ERA, 21 of 22 batters retired in games since I acquired his bobblehead) came in to secure the victory. Throwing mid-90s heat, he retired the first two Rangers batters without difficulty. Then he put an exclamation point on the win, by outracing the timelessly-speedy Kenny Lofton to 1st base for the game-ending putout.

Well, it would have been a swell exclamation point, if Lofton hadn't been called safe on the play. It was a close call, but Jonathan Robert Papelbon was rather convinced that the wrong verdict was rendered. He proceeded to make his opinion known both immediately and vociferously, as he violently entered 1st Base Umpire Mike Reilly's personal space. No expertise in lip-reading was necessary to realize that the enraged bullpenner was not using words he learned from his Official Scrabble Dictionary. Fortunately, Red Sox 2B Dustin Pedroia pulled Papelbon away from the scene of the alleged crime before there were any ejections. Or casualties. Papelbon plunked the next batter, but then whiffed slugging SS Michael Young (with 600 HR-man Sammy Sosa on deck) for the final out, securing his 19th save. The Sox had overcome Mr. Reilly's crime against Red Sox Nation.

The questionable umpiring in the 9th inning wasn't the only crime perpetuated against Red Sox Nation tonight, however. A much more disconcerting crime was the atrocity of a pre-game show. Usually, the Red Sox pre-game show on NESN is excellent. With knowledgeable insights from Eck, Edes, and Benjamin, and (usually) humorous shenanigans from Messrs. Remy and Orsillo, the pre-game is well worth watching.

Not tonight, however. Perhaps it is partially my fault. I have absolutely zero interest in car racing. On my list of television-viewing preferences, car racing would fall somewhere below watching CHB watch himself on TV. (Note: Papelbon on a duck hunt with Timlin is on the top of the list.) Then again, perhaps it is reasonable to expect the pre-game show for a Red Sox baseball game to feature content that is, at least primarily, baseball-related. Tonight's pre-game show was all about the car racing, however. Jerry Remy riding in some kind of race car. Different race car people being interviewed about different race car topics. Pretty much the only oasis of baseball content was 3rd-string Globie Neil Cafardo's report. After awhile, I was hoping for some Foxwoods commercials. Quite possibly the only thing that could have saved the pre-game show would have been if they had spent the last ten minutes televising the Papelbon-Tavarez-Matsuzaka Boggle Competition. But they didn't. They opted to show a race car driving around the hallowed ground of Fenway. Thankfully, 7pm finally came, and it was time for some baseball.

Baseball, preceded by more car racing people, that is. There was some kind of presentation with Don Orsillo saluting the car racing people and/or the Red Sox for their strategic partnership or whatever with the car racing people and/or the fact that the car driving on the field had some Red Sox logos on it. The crowd at Fenway looked like it shared my level of interest in the proceedings. Also troubling was the big car-racing banner draped over The Monster. The same wall that has oft-displayed the American Flag, as well as many a tribute to baseball memories and successes long past, was now covered in one, big commercial announcement. Almost blasphemous, that. Then some car-racing people were paraded out to throw out the first (three) pitch(es). Their uninspiring efforts paralleled that of the preceding presentation. But, finally, it was time for baseball.

At least until the 2nd inning, when one of the car racing people resurfaced in the broadcast booth. As play continued on the field, car racing topics were discussed. The game on the field was largely ignored. The car racing guy mentioned that he tried to throw the ball as hard as he could to Varitek on his first pitch. Brilliant. Varitek was neither wearing a mask, nor any equipment. The first pitch is not typically delivered at high velocity. It is fortunate that the Sox catcher did not get injured in any way. Fortunate because Sox fans would have to, likely, endure a duo of Mirabelli and Kottaras during any prolonged Varitek absence. Fortunate because the car racing guy would not have left the infield alive if he had beaned 'Tek. Even worse, the inevitable dismemberment would, likely, have delayed the baseball further. Next time Lugo and Clement need to be utilized for first pitch-catching duties.

Hopefully, there won't be any pre-game car racing shenanigans on Saturday. Unless it involves Dustin Pedroia and D'Angelo Ortiz on Big Wheels. That would be fine.

Craphead

2007-06-27T21:59:00.000-04:00

Yikes. That series in Seattle was not a fun time. (For Sox fans, at least. The Mariners' fans seemed rather pleased.) Three games, three Sox losses. When did the Mariners start being good anyways? They are nine games above .500 (42-33) these days, but besides Ichiro, Johjima, and Putz, who do they have? Apparently, they have a bunch of anonymous relievers with sparkling ERAs (though a bit on the WHIPpy side), and eight (!) players with at least twenty-eight RBIs. Nice. Their bullpen has lead them to a 3-0 record in extra innings, and a 13-9 record in one-run games. Yep, the Mariners have become good. But the Sox still should have been able to take at least one of the games in Seattle. (Note: Seattle is 24-15 at home, and 18-18 on the road. Very impressive.) Boston needs to do a lot better if these teams meet again in the first round of the playoffs. At least they aren't likely to be starting Batshit and Not Jason in the playoffs. Hopefully.

It has been a draining couple of weeks for this recently-infrequent blogger. Much working. Not much sleeping. Probably a similar schedule to Gordon Edes, actually. Except I don't have the magical properties of his Pad O' Stats to rely on. Curses. I might also be going through a "dead arm period", but I am not sure, as I have never actually worn a uniform. Perhaps I could take a page from the Baseball Desert playbook, and take a pre-game nap before the Sox' 10pm starts, but that would require missing exciting Phillies action. Besides, it's best to diversify, and have multiple favorite teams. (I learned the diversification lesson when I sunk my first million into Chris James rookie cards.) So, I do my best to stay awake until 1:30am watching the Sox, fueled by Aquafina and peanut M&Ms, and then get myself out of bed at 5am or so. Unfortunately, not unlike Julio Lugo, my best has not been good enough. Not by a long shot. I have missed many ABs due to intermittent napping, only to be jolted into consciousness by random low-flying airplanes, train horns, and rapping announcers. I consider myself fortunate that I have not been designated for assignment. Yet. (If J. C. Romero had been able to keep his WHIP under 1.9, Red Sox Nation may have cut ties with me first.) Fortunately, the Sox don't have another 10pm start time until August 3rd.

Boston really should have come up with the win on Wednesday. Monday night, with Batshit getting bombed (What was he doing throwing, instead of rolling, the ball to 1st base? Poor fundamentals!) and Tuesday night, when Not Jason seemed determined to walk as many opposing batters as possible in the time allotted, just didn't go well. But Wednesday did, at least pitching-wise. Matsuzaka was brilliant- eight innings, three hits, one earned run, one walk, eight K's- but wound up with a no decision. Benjamin turned in a strong effort on the Extra Bases Blog with frequent updates and subtle humor, though her use of the wrong form of the word "flare" cost Boston a run. I did not see CHB on the pre-game, which was also promising, as his appearance typically sends me into convulsions. (Somerville Hospital does NOT get NESN HD.) It is almost disconcerting having two such disparate entitities both writing for the Globe. Amalie, the Champion of all that is Righteous and Good. And CHB, who is well, not so much with the good. (Though, I must admit, every time Amalie writes a one sentence paragraph, I'm pretty sure an angel loses its' wings.)

But, most incredible of all, was The Great Papelbon. He entered the game in the 9th inning, with the potential winning Seattle run on 3rd, and only one out. He left the game after the 10th, having fiercely overpowered all five batters he faced. Two strikeouts. Fourteen of seventeen pitches thrown for strikes. Those 4402 offseason ducks stood a better chance than those five Seattle batters. Pure ferocity. Papelbon has a 0.93 ERA in June, with a delightfully miniscule WHIP of .41. But that's just part of the story. Since I acquired a Limited Edition Jonathan Papelbon BIG Bobblehead, he has appeared in six games. In those six games, he has not been scored upon. Six and two/thirds innings, two hits allowed, ZERO walks allowed, EIGHT strikeouts. That's a 10.79 K/9 ratio, for those without a conveniently located calculator. Needless to say, I have already ordered my Lugo bobblehead. (It may be our pink-tie wearing SS's only hope. Well, that or vitaminwater.)

Unfortunately, Joel Pineiro was summoned from the bullpen, dragging a balky ankle and a 4.80 ERA in for the bottom of the 11th inning. One out later, his ERA was 5.04, and the Mariners had piled onto the field to celebrate their walk-off victory. Craphead.

The Sox return home this weekend to face Texas (they play those Texas dudes A LOT!) in a three-win series. (Yep. Three WIN!) They still boast the best record in the league, but the LA Angels have pulled to within .003. It's time to increase that margin, folks.

A Pleasant Shade of Gray

2007-06-14T18:52:00.000-04:00

The skies were gray and overcast as I took a random walk through historic Somerville today. As I listened to the melodic metal stylings of Austria's Serenity, I pondered a matter of great importance. The matter, of course, being the Red Sox and their recent slumpy ways. What was once a twelve-game divisional lead has been reduced to a mere eight games by the streaking New York Yankees. With a challenging schedule awaiting the Sox in the near future, the mood of Red Sox Nation has become almost as gloomy as the foreboding sky. Would the Sox continue to flounder, perhaps even enough to allow the Yankees back into the divisional race? As I calculated that possibility in my head, I came to the obvious conclusion. No. Fucking. Way.

While I consider this conclusion to be unassailable, I would not present it to you, my reader(s), without some substantiation. The exculpation for the conclusion of inevitable Red Sox Superiority is mathematical, as well as, intangible in nature. While I am somewhat limited in my ability to explain the mathematics, due to proprietary concerns, the formulae (and their corresponding derivations) are available from Philly Fanatic, Inc. for a nominal fee.

It is not unusual for a team with a .650+ winning percentage to have periods with a winning percentage of less than .400, particularly over a long season. The Binomial Theorem tells us this. Considering the Binomial Theorem, in conjunction with the Central Limit Theorem, it is possible to determine the likely winning percentage of the Red Sox in 162 trials. (The proof of this is rather rigorous, and the keyboard I currently have at my disposal will not allow me to use the eight Greek letters necessary to provide a satisfactory explanation. However, I will be presenting on this topic in Stratham, NH in two weeks time, if anyone is interested in attending. For a nominal fee, of course.) I have had my calculations verified at The Math Shack, conveniently located in Somerville, MA, and will now reveal the 2007 Red Sox final regular season winning percentage. The Red Sox will finish with a .679 winning percentage, or 110 wins. The Yankees will finish with a .537 winning percentage, or 87 wins.

Not content with the above, I also statistically simulated the remainder of the MLB regular season. After a gajillion Monte Carlo simulations, the Red Sox had won the AL East 98.1% of the time. Once again, I can't really get into the mathematics behind this (unless you send a nominal fee my way. Sorry, no personal checks.) But, suffice it to say, the Red Sox are a near certainty to be AL East champs. (For a similar, but less rigorous analysis, click here. In this simulation, the Sox won the division only 91.078% of the time. Obviously, their math is a wee bit haywire, and they would be well-served to have The Math Shack check their figures.)

In addition to the mathematics, there is also a huge intangible reason that the Sox will win the division. The Influence and Power of the Triumvirate of Media Greatness. There is just no way the Sox lose the division lead with Caron, Benjamin, and Eckersley on the scene. In fact, even if the numbers didn't support the Sox, Eck would just kick the numbers' collective ass. So, no, I am not worried about the Red Sox.

Well, unless the Sox do something batshit and totally unpredictable. Like moving J.D. Drew to the leadoff spot, and batting Lugo, Crisp, and Drew in the 8-9-1 spots in the order. That would create an offensive void of sufficient gravitational pull to destroy objects of great mass. (For example, David Ortiz.) I am not certain that even Eck could save the Sox in that sort of scenario. But, hopefully, such a profane and unbelievable event will never occur.

A Routine Expedition...

2007-06-07T14:45:00.000-04:00

It seemed like a routine expedition for the Red Sox to Oakland this week. Hit the rapids a bit. Some spelunking, perhaps. Catcher/Chef Doug Mirabelli had a nice picnic spread planned for Thursday afternoon. They'd pick up a few W's to increase that MLB-best winning percentage. A good time was to be had by all.

At least until that pesky time vortex laid those plans to waste. Now the Sox are running for their lives. Hiding in temples, caves, and cavernous stadiums. Evading Dinosaurs and DiNardos. Fending off attacking Sleestacks and Casillas. It's a dangerous world, fraught with crystal matrix tables and GIDPs. Manager Terry Francona has been both ingenious and ferocious, otherwise the Red Sox may not even have survived to this point. Obviously, it's been a very draining trip for the Red Sox. There's no rest to be had when large green lizards could have their crossbows trained on you at any time. (Hmm. Tavarez's crossbow is very similar in design to that of the Sleestacks. Interesting, that.)

The Sox will send Curt Schilling to the pylon this afternoon. Surely, he will save them. Just like Uncle Jack saved the Marshall Family. (Uncle Jack DID save them, didn't he?)
Either way, I'm just glad the Sox don't play in the middle of the night this time. Because the Sleestack nightmares are back. Their hissing pierces my very soul...

A Win on this (objective) blogger's scorecard...

2007-06-05T17:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes a win feels more like a loss. Perhaps the team's effort was uneven. Maybe the opponent's performance was just more craptacular. Or an injury to a key player rendered the victory almost meaningless. (See Phillies, 2007 Philadelphia.) Conversely, a team can fall short on the scoreboard, but still demonstrate characteristics that are much more significant when the big picture is considered. Monday night, the Red Sox exhibited the traits that make them a World Series contender. Though an 11th inning HR off the bat of A's 3B Eric Chavez sent Boston to a 5-4 loss, the Sox showed what they were made of Monday night (and Tuesday morning).

The Sox had enough readily available excuses for a poor performance to stock a spring training roster. After their four hour game ended after midnight on Sunday, they flew across the country, not getting into their hotel rooms into 5am. The pre-game buffet options were, at best, lackluster. Their two relief aces, Jonathan Papelbon and Hideki Okajima, were not available for action, as they were representing the Sox in an MLB-sponsored trivia contest. Their starting pitcher, Julian Tavarez had an ERA more than 200% higher (with 200% less hair) than that of his A's counterpart, Danny Haren. Backups Doug Mirabelli, Eric Hinske, and Wily Mo Pena were all in the starting lineup. Boston's chances for a victory didn't look all that promising.

Going into the 9th inning, those chances looked even less promising. Much less. Danny Haren had pitched brilliantly, allowing only two runs (on solo HRs by David Ortiz and Wily Mo Pena) over his 7.2 innings. Haren permitted a mere four hits and one walk, while striking out nine Sox batters. Julian Tavarez, pitching on seven days rest, was not quite as effective. He gave up three runs on nine (!) hits over 5.2 innings. Tavarez managed to pack 107 pitches into those 5.2 innings, including an astounding 72 in the first three frames. The Sox trailed 4-2 as they batted in the 9th against A's (3rd-string) closer, Alan Embree. Embree had been perfect in all four of his 2007 save opportunities going into the game, and had a 2.45 ERA in May.

David Ortiz started the inning with a double, but Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis were retired, both failing to score Ortiz. With two outs, Sox Manager Terry Francona opted to pinch-hit for gajillion dollar RF J.D. Drew, sending C Jason Varitek up to bat for the slumping outfielder. Varitek came through with an RBI single, and was replaced by pinch-runner Coco Crisp. Crisp then scored from 1st on a single by Wily Mo Pena, as the speedy Crisp was running on the pitch as Pena drove it into right-center. The game was tied.

While Papelbon and Okajima demonstrated the breadth of their knowledge in Alameda, Joel Pineiro attempted to demonstrate that he was a capable reliever in Oakland. He failed. Pineiro gave up a walk and a single, putting the go-ahead run on 3rd base, with no outs. Francona went to J. C. Romero, who walked the 1st batter he faced, loading the bases. But then Romero struck out Eric Chavez, and got Bobby Crosby to hit into an inning-ending 5-2-3 DP. Youkilis to Mirabelli to Hinske. Chavez redeeemed himself with the game-winning HR two innings later, off Kyle Snyder, but the Sox had almost won a game they had almost no business being in. Terry Francona deserves a lot of credit for that.

Tom Caron deserves a lot of credit for the strong pre-game performance. May Pitcher of the Month Amalie Benjamin had some updates on Jon Lester's rehab in her pre-game segment, and she allowed only one run in her six innings of work. With strong perfomances on the Extra Bases Blog, and in her game story for Sunday's night's game, she's off to an excellent start in June. However, she did tire a bit in the 6th, and was saved by a tumbling catch by Kathryn Tappen in CF, and a nifty play on a line drive by SS Eric Frede. Caron took note of the hard-hit outs in the 6th, and sent Gordon Edes out for the 7th inning. Edes pitched the 7th and 8th, and his MLB Notebook was as insightful as usual. 1B Don Orsillo helped get Edes out of trouble in the 8th, digging out a low throw from 2B Jerry Remy, completing a Frede-Remy-Orsillo twin killing. Eckersley shut the door in the 9th, punctuating yet another save with an unprovoked shot at the Yankees and their overall suckitude. Nice. The pre-game players performed well, but it was Caron who put them in position to win. SS Frede will have to content himself with his three Gold Gloves, and his .321 lifetime batting average, because he won't be taking the reins from Chessmaster Caron any time soon. The Sox send Daisuke Matsuzaka to the mound against old pal Lenny DiNardo tonight, as they attempt to match the success of their pre-game crew.

The Mighty Lowell ...

2007-06-04T01:11:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox were not to be denied a win tonight. I was sure of it. With 8-0 Josh Beckett on the mound, there was no way the Sox would lose the rubber game of this three-game series. At home, against the overpaid, underperforming, injury-prone team formerly known as the "Bombers?" Not. Gonna. Happen. I was already figuring out how soon the Yankees, who would be trailing the Sox by 14.5 games after tonight's Boston win, would be eliminated from contention for the AL East crown.

The Yankees jumped to a 4-0 lead, with the four runs allowed by Beckett being the most he's allowed in a start this season. Yankee SP Andy Pettitte was pitching well, shutting out the Sox through the first four frames, but Boston got to him for five runs in the bottom of the 5th. Dustin Pedroia (.336 BA, hitting streak now at 13 games) had the big hit, a 2-run double. David Ortiz (.325) had a run-scoring single, with another run scoring when Yankee RF Bobby Abreu misplayed the ball. Kevin Youkilis (.350) hit a sacrifice fly, staking the Red Sox to a 5-4 lead. Pettitte only got one out in the inning, and all five runs were charged to him, raising his season ERA from 2.51 to 2.96. With a 5-4 lead, the only question was how Beckett and the Sox' invincible bullpen would divide up the remaining four scoreless innings they had ahead of them.

Beckett left the game in the 7th, with Javier Lopez (3.46 ERA), Brendan Donnelly (3.63 ERA), and Hideki Okajima (1.27 ERA) combining to get out of the inning with the lead intact. With a 5-4 lead in the 8th, and Okajima and Papelbon (1.77 ERA) ready to finish out the last two innings, it was just a matter of how low the opponents' batting averages against the two Sox relief aces would go. Except Okajima allowed a single to Hideki Matsui, followed by a triple to Robinson Cano, tying the game at 5. As the rain began to fall softly at Fenway, Okajima managed to retire the next three Yankee batters, without allowing the go-ahead run to score from 3rd. I guess you can't expect Okajima to never give up runs. (We only expect PAPELBON to never give up runs.) The run cost Beckett his 9th win, but it put Okajima in position to get his 2nd win, which seemed somehow deserved, considering how well the Japanese southpaw has pitched this year. Besides Beckett still has plenty of starts left, he'll get his 22 wins without too much difficulty.

The Sox should have gone ahead in the bottom of the 8th, but Yankee RF Bobby Abreu made a lucky catch in deep right-center on a blast from Dustin Pedroia. That would have plated two runs, and given Boston an unassailable 7-5 lead. No problem. Jonathan Papelbon would dominate the Yanks in the top of the 9th, and the Walk-Off Sox would win it in the bottom of the inning. Paps would pick up the win, and Mike Lowell would achieve redemption for his error earlier in the game, by knocking in the winning run. Three years from now, I'd be watching this game again on NESN, relishing the memories of another AL Championship season.

The Sox' indomitable closer stared through the now-pounding raindrops, grimacing in intense concentration as he received the sign from C Jason Varitek. Papelbon had retired the first two Yankee batters without any difficulty, as is his way. He had an 0-2 count on Yankee 3B Alex Rodriguez. Fenway Park was primed to erupt in the manner only Fenway can, as Papelbon whiffed Sox fans' least popular player, on their least popular team. Papelbon fired a 95 MPH fastball, putting an exclamation point on what was to be another scoreless inning for the Closer of the Millenium. It was just so perfectly scripted that the inning-ending strikeout would come at the expense of Rodriguez. Except Rodriguez drove the fastball back through the rain, over the short bullpen fence in right field, giving the Yankees a shocking 6-5 lead. Papelbon escaped the inning without any more damage, though his ERA was now an unsightly (for him) 2.11.

But that meaningless 9th inning run would just add a little suspense to the Sox' walk-off win. Now it would just be a come-from-behind walk-off win. Simply a matter of semantics. Still a W in the box score. Yankee closer Mariano Rivera dragged his unwieldy 5.30 ERA in from the bullpen to face the inevitable. Like the Yankees, Rivera was just a ghost of his former self. Rivera and the Yanks have only memories of past excellence to cling to, while the Red Sox are the team of the future. And, of course, the present.

The Sox let the excitement build, opting to start their rally with two outs. Leading off the inning, David Ortiz had battled Rivera in an intense eleven pitch at-bat, before driving a ball that found the glove of Abreu in deep RF. The Sox were not using the Papi script tonight. They had chosen a more exciting, more exhilarating path to victory. There would be no extra innings. There would be one single, mighty blow to secure the win over their hated rivals. A towering blast through the torrent from the skies, drowning the Yankees' hopes in a sea of utter despair. Sox fans would pour out onto the streets, their cumulative exuberance to be heard far above the thunder.

As the rain continued to pummel the players from the heavens, future All-Star Kevin Youkilis took one for the team, reaching 1st on a HBP. Youk, once again, was doing whatever it took to secure another win. Mike Lowell came to the plate as the go-ahead run. He let Rivera get to two strikes, possibly lulling the Yankees into believing that a win was still within their grasp. Making the Sox' pending victory all the more sweeter. The excitement reached a fever pitch. The stands at Fenway shook. The ESPN announcers were silent, as I had muted them long ago. The heavens poured. Red Sox Nation poised to express their jubilation. Then Lowell struck out to end the game. Yankees 6, Red Sox 5.

Watch what you think, they can read your mind...

2007-05-31T09:28:00.000-04:00

It's been a rough week for this replacement-level blogger. Condensed games on MLB.TV. Missed pre-game shows. But restitution has been made, and I am ready to again be a (semi-)useful member of the blogosphere. I am still plagued by the symptoms of missed pre-game shows (impaired motor functions, Sox Knowledge Deficiency), but my trusted medical professional has assured me that SKD can be overcome. A healthy dose of NESN should do the trick.

The past week has been anything but rough for the Sox. A three-game road sweep of the Rangers, followed by two of three over Cleveland at home, extended the Sox' AL East lead to 10.5 games over 2nd place Baltimore, and 13.5 games over the Last Place Yankees. I keep expecting the Sox to stop overachieving, and regress to the mean a little bit. But they just seem to win game after game. If they continue playing over .650 ball (.692 so far this season), they'll be setting up their postseason rotation by July.

Some Soxian highlights:

Youk- He hit .402 in May. He's batting .354, with a .987 OPS, for the season. He is a speed merchant (well, faster than Pedroia, at least) on the bases, has a sweet beard, and a 1.000 fielding pct. He had one game in May where he didn't have a base hit. He's not on the All-Star ballot, but he's certainly deserving of a spot on the team. I wrote him in as an OF on my ballots, as he played 17 games there last year, and I wanted to vote for Lowell at 3B. Youk hasn't actually played the OF this season, but Papi hasn't played any 1B either.

Pedroia- Going into May, he was batting .182. Then he hit .415, with 1.072 (!) OPS in May. Are you kidding me? I was ready to demote him to Pawtucket, to the Shire, have him unceremoniusly dumped into Mt. Doom, whatever necessary to get rid of him. Now I'm mad at Francona whenever Pedroia isn't in the lineup.

Batshit Crazy- Nice move by Julian Tavarez, rolling the ball to 1B for the out on a comebacker. These are the textbook fundamentals he teaches at his baseball academy in Natick. His pitching performances have been less-than-mediocre (5.40 ERA) this season, but he is becoming one of my favorites. Perhaps he's not the only one who is Batshit.

Beckett- 8-0, 2.65 ERA. Incredible.

Papelbon- He's given up some hits, walks, even some runs (2 in his last 5 IP), lately. His WHIP has even increased to (gasp) 1.09! He needs to have another 0.00 ERA month, like he did in April. He's still the best closer in the history of the sport, but RSN holds him to a much higher standard than that.

Frede- The fact that Eric Frede is a backup for the pre-game show speaks volumes about the depth of the organization. Boston Bruins fans know what I'm talking about. He'd be a starter on just about any other squad.

Caron- Quietly approaching 3,000 hits in a long, consistent career. First ballot HOFer, with likely a long managerial career to follow.

Benjamin- Had a little trouble the second time through the lineup in her 1st two April starts, but has been almost invincible since. Between-start side sessions with pitching coach John Farrell have paid off, as Amalie was unbeaten in her four May decisions (2.16 ERA). Her writing has challenged Curt Schilling's for best on the starting staff, and her enthusiasm has endeared her to Red Sox players and fans, alike. (Though not so much to the Detroit Tigers. Her antics on the mound, after striking out the side during a May 14th start, touched off a bench-clearing brawl. If Jason Varitek hadn't intercepted a bat-wielding Gary Sheffield, as Sheffield approached Benjamin to counsel her on her behavior, this would be a very different post.) Benjamin currently trails Hazel Mae by only 1438 blogosphere post mentions. She had better get cracking on bridging that gap, as she is widely considered the frontrunner for the vacant Columbus Blue Jackets GM position. She will likely assume that role by mid-July.

The Sox play the reeling Yankees in a three-game set this weekend at Fenway. The Yankees are in such disarray right now, that a sweep for the torrid Sox is a very possible outcome. A sweep would leave New York 16.5 games behind Boston.

Ultimate Fan

2007-05-25T19:28:00.000-04:00

It was a hot and humid 90 degree day here in the Boston area today. But I spent most of the day indoors. Not that I'm complaining. I wrapped up shooting for a regional commercial that I'll be appearing in. It was actually the second in a series of commercials- the first was so well-received, it was decided there would be a second. (At least. There may be more ahead! Who knows?)

While I have had some minimal experience in the television arena, these have been the first commercials that I've been a part of. You'd think that a thirty second commercial wouldn't take too long to shoot, but it actually takes quite a while. I think I did pretty well, but I guess it should have been easy for me, as I was basically playing myself. I even wore my own clothes. No wardrobe necessary. It was also filmed partially in my home, and partially in my neighborhood, so there was definitely a bit of a comfort factor. You can see the first commercial here.

This post was going to be a review of the Sox accomplishments to date. I already had the musical theme picked out. My transitions were prepped and I had a lot of good material. But I got scooped by (Pos-Men #159) Amalie Benjamin. It wasn't the first time and won't be the last. Your time would be better served listening here, than reading anything I would write. She should have been a little more glowingly positive about the Phillies' chances at the playoffs (though she did predict them as the NL wild card team in the preseason), but aside from that it was a good performance. (This clip was also on NESN, prior to tonight's Rangers-Sox rain delay.) Most of the blogosphere is raving about Hazel Mae and Tina Cervasio, but have you ever seen either of them speak about "correlations" or "Fausto Carmona?" Didn't think so...

Discombobulated

2007-05-24T00:52:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox were just all of out sorts Wednesday night. Gordon Edes short-changing them when he referred to the "three-consecutive" HR barrage, NESN going to commercial with two outs in the inning, the "Wonder of it all" commercial only being played fifty-eight times, as opposed to the eighty-seven showings that is required by Commonwealth of Massachusetts law. Things just were just not going smoothly.

The actual game itself, an 8-3 loss to the Yankees, didn't go so well either. Curt Schilling was ineffective, allowing three runs in the 1st inning, and six in the first four. In his six innings, he surrendered twelve (!) hits and five earned runs. The Yankees bombed Sox pitching for sixteen hits. The Sox had twelve hits of their own, including Coco Crisp's 1st HR of the season, but they left eight men on base. Yankee SP Andy Pettitte permitted only one run in his seven innings win, despite giving up nine hits.

Some positives:

CHB had a segment before the game, so I was able to get some much-needed vacuuming done at that point.
Amalie Benjamin (blogosphere Pos-Men #154) had a long (15 minute?) segment with Eric Frede. In the early innings, she was having difficulty finding the correct arm slot, but she got stronger as the segment progressed. Despite the excessive gyration of her appendages, she communicated her knowledge well, and her enthusiasm for the topic was obvious. (Final line: 7 IP 5 H 1 ER 2 BB 9 K) She'll need to work with John Farrell on her mechanics a bit, but you just can't teach that kind of raw talent.
Dennis Eckersley had another dominating performance. With results like these, it's curious that Ken Macha was given so many save opportunities in the last few weeks. Eck is just downright Papelbonian.
Kevin Youkilis (2-4, .347) continued his hot hitting. Where would the Sox be if they had traded the (not actually Greek) God of Walks for GM Billy Beane? OK, probably in 1st place by 8.5 games. But Youk has still been the best 1B in the AL this season, and is quite deserving of a spot on the All-star team. (Alongside Beckett, Okajima, Papelbon, Benjamin, Matsuzaka, Lowell, and Eckersley. Note: This is a partial list.)
Okajima and Papelbon were not used on Wednesday, giving them two days off before the Texas series.

The Sox take their 9.5 game AL East lead into Texas to face the 18-29 Rangers. Texas has won only three of their last ten, and their .383 "winning" percentage is the worst in the AL. With the Yankees playing the 1st place Angels this weekend, this should be a good time for the Sox to further extend their already lengthy lead.

Sick, But Just in the Head...

2007-05-23T00:18:00.000-04:00

Those of you who have followed Julian Tavarez' careers in the baseball and adult film industries have a good idea of his makeup. Sure, he is a bit erratic, and prone to control problems. But he is always willing to take the ball, whenever he gets the opportunity. His manhood is not to be questioned. Tonight, on his 34th birthday, he was suffering from flu-like systems that would have scratched a lesser man from his start. But Tavarez, seen dressed heavily before the game, indicated that "his head was sick, but his arm was fine." These conditions were less than atypical for the veteran pitcher, so he was good to go.

Mike Mussina got the start for the Yankees. He was not good to go. In the top of the 1st inning, the Sox sent eight batters to the plate, and jumped to a quick 3-0 lead. Mussina got to two strikes on five of those batters, but just couldn't seem to put them away. (The leisurely pace of his 85 MPH fastball may have been a factor in his inability to close out at bats.) The big blow was a three-run HR by Manny Ramirez, his 7th of the season. The Sox looked poised to knock Mussina out of the game early, and then the bats would feast on a banquet of overused Yankee relievers. Even J.D. Drew (.179 in May) was salivating at that prospect.

Mussina, though he allowed a solo HR to Mike Lowell (9) in the 4th, managed to hang in the game. The Stanford Economics Major even threw a very economical 8 pitches in the 6th, and was sent out to start the 7th. Whereupon the Sox finally finished him off with three more runs. I was very surprised Yankees MGR Joe Torre left Mussina out there so long (99 pitches), but the weak Yankee bullpen was probably a factor in Torre's decision-making. Mussina's final line was 6.2 IP, 10 H, 7 ER, and his ERA jumped to 6.52.

Batshit Crazy Tavarez also had some control problems (four walks), but only allowed three hits in his 5 2/3 innings. He held the Yanks to two runs, and left the game with a 4-2 lead. Tavarez threw 106 pitches (only 58 for strikes), but gutted out his third win in seven innings. He performed very well, especially considering his illness.

With the Sox leading 7-2 into the bottom of the 8th, I was rather shocked that Terry Francona sent Hideki Okajima out for his 22nd appearance of the season. (Perhaps Francona was exhibiting symptoms of Tavarez' illness?) Surely, the Sox could hold the Yanks to four runs or less, without having to use Okajima or Papelbon. The pitchers I would have used in the 8th inning, instead of Okajima, include: Snyder, Romero, Pineiro, Eckersley, and McCarty. That is just a partial list. Okajima had almost nothing, but Francona left him out there for the 29 pitches it took the Japanese southpaw to get through the inning. He allowed one hit, two walks, and one run. Only 15 of his 29 offerings were for strikes.

Then, with a 7-3 lead in the 9th, Closer Jonathan Papelbon was called into the game. He also labored a bit, walking two, before he used a 95 MPH heater to close out the Yanks. He threw 25 pitches, only 14 for strikes. Usually, I am very excited to get to see Papelbon pitch, but this was not the type of game in which I want to see him involved. We need to have improved Papelbon Conservation. Hopefully, using the two bullpen aces tonight, for almost 30 pitches each, won't make the pair unavailable later in the week, when they are needed in a close game.

I was very excited to see Dennis Eckersley back on the pre-game show. He was missed. Gordon Edes threw out some serious stats in his appearance, which was strong. CHB stopped hyping his book (in the top 5700 in Books on Amazon.com!) for a live segment, but I didn't see it because my TV is programmed to block objectionable content. So I don't mistakenly see obscene things like CHB interviews, or Dancing With The Stars. But I'm sure all of his points were salient, and his references contemporary. (I'm kidding, CHB. Please stop e-mailing my boss!) Amalie Benjamin was absent, as she was receiving a well-deserved Doctorate in Sportswriting from Columbia. (No, it wasn't an "honorary" doctorate. If you read the Globe regularly, you wouldn't even consider such things.) It has recently come to my attention that Amalie trails Hazel Mae in Blogosphere Pos-Mens 1361 to 150, so I'm determined to do my level best to help bridge that gap. Because any post without any Benjamin or Papelbon Mentions just isn't worth reading. Unless it's a post about the Phillies, in which case it's simply lacking.

Marquee Event

2007-05-22T13:48:00.000-04:00

Monday night featured the two hour Season Finale of 24 as the marquee event. It wasn't bad, but not as good as the past seasons. I feel kind of like I did after the Philadelphia Flyers won their 30th consecutive Stanley Cup. It was awesome they won the Cup again, but they won with the weakest of their thirty Stanley Cup winning teams.

Of more interest were the 29th Century Alien Nazis on the Sci-Fi Channel. They had this sweet laser cannon set up on the roof of a building in 1944. It was actually very similar to the one they have at Citizens Bank Park. It just didn't have the Greg Luzinski-sized chair attached to it. But I'm not saying that Pat Gillick is an alien. (Though it might explain some of his transactions.)

What else is going on? Well, new albums from Symphony X, The Old Dead Tree, Circus Maximus, Mind's Eye, Dream Theater, Raintime, Tomorrow's Eve, Sieges Even, and Spheric Universe Experience are all coming down the pike. I need to win my fantasy baseball league to be able to afford all these. Fortunately, my time-tested strategy is working well so far. Hang close in 8th place all season, then pass everyone in September, when their focus is on fantasy football.

Anything else? Still didn't get my Chase Utley bobblehead in the mail yet. I've got a Position of Prominence ready for Chase, right next to the Papelbon bobble. The Phillies are playing well right now (7-3 in last 10), I expect them to play even better once the Utley bobble is in place. Sunday's win was another one to be praised during the World Series DVD. Adam Eaton didn't seem to be pitching well- but he didn't actually give up any runs. Pat Burrell has morphed back into a slugger, and Brett Myers is a Papelbonesque closer. The Phillies just did what they had to do to win. They play a series against Florida next, with Cole Hamels starting tonight. I think it is time for a Phillies sweep.

What else is going on in baseball? Lincecum and Oswalt face off tonight in a stellar pitching matchup. Giants-Astros. MLB.TV at 10:15pm . Tune in.

What of the Red Sox, you ask? Fine. The Red Sox. Well, they are only playing .600 ball when I miss the pre-game show, so I have to share some of the blame for last night's loss to the Yankees. Tim Wakefield didn't pitch that well, and his ERA is 3.14 now. It's seems like only yesterday that his ERA was 1.79. (It was actually two starts ago.) The Sox had their chances (12 LOB), but just couldn't get it done against Wang. But, so bleeping what? They still have a 9.5 game lead over the Yankees. They still have a .682 winning percentage, tops in MLB. They still have the greatest closer in the History of Mankind. Tonight's Sox starter, Batshit Crazy Tavarez, has a 3.50 ERA in May starts, and has not allowed an earned run while pitching in his Papi Shoes. Yankee starter Mike Mussina has a 5.64 ERA this season, a 7.20 ERA at home, and had a 4.76 ERA against Boston last season. All of these ERA's are higher than 3.50, therefore, by the quasitransitive property, the Red Sox will win tonight. But you should still tune in, if only to watch Batshit direct his fielders.

An Effective Fifth Starter's Start

2007-05-20T23:38:00.000-04:00

The unthinkable happened Sunday. Jonathan Robert Papelbon allowed three "hits" and an earned run. It was the second time this season in which a Papelbon appearance included scoring by the opposition. Twice. In the same season.

DO NOT BE ALARMED! First off, it was a non-save situation. The Sox didn't lose, or anything crazy like that. (Now, THAT would be unthinkable.) Secondly, the "hits" were crap. Edgar Renteria dunked a weak bloop into short RF, that somehow fell between Pedroia, Crisp, and Drew for a wussy little single. Renteria then took off for second, as an indifferent Varitek allowed him the base. There was a second crappy single, in which the bat was, literally, split into pieces by the immense firepower of the Red Sox' 2nd best foosball player. Later, there was another single, this one was struck well, on a Pap slider. Everyone else- WHIFF CITY. Papelbon struck out the side with a ferocious mid-90's heater. Despite being touched for a meaningless run, which increased his ERA to a still-Papelbonian 1.76, Closer Boy was his usual dominant self. You can rest assured that he will be ready for the impending series against the fading Yankees. It doesn't seem likely that New York will be within three (or ten) runs in the 9th inning of any of the games. But Jonathan will probably come in for a scoreless inning in a non-save situation to get some work in/get his ERA under 1.70.

Kason Gabbard, called up from Pawtucket to make a spot start, pitched five-plus strong innings. He was charged with only two earned runs, both scoring after Brendan Donnelly was called into the game in the 6th. Donnelly seemed to be wearing Detroit Tiger SP Nate Robertson's spectacles, which may have adversely affected his effectiveness. Donnelly's sub-par outing (4 batters faced, 2 hits/1 walk allowed, 1 K) raised Gabbard's ERA from 0.00 to 3.60. Still, it was quite a satisfactory "5th starter's performance" by the 25 year old lefty. (Note: A certain Extra Bases blogger recently referred to a start by Julian Tavarez, in which he allowed ten hits and four earned runs in five innings, as a good "5th starter's performance." But, considering Batshit Crazy's ERA for that appearance was 7.20, it doesn't seem there was anything "good" about it.)

After watching Gabbard silence the Braves' bats today, I wondered what the Sox' record would be had he been in the rotation all season. So I ran a statistical simulation from the start of the season, with Gabbard taking all of Tavarez' starts, and Tavarez working out of the bullpen. The resulting predicted record for the Sox: 43-0. Even though Tavarez was projected to receive a ten game suspension for an incident involving poisoned darts, the simulation predicted that Sox would be undefeated with Gabbard as the 5th starter. Of course, the Manny-Batshit Love in the Dugout incident would never have occurred in this scenario. So there are pros and cons. (Note: I ran the same simulation with Papelbon in the rotation, and the result was a 58-0 record for the Sox. In 43 games.)

The game was delayed two and a half hours from the start. As a result, I only missed the first inning. However, the Sox scored four of their six runs in that inning. All four runs scored almost immediately after I crossed over from the highway into Somerville, a sudden outburst by the Sox that sometimes occurs as a direct result of my driving patterns. Jason Varitek (.280) had the big blow, a two-out triple, which cleared the loaded bases. The Sox have won seven of their last ten, building up some momentum as they enter their series in New York. Not that they need any momentum against the 19-23 Yankees, winners of three of their last ten.

All the Yen in the World...

2007-05-19T23:16:00.000-04:00

Fifty-eight Gajillion American Dollars. When I saw Julian Tavarez wearing shoes with Big Papi's visage on the front, the future was immediately obvious. The Papelbonian Signature Line. Papelbon Signature Hunting Jackets. Papelbon Signature Safari Hats. Papelbon Signature Nunchakas. Papelbon EVERYTHING. I would pay fifty-eight gajillion dollars for any of these incredible items. This needs to happen. A year from now I expect to be watching Paps play badminton on NESN, with commercials for these items between matches. There is too much potential for profit here to be ignored.

The Papi shoes are good for now, though. Julian Tavarez is certainly the correct choice to model them. Unless this was all a dream. Tina Cervasio and Amalie Benjamin describing a bizarre Sox item worn by Julian Tavarez certainly seems like the type of dream I would have. But in my dream, Amalie would be a bit more fluid in her comedic delivery. As anyone who's seen her perform in the comedy clubs would agree, Amalie excels in the comedic arts. (If you don't know anyone who has seen her perform in that arena, you'll just have to take my word for it.) But she did perform very well today in the Extra Bases Blog, at least until the later innings when she seemed to tire, and her pitches were up in the zone. However, Gordon Edes should have been brought in to relieve her well before that point. Her pitch count was very high, and you could see the signs of fatigue behind the hipster glasses.

You won't see signs of fatigue in Daisuke Matsuzaka's eyes any time soon. He's worth every penny of the 58 gajillion dollars (70280978000000000 yen) the Sox paid for him. (Yes. The Sox' big offseason acquisition is of comparable value to a Papelbon Safari Hat. If you don't think that seems plausible, you obviously are not imagining the Safari Hat properly.) He threw 103 pitches in eight innings, and indicated in interviews after the game that he was good for about 150 pitches a game. Matsuzaka scattered nine hits and did not allow a walk. All three runs he conceded came in the top of the 7th, at which point the Sox had a 12-0 lead. He is 3-0 with a 1.87 ERA in his last three starts, and is making my 7th round fantasy league selection seem quite prescient. (And not "a reach", as has been derisively suggested in some circles.)

I missed about half of the first game, however, due to the responsibilities of my position as a consultant for the Philadelphia Phillies organization. I was on the highway when Mike Lowell pounded a grand slam in the 5th, giving the Sox a 7-0 lead. I pumped my fist several times, and honked my horn, in celebration of the blast over the Green Monster. None of the other cars seemed to share my exuberance, and the car immediately in front of me made a sudden, and somewhat daring, change to a different lane. Apparently, they did not interpret my behavior in the proper Soxian context. But they were driving kind of slow (only 10 MPH above the speed limit), and their removal from my path helped me get home in time to see Wily Mo Pena's prodigious shot. Reports indicate that the ball landed somewhere in Billerica. Wily Mo celebrated the HR by returning to the dugout and treating himself to a pudding cup. After he finished with the pudding, he played the air drums on his sizeable thighs, until Boston's 13-3 victory was complete. There is definitely a place for Wily Mo in my Papelbonian Vision of Future NESN.

The second game of the doubleheader- not so good. I was hoping for a rainout before the game was official, but despite the torrent of raindrops, the torrent of Braves offense continued unabated. I was also watching the Phillies-Blue Jays game, and, at one point, both of my teams faced eleven runs deficits. Not the best night.

The Sox game seemed almost surreal by the end. The stands had large pockets of empty desolation, some kind of alarm was going off at the stadium, the fans were getting a wee bit rowdy, Cora was playing 1B. Weird, crazy stuff. But I hope they were taping Sox Appeal during the soggy tumult. These would be the ideal circumstances to separate the wheat from the chaff. (The blue hats from the pink?) Besides that, there wasn't too much possible utility to be derived from Saturday night's 14-0 loss. Unless you value watching Cora play exciting, new positions. In which case, you might be the only viewer of tonight's Sox In 2. Buenos noches, amigos!

Sox WHOMP Tigers. Twice.

2007-05-17T22:56:00.000-04:00

First off, 12:35pm?! What kind of start time is that for a WEEKDAY game? Seriously, some of us are gainfully employed in high profile jobs. But I was lucky to get out a little early, listening to the middle innings on radio, and watching the last three on NESN. But totally missed the pre-game show. Scoff, if you will, but I like to watch the pre-game show. It gets me in the proper Soxian frame of mind. Plus, I like the shenanigans.

Those radio guys are pretty good but there was a bit of Batshit Love going on. Not the "Manny Being Manny" type of Batshit Love.
More like McCarver's "Jeter Love." There was quite a bit of talk of Tavarez being a great teammate, great family man, and getting a bad rap. Apparently, Tavarez and his Batshit Ways are growing on all us in Red Sox Nation. Thursday, he was directing traffic in the infield with the finger points, as usual, a habit he indicates he "doesn't even realize he's doing." (As quoted by Sox radio announcers.) But even more than the random quirkiness, I enjoyed Tavarez' seven innings of one-run ball. Okajima and Papelbon held the Tigers scoreless the rest of the way, and the Sox had another victory, 2-1.

From 4pm to 6pm (a whole, dark, desolate two hours!), NESN had no live Sox content. A prime opportunity missed. They could have televised the between-games Sox foosball tournament, won by Dustin Pedroia. Or Manny and Julian spending time together. Or Jonathan Papelbon listening to, and critiquing, Amalie Benjamin, as she prepared for her Thursday PM lecture at M.I.T. (Subject matter: Quantum Mechanics) Some NESN bigwigs dropped the foosball here.

But they made up for it with a strong pre-game effort for the second game. It included Dave McCarty speaking about the time he dressed as Wally, the Green Monster. (I like McCarty, they should keep him around.) But the highlight, undoubtedly, was RemDawg playing the air guitar before a live spot, falling off the table he was "performing" on, and then being unable to control his laughter afterwards. I suspect we'll be seeing that clip a few times in the future. (A clip is currently available on redsox.com.) Expect RemDawg to be associated with Guitar Hero III, in some manner. He has too much obvious talent not to be.

Curt Schilling was a bit sloppy in his start in the second game, allowing eight hits in six innings of work. All eight of the hits were for extra bases (seven doubles, solo HR), and he threw 118 pitches. But he somehow kept getting out of trouble, stranding eleven Detroit runners, and only allowing two runs. A gutsy display of veteranosity from Boston's Premier Blogger.

But I must confess I missed some of Curt's performance, as I was also watching the season finale of The Office. Which was, in fact, brilliant. In might be the Garelick Chocolate Milk talking, or the vertigo-inducing high of Sox Superiority, but that might have been the greatest hour of (non-sports) programming ever. (Which would place it in 467,543,768th place overall.)
In baseball terms, it was a good as a matchup between Papelbon and Hamels, both as starters, where they each struck out the side on nine pitches. In each of the first 47 innings. While playing chess against each other from laptops in their respective dugouts. Then, after agreeing to draws in both baseball and chess, they go out together, onto the streets of Boston to fight crime. (Because Chase Utley has already rid Philadelphia of crime.) The Office was that good tonight. (That's what she said.)

Back at Fenway, reserve outfielder Eric Hinske took matters into his own hands, as pretty much everyone was expecting him to do. First, he made an outstanding, diving catch in RF, in which he embedded his face into the dirt near the foul line. (Tiger RF Magglio Ordonez was quoted after the game as saying he could "still see Hinske's face (carved) in(to) the dirt" and it was "creeping him (Ordonez) out.") Hinske's catch was ESPN's "Top Play of the Day", which would be a greater distinction if ESPN acknowledged the sport known as "hockey." To get an idea of how the catch must have felt, you'd have to have a buddy fill a shovel with dirt and then WHOMP you in the face with it. (For best results, choose Wily Mo Pena as your buddy. And make sure you stand still- don't change speeds, or curve, or anything like that when waiting for the WHOMP.)

Next, in an effort to separate himself in the competition for playing time with oft-injured J.D. Drew, Hinske demonstrated his tremendous pain tolerance by staying in the game. In fact, not only did Hinske stay in the game, he hit the eventual game-winning HR. If was Hinske's 1st of the year, one fewer than Drew has, in 80 more ABs. Okajima closed out the win in the 9th inning, as Papelbon was unavailable due to an injury sustained in the Foosball Tournament Finals against Pedroia.

I was WICKED PSYCHED to see the Sox renew their eons-old rivalry with the arch-nemesis Atlanta Braves tonight, but they have been rained out. Devern Hansack will need to wait at least another day for his next no-hitter, in Saturday's split doubleheader. The weather is quite dreary and gloomy right now. Not unlike the hearts of Tigers fans.

Let Down

2007-05-16T18:41:00.000-04:00

Red Sox Nation was expecting a Wakefield-Verlander pitcher's duel Tuesday PM. Verlander was very effective, allowing only two runs, over 7.2 innings. Wakefield, not so much. He allowed five runs over seven innings. The Sox just couldn't seem to get untracked, being held to eight hits. It was kind of a dreary performance for the Sox, but a lot of credit has to go to Verlander for quieting their bats. The Sox have still won 7 of 9, and still have the best record in MLB.

Highlights of last night's game included a Youkilis HR, a strong relief performance (1.1 IP, 1 BB, 3 K) by Kyle Snyder, and an outstanding catch by C Doug Mirabelli. Mirabelli dodged various obstacles, including bats, umpires, and dragons, to make a grab on a foul ball. The ball popped from his glove, but he grabbed it with his right hand. Sweet. But that was about it. I tried to help the Sox' chances by watching on mute (with closed-captioning) for a while, but it didn't help. The Sox trailed by five runs into the 9th, just as they did on Sunday, but there was no miracle this time.

Lowlights included Wakefield's performance, which increased his ERA to 2.41. J. D. Drew almost impaled himself on the short wall in front of the Sox bullpen. If the Sox hadn't begun the practice of retracting the outfield wall spikes when the Sox were in the field, the problem of finding enough AB's for Wily Mo Pena would have been solved. (Drew is day-to-day.) Amalie Benjamin was out of the lineup for Tuesday's game as the band she fronts was opening for Tool at the Tweeter Center. (Reports indicate that one of the show's highlights was when Amalie performed "Schism" with Tool in the encore. But that clip is not available on YouTube yet.) Neil Cafardo and Gordon Edes performed ably in her absence. Hopefully, Amalie and J. D. will return to the lineup soon.

Collision Course

2007-05-14T23:20:00.000-04:00

It didn't look that great for the Phillies in the 8th inning. Trailing 6-2, they hadn't been able to get their offense untracked. Their opponents, the Milwaukee Brewers, have been battling the AL Juggernaut from Boston for MLB Winning Percentage Supremacy. Milwaukee was 21-0 when leading after seven innings this season, thanks to an extremely effective bullpen staffed with gaudy stats, but somewhat devoid of household names.

Now the Brewers are 21-1, when leading after seven innings this season. The first two batters reached for the Phils against ex-Sox P Brian Shouse, and the Brewers called in Derrick Turnbow to snuff out the rally. Turnbow entered the game sporting a 1.76 ERA and a WHIP under 1. (Why can't the Phillies get guys like this? Correction: Why can't the Phillies protect guys like this after drafting them, and not lose them in the Rule 5 Draft?) NINE Phillie batters later (Yes, still in the 8th inning, folks), the score was 8-6 Phillies, and Turnbow's ERA had ballooned to 3.94. Brett Myers came on in the 9th and pitched a clean inning for his fourth save in as many opportunities. The Phillies have now won 4 of 5, and are only 2 games under .500. With 124 regular season games left to play, the Phillies, by my calculations, are on pace for a 119 win season.

The Red Sox faced off against Detroit, owners of a 23-13 record. Daisuke Matsuzaka had a 4.80 ERA as he took the mound, but was coming off a strong outing in Toronto. This outing was even stronger- a complete game effort with only one run (Curtis Granderson HR) and five hits (0 walks!) allowed. He threw 86 of his 124 pitches for strikes, and improved his record to 5-2, with a 4.17 ERA. The Sox made Tigers starter Nate Robertson work, getting 11 hits and 3 runs off the goggled southpaw in the first five innings. Robertson threw an astounding 115 pitches in his five inning outing. Boston tacked on another four runs in the 8th inning (My teams scored a total of TEN 8th inning runs tonight!), for a final score of 7-1. The Red sox now have a 3 game winning streak, and a snazzy 26-11 record.

The is usually the paragraph where I speak of RemDawg shenanigans, and Gary Matthews Sr's tendency to make me want to remove my ears with the closest available object. But I've got nuthin'. I had the Phillies on my computer, located right next to the Sox in NESN HD, as per usual. But I also was watching 24 at the same time (only 2 hrs. left- next Monday!), and Enterprise (Damn Xindi!), so I missed some of the hilarious and/or idiotic dialogue in the two broadcasts. Sorry, folk(s).

I did watch some of the Sox pre-game though, in hopes of seeing Amalie Benjamin, and not seeing Ken Macha. There was no Ken (Dave McCarty tonight), but no Amalie reports either. (I think she performs in a comedy club somewhere in Newton on Mondays.) Nick Cafardo did a very strong job handling the Extra Bases blog in Amalie's absence. Frequent updates (even not counting his double and triple posts), a concluding post, and a Tim VanEgmond reference- well done Nick! The Red Sox writers were as good tonight as the Red Sox players. I'm sure Amalie had a lights-out performance on stage, but she needs to follow Nick's example when it comes to the blogging.

The Phillies and Red Sox both continue rolling towards a 1915 World Series rematch Tuesday night. The Sox send Tim Wakefield (4-3, 1.79 ERA) up against Tigers ace Justin Verlander (3-1, 2.83 ERA). Quite an intriguing pitching matchup. The Phillies have Adam Eaton and his 7.43 ERA (for a low, low price of only $8 million/year!) slated to face Brewers RHP Claudio Vargas. Not quite as intriguing.

Emphatic

2007-05-11T19:26:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you can just feel that you are about to witness Greatness. That history is unfolding before your eyes. Perhaps Josh Beckett retires the first gajillion batters. Or David Ortiz hits two homers in the first two innings. Maybe Jerry Remy reduces Don Orsillo to a laughing, crying mass of play-by-play before the first pitch is even thrown. Clear indications that you are about to observe something truly memorable. When it was announced that Jonathan Papelbon would be mic'd up during batting practice, prior to Friday night's game against the Orioles, the denizens of Red Sox Nation had an inkling that something Great awaited us. But none of us could have predicted the extent of the Greatness that would soon come to pass.

Jonathan Papelbon started the pre-game show on it's ascent into immortality. The mic'd closer, holding court in the outfield, needled Josh Beckett over his decision to use the word "emphatic", in an interview. The inimitable reliever's assertion was that, since Beckett couldn't spell, or define the word, he shouldn't be using it. He presented his case to Manager Terry Francona, just as a child would ask a parent to mediate a dispute between siblings. Francona, handling Papelbon's concern with the same consideration he'd likely give to a pitching change, ruled in the reliever's favor. In the second segment, Papelbon asked Hideki Okajima and Daisuke Matsuzaka why Japan was known as the "Land of the Rising Sun", and then determined that Japan was located in the "Far West" because you could get there by going far to the west. (Mike Timlin was amused by this logic.) The third Papelbonian segment was marred by audio difficulties, but seemed to feature Papelbon and Timlin analyzing the terms of payment for a wager among the relief corps. Three top notch perfomances from Papelbon. These perfomances alone would have been worthy of pre-game show HOF consideration. The other segments of the pre-game show launched it into immortality.

Only one individual could have made this pre-game experience more sublime. That individual, of course, is Amalie Benjamin. Amalie made a glorious return from Scranton, the Land of Dunder-Mifflin, where she was scouting the PawSox. She made three appearances on the show. Yes, THREE. First, she was speaking on Tim Wakefield's brilliance. Later, she was addressing Devern Hansack's demotion to Pawtucket with Tina Cervasio. Then she was, AT THE NESN DESK on Yawkey Way, with Tom Caron and Ken Macha, commenting on the development of Jacoby Ellsbury. Hazel Mae and Tina Cervasio get all of the press, but you don't see them analyzing Ellsbury, and then qualifying their statement by mentioning that a small sample size was being considered. Comparing Hazel and Amalie is like comparing Huston Street to Jonathan Papelbon. Comparing above average to stellar. Apples to bricks of gold. SOLID GOLD, if that wasn't clear.

Hopefully, tonight's brilliance will serve as a precursor to the future of television. A pre-game show that is wall-to-wall Papelbon/Benjamin is just the beginning. I dream of a day where I can turn on the TV at any time, and watch Papelbon hunting ducks in Mississippi, from a duck boat he liberated from Boston. With Amalie commenting, to hilarious results. And I know there are others who share my dream.

Paco is a Sneaky Pepper

2007-05-11T18:02:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox had a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the 1st Thursday night in Toronto. But the Blue Jays had loaded the bases, with one out, and slugger Frank Thomas at the plate. Tim Wakefield had a 2.11 ERA coming into the game, but was off to a bit of an inauspicious start. Wakefield fell behind 2 balls/0 strikes, before coming back to strike out Thomas for the second out. Then, in an instant, the inning was over. Catcher Doug Mirabelli fired a pickoff throw to 1st, where 1B Kevin Youkilis tagged out baserunner Troy Glaus, to complete an inning-ending double play.

That was pretty much it for the Blue Jays right there. Wakefield faced the minimum 18 batters over the next six innings, allowing only one measly single to Vernon Wells, who was retired when Wakefield induced Glaus to hit into a double play. Wakefield used his fastball much more than usual, at least 25 of his 93 offerings were his 78 MPH heater. His ERA is now 1.78. The Jays couldn't hit any of the Sox pitching last night, finishing with only five hits in the 8-0 loss.

The Sox bats had no problem with Jays ace Roy Halladay, who had one of the worst outings of his career. Halladay threw five innings, allowing eight runs (seven earned) on eleven hits. The Sox jumped to a 8-0 lead after 4 innings, with a three-run HR from Mike Lowell being the key blow. Kevin Youkilis (3 hits), J. D. Drew (2), Manny Ramirez (2), and Alex Cora (2) all had multiple hit games.

All that was left at that point was to see what kind of wackiness Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo came up with. Remy had Wakefield-like stuff, commenting on the official scorer ("Does he think he's at the Kentucky Derby with that hat?"), and the sneaky methods that Paco employs in the Pepper mascot races in Toronto. Jerry and Don also found an interview with a fan who saw Ted Williams play, in person, "many times" hilarious, as the fan's hair almost blew away. Don said, "It was windy", between chuckles. Jerry did that wheezing laugh for a few pitches, before suddenly fully composing himself mid-sentence. Very impressive recovery.

Also very impressive is the pre-game show for Friday's game, which I am watching right now. Actually, this may very well be the best pre-game show ever. Yes, that's right folk(s). EVER. It definitely merits a separate post.

Sox kick back and win again

2007-05-10T12:43:00.000-04:00

It was a leisurely and relaxing night at the ballpark on Wednesday. It was good night for reminiscing about Manny Antics of the Past. (The acrobatic catch of a Johnny Damon relay throw was definitely my favorite.) A good night for hawking Matsuzaka headbands, which are good for "wedding and banquets." (I'm OK with RemDawg hawking his wares because, well, he's RemDawg. If Amalie Benjamin wanted to hawk her clothing line on the air, that would also be fine. I'm sure Amalie's line is much classier than that of the wife of that guy on the Yankees.) A good night to ponder just how many Red Sox should make the All-Star team. (Definitely, at least 11.)

The action on the field was pretty good too. For Sox fans. Boston demolished the Blue Jays, 9-3, in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the score would seem to indicate. It was the 8th straight loss for Toronto. Daisuke Matsuzaka was superb, allowing only one measly run in seven innings, whiffing eight. He avoided the one really bad inning that seemed to haunt him each start this season, and lowered his ERA from 5.45 to 4.80. The Sox belted four more HRs, courtesy of Messrs. Lugo, Lowell, Ortiz, and Ramirez. David Ortiz went 4 for 5 (.311 BA) and Dustin Pedroia (2-4) raised his BA to .267(!). It seems like just last week Lil' Dustin's BA was .172. (May 3rd) But he has gone on a 10 for 17 tear, giving him a .500 BA in May, coupled with a blistering 1.345 OPS this month. (Good thing they didn't send him down to Pawtucket, as this foresight-lacking blogger clamored for the Sox to do.) With the exception of J. D. Drew (4 for his last 41!), it was a good night for building up those All-star stats.

The 22-10 Sox go for the sweep at 7:07 tonight, with Tim Wakefield (3-3, 2.11) facing Jays ace Roy Halladay (4-1, 3.59). It seems like the Sox have spent half of their season facing Halladay and the Jays. Halladay has a 2.94 ERA against the Sox this season, in 2 starts. (So, I guess only 9% of the Sox' games have been against Halladay.) Hopefully, the Sox can continue their streak and get Wakefield some run support.

We'd Make Great Pets

2007-05-09T14:55:00.000-04:00

It was $2 Ticket Tuesday in Toronto, as the Blue Jays hosted the Red Sox last night. Even considering the exchange rate, the Toronto fans did not exactly get their money's worth. The Red Sox rode HRs from Pedroia, Varitek, Lowell, and Youkilis, and a strong pitching performance by Josh Beckett (7-0) to an easy 9-2 victory. Beckett lowered his season ERA to 2.51 with seven innings of one-run ball. The only run he allowed came on the 1st pitch he threw, a home run ball to Jays OF Alex Rios. Pedroia (2-4) and Varitek (4-4) continued their strong hitting, raising their batting averages to .254 and .284, respectively.

The Red Sox announcing team of Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo also brought their A game to Canada. I rather enjoyed when they spoke of getting a Pet Tavarez. But the best part was when, in the later innings, the Blue Jay faithful started throwing paper airplanes onto the field. Don Orsillo attempted to counter, presumably in defense of Red Sox Nation, but his poorly constructed airplane crashed and burned, not unlike Jays SP Victor Zambrano (2.2 IP, 8 ER). I think Jerry Remy spent pretty much the rest of the game trying to stop laughing after that. Hilarious. This is why you have to watch the WHOLE game, people. You never know what's going to happen with the Sox, or their announcers.

The Sox face the Jays again tonight, in a matchup of Japanese starters. Daisuke Matsuzaka will try not to have that one, single, horrific ERA-pummeling inning, and make a positive contribution to my fantasy team. He will be opposed by Tomo Ohka, who needs to stay in the AL, away from the Phillies (2.30 ERA against Philly in 74 IP). Ohka is, of course, best known for that Simpson episode for Bart pretended to be Ohka batting against Millhouse/Esteban Yan. So brilliantly random. Looking forward to another Sox win tonight, and more brilliantly random behavior from Remdawg and Orsillo. The only thing that could be better is a miked-up Jonathan Papelbon...

Travesty

2007-05-07T02:15:00.000-04:00

When watching the Phillies-Giants broadcast on ESPN, the national audience was treated to various poll results on the Barry Bonds situation. With Bonds approaching the all-time MLB HR record (though he didn't play Sunday night because he, obviously, fears Cole Hamels), I began to consider the question, "What is the Greatest Travesty in Sports?"
The correct answer is blatantly obvious. I'm sure you are thinking the same thing I am right now.

How can NESN have a commercial for The Boston Globe Pre-Game Show without a clip of Amalie Benjamin? That's like a commercial for 24 without that Jack Bauer guy. Charlie Manuel does things that make more sense than this. (Well, occasionally.) NESN needs to fix this, and then get rolling with NESN II:PapelTV.

Phils win!

2007-05-07T00:52:00.000-04:00

Cole Hamels and the Phillies showed an ESPN audience their potential, beating the Giants Sunday night, 8-5. The Phillies showed strong pitching, hitting, baserunning, and fielding in their dominating victory in San Francisco. (OK, maybe not the fielding part, as they made three errors, leading to two unearned runs.) But, definitely, all of those other things.

Hamels, the 2007-2034 NL Cy Young Award winner, had his biting changeup in top form, as he struck out nine batters in his seven innings of work. He allowed five runs on the night, but only three of them were earned. Hamels is now 4-1 for the season, with a 3.59 ERA. He has a Papelbon-esque 52 K's in 47.2 innings, to go along with his NL-leading 4235 slaughtered ducks in the offseason. He even supported his own cause with a double. Geoff Geary followed with a scoreless 8th inning, and Closer Brett Myers finished up for the save.

Pat Burrell lead the offensive attack, walking in all four plate appearances. He raised his OBP to an otherworldly .449. Also contributing were: Shane Victorino (2-5, 1st HR of the season), Jimmy Rollins (2-5, with another triple, his MLB-leading 5th), and Ryan Howard (5th HR, good for 29th place in MLB). Michael Bourn stole two bases, after coming into the game as a pinch runner for Burrell. (Fortunately, the Phillies held the lead, so that particular Manuel Maneuver didn't come back to bite the Phillies for the 16th time this season.)

There was some cause for concern, as Monday night's scheduled starting pitcher Freddy Garcia was injured before the game. Garcia was shagging fly balls when he ran into a stationary cart on the field, causing a bruise on his left shin. It is not yet clear who will get the start in Monday night's game in Arizona, if Garcia is unable. Perhaps Michael Mimbs will get the nod. I'm hoping for LHP Bruce Ruffin. The Phillies will start their Monday night victory over the D-Backs approximately 40 minutes into 24.

Sox Win Rubber Game, Hamels on National TV

2007-05-06T19:44:00.000-04:00

The Sox lost a tough one Saturday night, 2-1 in Minnesota. The Sox had plenty of chances to score (12 LOB), but just couldn't get it done. Twins ace Johan Santana pitched just well enough to win-5 IP, 7 H, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K. The Twins vaunted bullpen shut out the Sox over the last 4 innings, not allowing a hit. It just wasn't the Sox' night. These kinds of losses will happen, occasionally, over a long season. (Unless you are the Phillies. In that case substitute "usually", for "occasionally.")

Batshit Crazy Julian Tavarez turned in an excellent performance, but still picked up his third loss in four decisions. He threw six innings, allowing only two earned runs, on four hits, and three walks. He struck out seven. Of the eighteen batters he retired, eleven were via the ground, and the other seven were strikeouts. He did not record a single out via the air. A bit unusual.

In additional disappointing news, Tavarez did not really demonstrate any of his patented Batshit behavior. (At least not that I observed.) There was some finger-pointing, as he directed his fielders to follow the correct sequence in recording outs on a double play. There was an interesting pickoff attempt at 2B, while intentionally walking a batter. But nothing that really stood out. At one point, I thought he had the hidden ball trick going on with Dustin Pedroia, but that was a false alarm. I'd like to see Tavarez try the hidden ball trick, without utilizing any teammates. I'm sure if anyone could pull it off, he could.

In Sunday's game, the Sox and Curt Schilling took a 4-0 lead into the 7th, and the bullpen of Okajima and Papelbon held on for a 4-3 win. I missed the game in its' entirety, so I don't really have anything useful to add. I intended to ignore the game, and then watch it after the Sunday night ESPN game, but the siren call of Gameday, and Amalie's Extra Bases Blog, was too strong. For a superb account of Papelbon's performance, look here. After reading that, I almost feel like I did see the Papelbonian brilliance that ended the game. Good stuff. The Sox only scored seven runs in the series, but still took 2 of 3. THAT'S what winning teams do, my reader(s).

In the ESPN Sunday night game, the Phillies and their ace, Cole Hamels, face the Giants, and rookie wunderkind Tim Lincecum. Lincecum, who looks extremely youthful in his Gameday picture, is in for a rude welcome to MLB. Perhaps even Chase Wright-rude.

This national TV performance could very well be the night that future HOF'er Cole Hamels becomes a household name. I expect him to finish with a complete game, 2 hit, 17 K, shutout. As well as solve that tricky global warming problem between innings. Go Phils!

Relieved

2007-05-05T19:34:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox won Friday night, 2-0 in Minnesota. Their 1st place lead was increased to 6.5 games. Tim Wakefield, despite feeling almost as sickly as Dustin Pedroia's slugging pct. (.230), pitched seven scoreless innings. David Ortiz hit a HR that would have probably landed in Milwaukee, had the stadium been less dome-y. Coco Crisp made a nice running catch in the kitchen goods aisle.

But the highlight of this game, as well as every other game, and in all likelihood, life itself, was Jonathan Papelbon. He has recovered quite nicely from the unfortunate events of the other night. You could tell before the game that he was in form. As Tina Cervasio did her pre-game interview with Amalie Benjamin (Amalie was rocking the hipster glasses again. Well-played, Amalie!), Jonathan was shenaniganzing in the background. He was jaunting in from the outfield with several
teammates, jawing excitedly, and waving his arms in a most animated and Papelbonian manner. If only we could have known what he was yammering about. (Reason #585858 that we need a Papelbon Channel, hosted by Amalie Benjamin.) I can only speculate that he was speaking about the early morning duck hunt, IN the Metrodome, he had to cheer up Mike Timlin. Closer Boy made quick work of the Twins in the 9th, picking up his 9th save. The Sox improved their MLB-best record to 19-9.

The Sox next face the Twins on Saturday night, with Batshit Crazy Julian Tavarez on the mound, opposed by Twins ace Johan Santana. A tough matchup, but Julian Tavarez has a decent chance for success tonight. Provided he is allowed to use his crossbow.

FOX

2007-05-05T18:51:00.000-04:00

Dear FOX Broadcasting Company,

I suppose I can understand that you decided to air the Yankees-Mariners game in this region, rather than the Giants-Phillies matchup. You've cancelled Firefly, you've cancelled Drive, and you air an episode of House approximately every 16 minutes. Your decisions don't necessarily intersect with that little thing called "sense." I considered showing you the results of my survey of baseball fans, which was both representative, and of sufficient sample size. (When asked if the Phillies game should be aired over the Yankees game in this region, nine of of ten respondents either replied, "Sure, Mike." or "(expletive deleted) the Yankees.") But if you believed in statistically valid research, I suspect FOX News Channel would be a very different place. (Actually, that was probably the kind of study you do. So scratch that last part.)

But, fine. You can make your decisions as you see fit. But it is really necessary to black out the other games on MLB.TV? For goodness sakes, you forced me to listen to the game ON THE RADIO. You cannot mute Gary Matthews, Sr. on the radio broadcast. When he informed us of inside baseball info, such as, "the tie goes to the runner", I had no choice but to hear it. That is just a taste of the pain that HE inflicted on me. Additionally, Harry Kalas when he gave his patented HR call, you could hear the excitement through my dinky little computer speaker. The excitement as Barry (string of expletives deleted) Bonds inched closer to Hank Aaron. I would not have had to endure that blasphemous call if I was watching the television broadcast. When Manager Charlie Manuel pinch-hit Ryan Howard for Pat Burrell, even though the entire universe (known and unknown) knew this would result in a counter-move by the Giants of bringing in a southpaw, I had nowhere to hide. When Manuel brought in Yoel Hernandez to make his major league debut in a one run game in the 8th inning, I had to listen as all was lost on a HR by Pedro Feliz. I couldn't watch the horror unfold. So, yes FOX, you managed to make being a Phillies fan more painful today. Much obliged.

In closing, I would be more than glad to buy your sponsors' products. But, by blacking out the broadcast, I do not actually know who they are. So, you just cost yourselves $42. Or, quite possibly, more. If you multiply that by the gajillion fans who would have preferred the Phillies game, you get a real big number. Ginormous, actually. Possibly even higher than Adam Eaton's ERA. But you're probably not listening. Too busy plotting to cancel 24 on me.

Kindest regards,
Mike

Winning isn't Everything...

2007-05-04T12:50:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox and Phillies both came out on the victorious ends of slugfests Thursday night.But the wins seemed a little "hollow" somehow. Not Wes Helms' batting average (BA: .316, SLG: .344) hollow. But quite possibly as hollow as J. C. Romero's 4.32 ERA, which doesn't seem THAT bad, until you observe that he pairs it with a woefully unimpressive 1.80 WHIP.

The Red Sox had an 8-7 come-from-behind victory over Seattle. Manny Ramirez was the offensive hero with a pair of HRs, including the 8th inning game-winner. Wily Mo Pena chipped in with a 4 for 4 performance, raising his BA from .172 to .273. The Sox bullpen was unscored upon in 4 innings of 1 hit, 3 walk work. But there were some concerns:

Daisuke Matsuzaka allowed 7 earned runs on 5 hits and 5 walks, in 5 innings. His ERA is approaching his salary. I'd like to be able to say that he has an aberrant BABIP, and that everything's going to be better soon. But it doesn't take a trip over to Baseball Prospectus.com to determine that walking the bases loaded could be problematic. He seems to usually have one really bad inning, and then pitch pretty well the rest of the game. He needs to quit it with the erraticness. The Sox need him to pitch to an ERA well under 5.45.
Julio Lugo is only batting .243, and slugging .330. Even if his fielding was Gonzalez-esque, these offensive stats would be a little low. But last night, his throws were all over the place, he randomly dove to his left for a ball hit right at him, and he dropped an easily-catchable popup. (I will, however, absolve him from blame for that play when he was screened on a grounder by baserunner Jose Guillen. Guillen was obviously in the crease, and that infield hit should have been waved off.) If Lugo is going to continue to be this deficient in the field, he better start doing some serious hitting. At least .800 OPS serious.
Manny Ramirez has been starting to heat up with the bat. But the running and the fielding- not a heckuva lot of heat there. He just doesn't seem too interested in such trivial matters. The Sox need to think outside the box, and come up with some creative solutions here. Manny doesn't necessarily like running after he hits the ball. Fine, let's get an automatic runner at the ready. When Manny puts the ball in play, if Manny wants to run bases, he can run bases. If he wants to simply admire the ball, fine. Put a telescope in the on-deck circle for him, and the automatic runner can run bases. Problem solved.
On defense, Manny likes to juggle his glove, examine the contents of his nose, pretty much just chill until it is time to go back to the dugout. While he might catch the ball better when juggling his glove, if the glove is flying in the air, the putout won't count. Them's the rules. Additionally, while foreign (Dominican, in this case) matter on the ball can't make Manuel Aristides' "throws" any worse, the internal fluid could adversely affect the throws of his teammates. The Sox need to divest him of his defensive responsibilities. Possibly, they could have him bat instead of Pedroia, still keep the Lil' Ruffian in the field, and have the Automatic Runner play LF. Or the 3rd base Ball Dude/Dudette could just have increased defensive responsibilities. They've already shown that they have superior range. The Sox should be talking to Selig about this ASAP.

I am NOT concerned about the fact that J. C. Romero and his .343 opponents' batting average came in for the save last night, while Closer Boy observed from the bullpen. Obviously, that was not the REAL Papelbon in the bullpen, but merely a clone. The REAL Papelbon was most certainly on a Jedi mission. Or representing MLB in an international cow-milking competition. Either way, I'm sure he took care of business, and will be closing out tonight's win.

The Phillies took a 9-2 lead last night in San Francisco, and held on for a 9-7 win over the Giants. Initially, I was in favor of their 10:15pm start time. It enabled me to watch the Sox game, and follow that up with the Phillies game. Quite convenient.
However, when they were still playing at 2am, I was no longer such a staunch advocate of the start time. I was so dazed I could have sworn that the Phillies Ace #1 Opening Day Starter was in for the save, facing the Giants' 5-6-7 hitters in a fierce typhoon. And that the Phillies Invincible Veteran Closer was outside my window, with Freddy Mercury, battling Ming the Merciless. Fortunately, The Evil Ming and the Evil Bonds were both defeated. (This was almost as weird as that dream where all of the Phillies were wearing #42. THAT was disconcerting!)

But some problems:

Phillies SP Adam Eaton was staked to a 9-2 lead. After the 6th inning the lead was down to 9-7. It would have been worse if Adam had been allowed to face more than 4 batters in the 6th, none of whom he managed to retire. His ERA increased from 7.71 to an even uglier 8.18. Even if he cuts that in half, it's still a bit on the high side.
Wes Helms was supposed to hit enough to overcome lackluster defense. That's just not happening. (The lackluster defense part is happening. The slugging part isn't.) Six XBH in 90 AB? All of the two-base variety? Not good. But not bad enough to lose time to No-Hit Nunez. Yet.
MVP Ryan Howard has a .774 OPS. He's batting .091 (1 for 11) in 3 May games. When will he start hitting?

The Phillies face the Giants in San Fran tonight, with Jamie Moyer (2.65 ERA) facing Matt Morris (3.34 ERA). There probably won't be 16 runs scored in this one.

The Sox are in Minnesota to face the Twins. Tim Wakefield (2.59 ERA) is oppoosed by former-Phillie Carlos Silva (3.10 ERA, but a 1.52 WHIP). The Sox are going to light Silva up.

Performance Enhancement

2007-05-03T17:39:00.000-04:00

Marty Miller was ill-at-ease. He had been the Yankees' Performance Enhancement Coach for only three months, and already there had been a string of injuries. Six of the top seven Yankee starting pitchers had missed time in the still-young season, not exactly a ringing endorsement for Miller's ability to enhance the team's performance.

As he sat alone, waiting for his meeting with The Boss, he tried to console himself with the fact that he had followed The Boss' directives. While he had never met The Boss, Miller had a somewhat checkered past, and this wouldn't be the first time he was called on the carpet for uneven results. He had some experience dealing with cloudy figures who pulled the strings from behind the scenes. But he had never before been responsible for the health of a $200 million organization, and he had heard many chilling stories of how The Boss had dealt with those who had failed him in the past. Tales of brutality that had never reached the public consciousness. Tales that he had only become aware of through the unusual channels. But he hoped that, by following orders, he had ensured his job security. As Miller pondered his fate, the receptionist interrupted his thoughts, instructing him to enter the conference room.

The conference room is somewhat spartan, with only four chairs and a long table. The walls are devoid of color, and there are no windows. At the head of the table sits The Boss, wearing a cloak that obscures his face. The only object on the table is a small telephone. Miller sits in a chair at the opposite side of the table. No one else is in the room.

TB: Tell me of Wang.
MM: He pulled a hamstring doing those start and stop sprints after a practice, as you instructed me to have him do.
TB: What of Pettitte?
MM: His injury occurred because he wasn't wearing the lifting belt, as per your request.
TB: And young Hughes?
MM: I thought we should have him stretch before the start, but you recommended that he didn't. To be honest, I didn't really think skipping the stretching was a good idea.
TB: You will find that it is you who are mistaken. About a great many things.
MM: Well, what about Rodriguez? He's been doing pretty well so far.
TB: Yes. Player of the Month.
MM: I got your instructions for his training regimen, but I didn't think it would work. So I used some of my own ideas. I'd say he was our greatest success.
TB: You will pay the price for your lack of vision.

The door opens. Ugueth Urbina enters, brandishing a large machete. He is accompanied by Carl Everett. Everett appears to be armed only with a nasty disposition. Miller glares at The Boss, his expression a mixture of recognition and abject terror.

TB: Fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.

Miller is forcibly removed from the room. The Boss speaks into the phone.

TB (into phone): Get me Radomski.

The Boss removes the hood from his head.

THEO EPSTEIN (to self): Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen...

Blown

2007-05-01T22:53:00.000-04:00

Jonathan Papelbon just blew a save. He gave up hits. HITS! There was a cheap 2-run HR. Even a walk. I can't believe what I just saw. It totally wasn't Jonathan's fault, however. Sure, when he entered in the 9th to get the final three outs, the Sox led 4-2. When the top of the 9th was over, the game was tied 4-4. Yes, he pitched the whole inning and gave up both runs. But there were extenuating circumstances. He had equipment problems with his athletic supporter, which adversely affected his velocity and control. There was a guy in the stands, between home plate and 3rd base, sporting a hideously bright orangey neon hat. That questionable attire choice was affecting Jonathan's ability to see the signs, and the plate. Only a pitcher of his caliber could overcome these obstacles to even get out of that inning with a tied game.

As Jonathan sat in the dugout, with his emotions running the gamut from despondence to intense rage, we both struggled on the steps to acceptance. I empathized with him as he slammed a water bottle and, later, his glove, against the ground. He raged in the dugout, frustrated at himself for being only 99.99999% perfect. I raged at the fans, as many of them smiled and chatted in the stands. "THIS IS NOT A JOVIAL TIME! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!",I shouted at my TV. Brendan Donnelly came on in the 10th, and blew the tie. He can see the future with his glasses, but that knowledge did not help him avoid his destiny.

As the Sox batted in the bottom of the 10th, some of the fans were still enjoying their time at the ballpark, yapping on their damn cell phones. But others, like me, were intensely focused on the game, still hopeful of a Sox victory. The Sox failed to score, however, with the game ending on a long fly off the bat of Kevin Youkilis that died just short of The Monster. A little duck tail-sized piece of Jonathan Robert Papelbon may have died tonight also. As well as the dream of a 0.00 season ERA.

I'd like to drive down to the ballpark right now to cheer up poor Paps. I'd let him vent for awhile, then we'd play a game or two of Yahtzee. That always makes him feel better after a blown save. Or it did that one other time he had a blown save. But I am still banned from the Sox clubhouse. Even though nothing was ever proven. So, I'll just have to hope he is OK.

(Note: The following paragraph is where an ignorant blogger prattles on, clearly demonstrating his stupidity. You can go ahead and skip it, if you wish. Thanks for the heads up, Beth.)

Curt Schilling pitched well tonight, allowing only two runs over seven innings. His ERA is now a spiffy 3.15. But there is a concern that needs to be addressed. CURTIS MONTAGUE. Was it really necessary to write a comment on your shoe, referencing last week's "Sock-gate?" Let it go, Curt. Everyone knows it was blood. You got the last word on your blog. (Probably the last 1500 words, actually.) Just move along. You're a tremendous pitcher, and a prolific blogger, but this kind of crap just detracts from your rep and your Wikipedia page. Quit it.

Don Orsillo made a fashion faux pas of a serious nature with his clothing selections, and Jerry Remy let him have it. The Remdawg inquired as to whether Don had been shopping off the clearance rack, let Don know that he was "ready for Ft. Lauderdale", and asked him when his "shuffleboard time" was. Good stuff. Tina Cervasio should have gotten Neon Hat Guy to weigh in with his views on that topic. Alas, she did not. Just another reason Amalie Benjamin should be handling that role.

Finally, a Sox Ball Dude played a ball that was in fair territory, gifting the Athletics with a ground-rule double. Later, a foul ball went down the LF line, where a new Sox Ball Dudette opted not to play the ball. She even refrained from retrieving the ball, forcing the 3B umpire to go down and get it. (Manny was on nap time at that point, apparently.) She seemed fearful of being involved with the ball in any manner. Perhaps she didn't want to share the same fate as the Ball Dude who preceded her. But what was his fate? Was he released into the Fens to fare for himself? Is he hanging in effigy from the Green Monster right now, alongside Neon Hat Guy? We may never know. (Well, unless good ol' Amalie blogs about it.)

Just a Dream...

2007-05-01T00:29:00.000-04:00

"Once there was a boy back in time of the heathens.

Day after day, he just kept dreaming things that would make him weaker.

His father could not make him see, that there is more than dreams.

But he wouldn't listen to the words of his father, 'cause he's a little dreamer."

-"Little Dreamer", ENSIFERUM

I had an Iain-esque game watching streak going for awhile. In the 1st month of the season, I only missed three or four Phillies or Red Sox games. But Sunday, both teams had games at 1pm, and I was unable to watch them. It was too nice of a day for yachting to pass up. I cruised the seas on the Papelbon for most of the day.

I returned to the 'Ville that night, securing my boat in majestic Somerville Harbor, conveniently located near the DPW. I put the archived Phillies game on MLB.TV, intending to watch from the beginning. I would then watch the Sox game on NESN, at midnight. It seemed a foolproof plan. Until I fell asleep during the top of the 1st inning of the Phillies game.

I dreamt of a 44 yr. old SP named Jamie throwing no-hit inning after no-hit inning. Of a former ace starter putting out a fire as a reliever. My dreams turned Papelbonian, as I dreamt of young Jonathan, slaughterer of ducks, milker of cows. I dreamt of yet another scoreless inning, for a save against the MFYankees. My dreams then turned pigskin, as I envisioned the Philly Eagles drafting a QB with their 1st pick. (This was a bit on the unbelievable side, as the Iggles have too many holes at other positions. Right?) I dreamed of the New England Patriots acquiring Randy Moss. I awoke with a start.

But now that I think about it, the Moss move could totally work for the Patriots. It has the potential to be every bit as effective as the Terrell Owens acquisition has been for the Philly Eagles. The past few seasons with T.O. on the Eagles roster have been nothing short of magical.

Three 1500 yd., 18+ TD seasons. The three Super Bowl MVPs. The leadership T.O. has displayed, perhaps best exemplified by when he refused to accept the Super Bowl MVP award, unless he was named co-MVP with QB Donovan McNabb. The famous T.O. Wedding, with McNabb and Hugh Douglas as co-Best Men. The PSAs against drug abuse. His yearly gig as host of the Wing Bowl. The work with Chase Utley on fixing that Global Warming problem.

T.O. had a bit of a bad rap before he came to Philly. Randy Moss could be the same way with the Patriots.

The Red Sox had on off-day Monday. The Phillies played the Braves, and got only 4 hits against Tim Hudson, in a 5-2 loss. Jon Lieber gave up only 2 runs (1 ER) over seven innings, but allowed 7 hits and 6 (!) walks. Donut-Eater was ineffectively effective, But the Braves' Andruw Jones hit a 3 run walk-off HR in the 9th off the Phils' Antonio Alfonseca. I wish I had slept through that.

Both the Sox and Phillies are back in action Tuesday. I have a training seminar in an exotic locale (Beverly, Massachusetts!) on Tuesday, but I won't be missing either of the two teams' Tuesday night wins.

Had a bad day...

2007-04-28T23:29:00.000-04:00

I was very optimistic about both the Phillies and the Red Sox today.
They have both been playing extremely well, and their respective opponents seemed ripe for the picking.

Well, so much for the optimism. Both teams had their chances to win, but just couldn't get it done. Two games, two losses.

The Sox played at 3:55pm, with Tim Wakefield facing the Yanks' Jeff Karstens (14.05 ERA). The Sox' top of the 1st lasted approximately 86 years, and they knocked Karstens out of the game.When Karstens left the game, his ERA was still 14.05. Sounds promising, right?

Well, as Borat would say, it was NOT promising. Karstens got smashed with a Julio Lugo line drive on his 1st pitch, fracturing his right fibula. He stayed in the game, and five pitches later, he allowed a single to Kevin Youkilis. That was the last batter he faced. The Yankees brought in Kei Igawa (7.84 ERA, ticket to AAA Scranton (Go Greyhound!) likely waiting for him in his locker), and it looked like it was about to be another huge inning, and quite possibly, another huge win. But the Japanese southpaw, acquired via the posting system for a pittance ($26 million), got out of the inning without allowing a run. Then he managed to get out of the next five innings without allowing a run. All while randomly wearing sunglasses. The Yankees had attempted to skip him in the rotation, but he wound up pitching six scoreless innings, and picking his second win of the season. I'm guessing he won't be skipped next time. I wonder if he wears his sunglasses at night? (Sorry. Couldn't help myself...)

Tim Wakefield wasn't very effective, pitching 5.1 innings, and allowing 3 ER on 5 hits and 6 (!) walks. His ERA rose from 2.08 to 2.59, and the loss dropped his record to 2-3. It seemed certain that the Sox would come back to win, against Igawa, or the over-worked Yankees bullpen, or the venerable closer with the ERA of 12.15. But they were held to one measly run, with the venerable closer (Mariano Rivera) picking up his 1st save of the season, and lowering his ERA to 10.57. (Which is, incidentally, still 10.57 higher than the Sox not-venerable closer.) The Sox were held to 7 hits, with Ortiz-Ramirez-Drew combining to go 0 for 9. The game was on FOX, so there was no Remdawg. Or Don. Or Tina. Or Kathryn. Or Amalie. I missed them all. So, it was pretty much a day with no sun for the Sox. Actually, I think only Igawa noticed the sun today. (Note to self: Stop beating sunglasses metaphor to a red painty death.)

The Phillies 7:05pm game was, quite possibly, worse. The lineup included Rod Barajas AND Abe Nunez, which didn't seem to bode well from the start. (Of course, the two went 4 for 7 with a Barajas HR, so I obviously know nothing.) However, SP Adam Eaton earned about 24.5 cents of his $24.5 million contract, allowing 7 ER on 10 hits in 4.1 extremely ineffective innings. Reliever Victor Rosario allowed 3 ER in 1.2 innings, digging too deep of a hole for the Phillies bats to escape. Leadoff hitter (!) Aaron Rowand extended his hitting streak to 16 games, and 3-hole (!) hitter Jimmy Rollins had a pair of hits. They seemed one swing away from a huge inning most of the night, but they didn't manage to get that swing. The Phillies broadcasters bored and irritated me, and once again, there was no Amalie. The games pretty much sucked today. But they'll get'em tomorrow.

The Phillies will try to win the rubber game of the series, with Jamie Moyer facing the Marlins' Wes Obermueller. I think that matchup definitely favors the Phillies, especially with the Phillies playing at home. And with Adam Eaton and Freddy Garcia both unavailable to "pitch."
The Sox send Batshit Crazy Julian Tavarez to the mound against Yankees ace, Chien-Ming Wang, who is coming off an injury, and has only one regular season start so far. But Wang is still kind of "ace-y." This could be a tough one for the Sox. But at least we'll have Remdawg, Don, Kathryn, and Amalie back. That should be enough to make the difference.

Had a good day...

2007-04-28T20:07:00.000-04:00

Two more good things from Friday:

Jon Lester pitched brilliantly in a rehab start for Pawtucket, pitching five scoreless innings. Lester only allowed three hits, and only two runners made it to second base against him. Lester struck out six, walked no one, and threw 56 of 84 pitches for strikes. He has another rehab start on Wednesday, and doesn't look very far away from taking Batshit's spot in the Red Sox rotation. That would upgrade the rotation and increase the probability of Batshit Crazy episodes.

In exciting news of a personal nature, I got my annual bonus check on Friday. After a year of putting up Papelbon-esque stats, highlighted by an otherworldly VORM (Value Over Replacement Manager), my team was rewarded. I bled enough red paint to fill a pair of sanitary socks over the past year, so I think I earned it. I believe I will purchase a second yacht, so I am not stuck using the same yacht all the time. Who wants that? My first yacht is named the Papelbon, this one will be named the Hamels. The balance of the bonus will be put into mutual funds and CDs.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

2007-04-28T01:01:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox won their 3rd straight game tonight, 11-4 over the slumping Yankees. The Yankees have now lost seven straight, and sport an 8-13 record. They are the highest paid last place team in history right now, and they are not exactly showing a lot of life.

Daisuke Matsuzaka allowed 4 runs (all in the 4th inning), throwing 117 pitches over 6 innings. He seems to have problems in the 4th inning each game, but is very effective in the other innings. As soon as I devise a way of combatting this concern, without losing the DH for the remainder of the game, I will let Francona know. But I have nothing, as of yet. Timlin, Okajima, and Pineiro each pitched a scoreless inning of relief. Youkilis and Lugo each homered, as the Sox overcame an early 4-2 deficit, taking a 7-4 lead into the top of the 9th.

By the 9th inning, the game seemed pretty much over. With Papelbon warming up, there was no way the Yankees were coming back. But the Sox didn't need Papelbon, after scoring four runs in the 9th off Yankees closer Mariano Rivera. The All-Star closer was only able to record one out, as his ERA rose to 12.15. Rivera does not look too good these days, especially against the Sox. It might be the beginning of the end for a sensational career.

The best line of the night (non-Amalie Division) goes to Jerry Remy, who was frustrated by the inability of Yanks C Jorge Posada and RP Jose Vizcaino to figure out what pitch to throw, even though Vizcaino throws only two different pitches. I forget the exact line (should have been taking notes!), but Remy and Orsillo were cracking me up repeatedly tonight, as usual. (Update: Papel-blog remembered the quote: "So now we get to see Vizcaino not be on the same page as Posada maybe three or four more times." Tip of the Sox cap to Papel-blog!)
Amalie was awesome in her pre-game segment, but, inexplicably, still doesn't have her own NESN show.

The attendance was 55,000, but by the 9th inning there were seas of empty seats. I feel a little bad for the Yanks fans who stayed until the end, but for the 50,000 "fans" who left before the game was over, not so much. The Yanks still have an outstanding lineup, but unless they get some serious pitching help somehow, they're going to spend to rest of the season on their deathbed.

In Saturday's Fox matinee game, the Sox' Tim Wakefield (2.08 ERA) will oppose the Yankees' Jeff Karstens (14.54 ERA). It was originally the Yankees' Kei Igawa's day to start, but he has been pulled from the New York rotation, due to ineffectiveness. (I guess that's what happens who you go for the cheap Japanese free agent pitcher.) Saturday will be a prime opportunity for the Sox to drive another nail into the Yankees' coffin, in front of a national audience. Go Sox!

Do not go gentle into that good night

2007-04-28T00:19:00.000-04:00

After five innings, the Phillies trailed 4-3 to the Florida Marlins, despite another HR (5) by Aaron Rowand (4 for 5). Starting Pitcher Freddy Garcia had not been effective, allowing 4 ER over 4.2 innings, throwing 106 pitches. Yet, I was unconcerned. I was certain the Phillies would come back for the win. Well, just as soon as they stopped leaving runners on base (15 H, 14 LOB tonight).

When the game went to the bottom of the 8th, with the Phils still trailing 4-3, I got a little concerned. But Jimmy Rollins (9!) and Chase Utley (5) hit solo homers, staking the Phils to a 5-4 lead. Unfortunately, Tom Gordon (5.40 ERA) came on for the blown save in the 9th, and was lucky to escape the inning with the score tied at 5. Gordon is currently behind Myers, Madson, Alfonseca, Geary, Wally Ritchie, and Todd Frohwirth (not necessarily in that order) on the list of relievers that I would prefer to see close out a Phillies win. With three blown saves already this season, Gordon seems destined to lose his spot at closer. I just hope he's removed from the role before he costs the Phillies any more wins.

But tonight, he didn't cost the Phils a win. Despite the fact that Michael Bourn led off the bottom of the 9th (because Manuel continues replace Burrell with Bourn, for the purpose of pissing me off), the Phillies rallied for the victory. They loaded the bases on a Bourn walk, a Rowand single, and an error on a Helms sacrifice bunt attempt. Against the drawn-in Marlins infield, Carlos Ruiz hit a hard grounder that SS Hanley Ramirez did well to stop, but had no chance at a play at the plate. Bourn scored the winning run, and the Phillies improved their record to 10-12.

The Phillies will look to pull within one game of the .500 mark Saturday night, with Adam Eaton facing the Marlins' Dontrelle Willis. Aaron Rowand will look to extend his hitting streak to 16 games. The Phillies will look to score enough runs that Tom Gordon will not be needed.

He Runs on Grass, He Walks on Dirt. And Water.

2007-04-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox swept their two game series against Baltimore with a come-from-behind victory in Camden Yards tonight. The Sox had a 5-2 lead, going into the bottom of the 9th, and Closer Boy ran/walked in from the bullpen to pitch a scoreless inning for the save. Jonathan never gives up runs in April- I don't know why they even bothered to play the bottom of the 9th. It's probably some kind of arcane MLB rule. (Like the "don't give champagne to the Kansas City Royals rule.")

But Papelbon wasn't the big story tonight. (I was just trying to kind of link to my post title, which I am a bit proud of. It may even be "Benjamin-esque." Also, "arcane" is totally a word that Amalie would use. OK. AB Fanboy mode off.)

Josh Beckett was brilliant tonight, pitching eight sterling innings, in which he allowed two runs on eight hits and ZERO walks. He threw 73 of his 100 pitches for strikes. (That trade with the Marlins doesn't look quite so bad right now.) Beckett became only the 4th Sox P to start the season 5-0, joining Babe Ruth, Pedro Martinez, and Matt Young.

The hero on offense was another questionable trade acquisition, Wily Mo Pena. (Note: I was in favor of both the Pena and Beckett trades, and, yes, I have been taunted in an unkind manner in the past as a result.) The bulky CF lugged his sub-.180 batting average to the plate with one out and the bases loaded in the 8th inning against Orioles closer Chris Ray. The Sox trailed at the time, 2-1.

This blogger was yearning for a right-handed pinch-hitter. (Yes, I know WMP IS RH. Bear with me here.) A single would have given the Sox the lead, a sacrifice fly would have tied the game. The worst results would have probably been a strike out or a DP, two of WMP's specialties. But the best RH option off the bench was Doug Mirabelli, who needed to be reserved, in case Varitek was injured, or Wakefield was brought on to pitch the 26th inning. So Francona allowed Pena to bat, and Pena hit a 900 ft. grand slam to give the Sox a 5-2 lead. (And if you believe the HR was 900 ft., you probably also believed that Matt Young stat a paragraph ago. But it was a 420 ft. blast.)

Ray was having trouble getting his off-speed stuff over the plate, tried to throw a fastball past Pena, and Wily Mo made him pay for his insolence. Now, if only Pena could do that to non-fastballs. Then, the Sox would have themselves a player. After that, we could start teaching him to play guitar like Bronson. I would very much like to see WMP perform "C is for Cookie" one day. But the batting and the fielding are the priorities right now.

The Sox play the Yankees in New York this weekend, hoping to replicate their excellence of last weekend against the Yanks. Daisuke Matsuzaka (2-2, 4.00 ERA) will start Friday night, facing Hideki Matsui for the first time in regular season action. As Jerry Remy said, "there should be some media there for that." Matsuzaka will be opposed by Game 1 losing pitcher Andy Pettitte (1-0, 1.78 ERA), who will also be available out of the bullpen in this Sunday's loss to the Sox. The first place Sox currently have a five and a half game lead over the cellar-dwelling Yankees.

Red Sox and Red Paint

2007-04-26T18:52:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox returned to action Wednesday night after their sweep of the Yankees with a 6-1 win over the Orioles at Camden Yards. (I saw some strange reports on about something going on between the Sox and Blue Jays the last couple of days- something about Lowell hitting HRs and making errors, Ramirez throwing like the Mayor of Cincinnati, Wily Mo not being so good at the fielding- but Doug Mirabelli assures me it was all a hoax.)

Schilling raised his record to 3-1, with 7 innings of 1 run ball. Alex Cora raised his average to .368, going 2-4 with his 1st HR of the year. (Lil' Dustin, grab some pine!) Wily Mo Pena went 0-4, with 3 Ks. It seems like he would be well-served with some time in Pawtucket, working on his "fielding" and hitting the off-speed pitch. (Sometimes I can't believe I was actually in favor of trading Bronson for this guy. I miss Bronson. I'm guessing the Sox do, as well.) First baseman Kevin Youkilis and Author David Ortix each had multiple hit games in the win.

Sox announcer Jerry Remy had some interesting comments about the $41 million the Orioles spent to stock their bullpen in the offseason. I agree that it is very questionable to make such a sizeable investment in relievers, as their year-to-year performances can fluctuate wildly. (See Cormier, Rheal.) But Chad Bradford (1.04 ERA) and Jamie Walker (2.00 ERA) have been extremely consistent the past five years, and represent pretty good investments, especially considering the high price of free agent pitching these days. It was better for Baltimore to spend the $ upgrading their bullpen, than to hold on to it and tell their fanbase that there was no good pitching to be had. Of course, the Orioles seem pretty much destined for a 4th place finish, no matter how their pitching performs.

The most sensational comment by an announcer last night, however, was the assertion by Orioles knowledge broker Gary Thorne that Schilling's sock in 2004 was not bloody, but actually painted red. He attributed this information to Doug Mirabelli. (Yikes. What's next? 9/11 was a conspiracy? The heroic rescue of Jessica Lynch was a hoax? The Sox didn't have the last 2 nights off?)
Poor Dougie. He was not too pleased with being credited with this "story." But what I want to know is what does Amalie Benjamin think about all this? More importantly, why doesn't she have her own show? Or better, her own channel? With all the talk of conspiracies and hoaxes, I would like to hear, at length, her views on these things. NESN, are you listening? Amalie and Jonathan both need their own shows. At least 2 hours in length each. Daily. Please get on that.
NOW.

The Sox go for their 2nd consecutive win tonight, sending Josh Beckett to the mound in Baltimore. I think if Julio Lugo gets screwed by the umps again, some red paint may be drawn. Tavarez and his crossbow are ready. Buenos noches, amigos!

Cancelled

2007-04-26T00:36:00.000-04:00

There are not too many TV shows (non-sports division) that I watch on a regular basis. The Office is probably my favorite. There is also 30 Rock. And, of course, 24. That's pretty much my whole list.

Recently, I discovered a new show on Fox, Mondays at 8pm, right before 24. "Drive" is a show about an illegal cross-country race for a prize of $32 million. It has a delightful blend of story-telling, sarcasm, and violence. I was looking forward to seeing the story play out, and the tale had already taken a number of unpredictable turns. Good stuff.

Naturally, Fox cancelled it after 3 episodes. Yes, three fucking episodes. That would have been like the Red Sox cancelling Jonathan Papelbon after he was the losing pitcher on August 27, 2005. Or the Phillies cancelling their 2007 World Championship season before the 18 game winning streak that started with a team meeting on a Saturday in April. Just inexplicable asshattery of the first order. What's next? Charlie Manuel makes Brett Myers a gajillion $ setup man?

This whole situation sounds vaguely familiar...

Bow Down (or, The Anatomy of a Sweep)

2007-04-23T17:45:00.000-04:00

"I'd rather die than give you control.
Bow down before the one you serve,
You're going to get what you deserve."
-"Head Like a Hole", NIN.

When I saw the pitching matchups for the Red Sox' three game weekend series against the Yankees, I thought Boston had a good shot at two wins, or perhaps even a sweep. With Schilling, Beckett, and Matsuzaka slated to pitch against NY, there was plenty of cause for optimism. If you had told me the three aces would pitch to an ERA over 6.00 in the series, I would have figured Beckett got bombed, and the Sox won the other two games. (Yep. Still with the optimism.) I never would have figured the Sox would sweep under those circumstances. But sweep they did, in a fairly convincing fashion. Allow me to expound.

Game 1
The Sox set a ferocious tone early with the National Anthem performed by Tiger Okoshi, courtesy of Berklee. The anthem was jazzy, Japanese-y, and quite a bit on the frenzied side. Unfortunately, when the actual game started, the Sox fell behind early. Alex Rodriguez slammed two HR's, the 2nd of which sent Sox CF Coco Crisp tumbling over the wall into the bullpen. (I blame the scouting reports for that. Coco should have been positioned in the bullpen to begin with.) Schilling allowed 5 ER in 7 IP. The Sox trailed 6-2, entering the bottom of the 8th. But the Sox put up five runs in the 8th, two of which were charged to the Yanks venerable closer, Mariano Rivera. (Rivera was coming off four days of rest, after allowing a walkoff HR to Oakland's Marco Scutaro. Yes. THE Marco Scutaro.)
Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon had pitched the last two days, so was not available* to close the game. Concerned? How do you say, "No worries, mate!" in Japanese? Hideki Okajima pitched the 9th, saving the win. (*Note: Papelbon is a damn Jedi. Obviously, if the Sox had needed him for a batter or two, he would have come in and shut down the Yanks.)
Also worthy of note was the interaction between Daisuke Matsuzaka and Julian Tavarez in the Sox dugout, while Okajima picked up the save. There has been much speculation in the blogosphere on their topic of conversation. The crack linguistics team I have on retainer analyzed the tape, and came to the following conclusion. Matsuzaka was inviting Tavarez for Popeye's chicken after the game, and Tavarez was calling dibs for the crossbow, in the event of a brawl. Hope that cleared things up.

Game 2
The second game featured Josh Beckett starting against the Yanks' Jeff Karstens. The Yanks jumped ahead 2-0 in the top of the 1st inning, but the Sox countered with two of their own in the bottom of the inning. In the 2nd, the Yanks picked up two more, but the Sox immediately tied the game at 4 in the bottom of the frame. A pitcher's duel it was not.
But Beckett settled down after the first two innings, only allowing one additional run (unearned), in 6.2 innings. Karstens, on the other hand, got bombed for three more runs in the 4th, as the Sox opened up a 7-4 lead. Karstens finished the day with a season ERA of 14.54.
DH/Author David Ortiz did the bulk of the damage in the 4th, with a two-run HR.
The Sox took a 7-5 lead into the 9th, and Papelbon closed the door with yet another scoreless inning of relief. It was Papelbon's 5th save in as many chances. The Yanks stood about as good of a chance as the ducks and moose do against the indomitable stopper.

Game 3
Daisuke Matsuzaka started the 3rd game, opposed by the Yanks' Chase Wright, a starter in AA ball two weeks ago. The Yanks, again, jumped ahead early. They took a 3-0 lead after their half of the 3rd inning against the Gazillion Yen Man. It didn't seem likely that the Sox could come from behind again.
I was driving home, listening to the game on the radio, as the Sox batted in the bottom of the 3rd. With 2 outs, and Ramirez batting, I entered scenic Somerville, MA. Ramirez quickly slammed his second HR of the season. As I proceeded down Broadway, J. D. Drew followed with another HR. Obviously, my driving around Somerville was having a beneficial effect on the Sox' bats. Fortunately for the Sox, my return home was slowed by a steady procession of Red (Sox?) lights. Mike Lowell hit the 3rd consecutive HR. I could feel the roaring fans all the way from Fenway Park. (Note to self: Take car in for Maintenance. Soon.)
As Varitek batted, it was obvious that I needed to continue driving around Somerville until the Sox ceased hitting home runs. THEN VARITEK HOMERED!! The streets PULSED, opening up large chasms in the concrete. The planet's rotation was changed. I swerved to avoid plunging through a hole to the center of the Earth.
That fourth HR clinched it for me- I had a full tank of hideously expensive gas, and I'd be driving within the friendly confines of Somerville until the Sox HR streak stopped. IF it stopped. (My Honda Accord gets EXCELLENT mileage- I was in this for the long haul!)
Wily Mo Pena, however, failed to hit a HR. The historic streak ended at four, with the Sox taking a 4-3 lead. I elected to watch the remainder of the game at home, despite the Sox' 3.200 slugging percentage while I drove around.
After that, there was just no way that the Sox were going to lose. The Yanks scored the next two runs, taking a 5-4 lead into the bottom of the 7th. But Mike Lowell hit his 2nd HR of the game, a 3 run shot that game Boston a 7-5 lead. The Yanks closed to within 7-6 in the 8th. Matsuzaka's line was 7 IP, 6 ER. But Matsuzaka got his 2nd win of the season when Papelbon closed out the Yanks, and the series, with another scoreless 9th inning. The sweep was complete.

The next morning, as I parked my vehicle at work, I noticed the car of one of my esteemed colleagues. His car usually stands out, as a result of the large Yankee flag typically hung in the back seat.
However, the Yankee flag was conspicuously absent this morning. In its place was a sizeable Red Sox one. Symbolic of his foolishness to wager against the brilliance of the 2007 Boston Red Sox.
All is right in Red Sox Nation.

Masters of the Universe

2007-04-21T23:24:00.000-04:00

"In a world with the darkest powers,
And here we are, we're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We've come to be the rulers of you all."
-"Princes of the Universe", QUEEN

The Philadelphia Kixx played the Detroit Ignition Saturday for the 2007 MISL Championship. Of course it was pretty obvious who was going to win this game before it started. Seriously, Philadelphia: City of Champions versus Detroit: City of (Crime?). The team with a coach on the bench, dressed quite dapperly, or the team with the coach leading ON THE FIELD? The team that didn't exist when the 2006 MISL Championship was contested, or the team that has been UNBEATABLE since I bought one of their hats? (The answers are A, B, B, if you are scoring at home.)

The Kixx scored first, on a goal by player-coach Don D'Ambra, and roared to an eight point lead. Stocky "bull in a china shop" forward Shawn Boney scored a skillful goal with a nifty back heel from right in front of goal. Defender of the Year Genoni Martinez, who looks exactly like the drummer for Dream Theater, scored on a penalty kick. When Detroit pulled to within 2 points, D'Ambra scored a 3 pointer from near midfield. All-Universe GK Peter Pappas did the rest with a number of stunning saves.

The game was delayed for a bit, when the ball hit a net full of balloons suspended over the field. I thought I was watching a Red Sox game in Tampa Bay for awhile, especially when one of the announcers indicated that the officials were going to handle the balloon situation with a bunch of darts. (I am certain that Don Orsillo would have said that.) Inexplicably, the balloon problem did not make the game story. It was certainly a highlight for this blogger.

The Kixx hung on for a 13-8 victory, securing the 2nd MISL title in their 11 year history. My next Kixx hat will be a "2007 Champions" one.

1st place Sox win again!

2007-04-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

It didn't look like a promising matchup for the Sox in the rubber game of their 3 game series in Toronto. Red Sox SP Julian Tavarez, more known for his batshit behavior than his pitching proficiency, had not pitched for 12 days. He was opposed by Jays ace Roy Halladay, perennial Cy Young award winner, who was coming off a brilliant 10 inning complete game victory against Detroit. I didn't expect a Sox win under these circumstances, I merely hoped for some crazy antics from Tavarez, and perhaps an Amalie Benjamin appearance or two.

Julian displayed his usual bizarre mannerisms, but no particularly noteworthy crazy batshit stuff. There were no Amalie sightings, but I may have been distracted by the Phillies concurrent win over the Nats, and missed her. (Curses!) I will need to be more diligent in the future.

On the plus side, however, the Sox won! Batshit pitched only adequately (5.1 IP, 3 ER), but the Sox bullpenners (Pineiro, Romero, Timlin, PAPELBON!!) shut out the Jays for the final 3.2 innnings. Timlin allowed a hit and a walk in his shutout inning, but got out of the jam, showing the same ferocious determination he likely displays on the Killing Swamps of the South, in his excursions with his young sidekick, Closer Boy. Jonathan Papelbon came in to save the win in the 9th, walking 1 and whiffing 2 in another shutout inning by the ace closer. Papelbon has just been incredible this season. Papelbon's pitching line is 5.1 IP 1 H 0 ER 2 BB 11 K (!!!) so far this season. These numbers are as insane as his offseason hunting statistics. He has a .56 WHIP and a 18.56 K/9. When he enters the game, the opposing team can pretty much abandon all hope.

The Sox, despite their strong bullpen performance, still trailed Roy Halladay and the Jays by a 3-1 score, entering the 8th. Coco Crisp, who went 2-4 to raise his average to .167, started the inning with his 2nd bunt single of the game. Halladay retired Kevin Youkilis for the 1st out, but Jays Manager John Gibbons opted to remove his ace starter, bringing in southpaw reliever Scott Downs to face David Ortiz. Downs retired the Sox slugger on strikes for the 2nd out. Gibbons then opted to bring in reliever Shawn Marcum to face a slumping Manny Ramirez. That move backfired quite badly, as Manny tied the game with his 1st HR (finally!) of the season. Gibbons probably should have kept Halladay, who had thrown only 95 pitches, in the game. Alex Cora, starting at SS for Julio Lugo, saved Timlin in the bottom of the 8th, by turning two despite the attempt by burly Jays 1B (6' 2", 235 lbs) Lyle Overbay to break up the DP. Cora then tripled in the 9th off Jays closer Jason Frasor, keying the 2 run rally that help clinch the 5-3 win.

Now would be an opportune time for Manny Ramirez to heat up, with the Sox playing a 3 game series at home against the archrival Yankees this weekend. The pitching matchups (Schilling v. Pettitte, Beckett v. Karstens, Matsuzaka v. Chase Wright) seem to favor the 1st place Sox- I think 2 wins this weekend is quite possible. Go Sox!

Bulletholes where my compassion used to be...

2007-04-19T01:26:00.000-04:00

It has been a strange couple of days in Phillies Nation. By "strange", I pretty much mean "horrifyingly bad." On Tuesday night, there was a lifeless 8-1 loss to the Mets. The game almost had the feeling of a spring training game, at least in terms of (lack of) effort. Or maybe a simulated rehab start for SP Freddy Garcia, in that he seemed to be pitching towards a pre-determined pitch count, and would remain in the game regardless of the results. Well, the results were pretty ugly.

Even more ugly was what transpired after the game. Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel took offense to the questions offered by radio personality Howard Eskin, and challenged Eskin to a fight. Perhaps Manuel dislikes being referred to as "Elmer Befuddled." A heated confrontation between the two in Manuel's office followed, with the two needing to be separated by media members and players. I guess it was good to see some life from the Phillies organization, but that was not exactly what the Phans were looking for.

Wednesday brought the announcement of the moving of Brett Myers to the bullpen. You may remember him from way back in the day (2 weeks ago) when he was the Phillies #1 starter and pitched effectively in the Phillies opener. After 2 consecutive seasons of 200 IP, double digit wins, and a sub 4.00 ERA, Myers seemed primed for a breakout season. Now after 3 starts (1 good, 2 bad), he will be pitching in the later innings as a setup man. Inexplicable. Hopefully, this will be an extremely short term move. Because it really, really sucks. For serious.

The Wednesday night matchup against the woeful Washington Nationals featured the Phillies mediocre SP Adam Eaton against Nats neophyte SP Jason Bergmann. The loser would have sole possession of last place in the NL. The game progressed typically for a Phillies Eaton start. After 6 innings, the Phillies trailed 4-1, and were making Bergmann look good.

As I was sick of the Nationals announcing team, and the Phillies' losing ways, I tried to mix things up a little bit to help the Phillies comeback chances. I put the new Nine Inch Nails release "Year Zero" on, streaming it out of the same speaker as the MLB.TV Phillies broadcast. The dissonance of NIN pretty much blocked out the soporific Nats announcers. It also seemed to rouse the somnambulant Phillies. They rallied for 2 runs in the 7th, and Geoff Geary and Brett Myers (Serenity now!) shut down the Nats for the next 2 frames. The Phillies batted in the 9th against Nats closer Chad Cordero (2.33 WHIP entering the game), trailing 4-3.

They managed to tie the game, but they should have taken a lead. Pat Burrell lead of with a single, and OF Michael Bourn replaced him as a pinch runner. (Serenity now!) After a Rowand single put runners on 1st and 2nd, with no out, Manuel opted to play for the tie, and sacrificed. I am against the sacrifice in most cases, as it significantly reduces your scoring expectancy. In this case, in the 9th inning of a tie game on the road, I found the decision extremely unappetizing. Well, Charlie got the one run he wanted, but Pat Burrell (the Phils best bat) was (AGAIN!) out of the game, and the Nats had a chance to win in the bottom of the inning.

The game wound up going into the 13th inning, with Bourn going 0 for 2 in Burrell's spot in the lineup, #1 SP Cole Hamels walking as a pinch hitter, the Phillies going 1-11 with RISP in the game, and getting effective relief from Ryan Madson and Antonio Alfonseca. But another egregious error made by Manuel earlier in the game came back to haunt the Phillies.
Nats bench player Michael Restovich was in the on deck circle when Manuel made a pitching change earlier in the game. However, Manuel did NOT wait until Restovich was announced as a pinch hitter before making the change. The Nats pulled Restovich back, and inserted a different PH. Innings later, when the Nats announcers revealed this folly (during the chorus of "Meet your Master" - "This is your disaster, Countdown to the End", disturbingly foreboding lyrics), I knew that Manuel Mistake could very well come back to haunt the Phillies. Sure enough, Restovich had a big hit in the 13th, when the Phillies blew the game, losing 5-4. The Phillies are now 3-10, the worst record in MLB.

After Wednesday's debacles, I am officially ready for Charlie Manuel to be fired. I am sick of the downward spiral. I am sick of the Phillies losing games with Pat Burrell conceding late-inning ABs to minor leaguer Michael Bourn (.125 avg.). I am sick of idiotic bunting and baserunning and losing games because of stupid and/or inexplicable managing. Every day is exactly the same. It's time for a new regime. It's time for Year Zero with a new Manager. I am tired of this zero-sum game, where the Phillies are always the zero.

Sox in 1st place!

2007-04-19T00:25:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox moved ahead of Toronto (by .5 game), New York, and Baltimore (by 1 game) into sole possession of 1st place by defeating the Blue Jays tonight, 4-1. Tim Wakefield picked up his second (should be his third, though, damn Tejeda!) win, allowing only 1 run in 7 strong innings. He lowered his ERA to a sub-Beckett (1.50) 1.35. The Sox pitching is looking mighty good these days. David Ortiz hit his 5th homer, Doug Mirabelli (!) his 2nd (!!), and Mike Lowell his 1st, in an astounding show of offensive support for the ancient knuckleballer. However, Manny Ramirez (.191 batting avg., 0 HR), Coco Crisp (.136), and Dustin Pedroia (a Pawtucket-worthy .188) combined to go 0 for 10. Once Manny starts to hit, and Coco and Dustin grab some pine, the Red Sox will be totally unbeatable, as opposed to their current state of virtually unbeatable.

A somewhat surreal moment occurred late in the game tonight. I'm not talking about Doug Mirabelli providing offense. Or about any fans hurling ballpark fare at each other. (Note: "He is the Pepsi Fan of the Game, at least until he gets thrown out" has to be the Quote of the Year (non-Papel-blog Division)). Geddy Lee was probably at the game, but that's not surreal either.

The Great Jonathan Papelbon came on in the 9th to finish up for a conventional save. Unusual, perhaps, but not the surreal moment to which I will refer. After whiffing the 1st batter (Lyle Overbay) to face him, Jonathan Papelbon ALLOWED A HIT. A single by Jays 2B Aaron Hill. I was pretty surprised that the game wasn't stopped so that the ball could be saved for Cooperstown. PH/C Gregg Zaun followed with a walk, and the Jays had 2 runners. AGAINST PAPELBON. AT THE SAME TIME! Inconceivable. Following a sermon on the mount by pitching coach John Farrell, during with Jonathan did NOT cover his mouth with his glove (because he doesn't care if the opponents know what he is thinking- in this case, it was revealing to Farrell that "Papelbon" is worth 14 points in Scrabble) the indomitable closer struck out the next 2 Jays to end the game. Jonathan's OBA had been elevated to a non-Papelbonian .148, but I'm sure he'll get that back under .100 shortly.

In related Papelbon news, I have learned the following this week, which may be of assistance to my reader(s):

Making Papelbon references in a written evaluation is not necessarily "managerial" or "appropriate." (So, keep your Papelbon references in the workplace veiled.)

If your boss asks what you are up to, the reply "writing a Papelbon haiku" may not be the best response. (Instead, use "giving subordinates direction via written communication.")

Not all subordinates value the creativity of receiving direction via haiku. (Try a tanka.)

Finally, when speaking about a 3rd party in positively glowing terms, refrain from utilizing the phrase "innings-eater." Because, even though you may realize the term has positive connotations (unless prefaced with "league average"), others don't necessarily come to the same realization. They could become a bit disconcerted when the report, inevitably, makes its way back to them. Especially if they are on the rotund side.

Philadelphia: City of Champions

2007-04-18T23:03:00.000-04:00

Some random sports tidbits of major importance:

The Philadelphia Kixx, continuing the City of Brotherly Love's history of brilliance in the World of Sports, will play for the MISL Title against the Detroit Ignition on Saturday at 4pm. The game will be televised live on Versus. Ever since I made a Philadelphia Kixx cap my primary headwear choice, the team has been on fire. Coincidence? Unlikely. While my support may not be the primary factor for the Kixx' success (that might be All-Universe GK Peter Pappas), it is most certainly one of the reasons for their success. The Kixx hope to follow in the footsteps of Philadelphia's other Major Sports Champions, the Philadelphia Phantoms and the Philadelphia Wings. Tune in!

The Philadelphia Eagles signed left-footed PK E.J. Cochrane Monday as a training camp leg to split reps with left-footed starting PK David Akers. While the Eagles, appropriately, chose a left-footed kicker, to simplify the holding and snapping process in the preseason, I am concerned they chose the wrong lefty kicker. Obviously, my booming left leg should be taking the aforementioned preseason reps. While Cochrane had some success at Montana State, and has a pretty cool name, I have had success kicking balls effortlessly between trees in the backyard, and over soccer goals. If I was allowed to challenge Cochrane in Uno for the kicking job, I would totally win. It's disappointing that I won't get that chance. But if Akers gets injured battling ninjas on the eve of the 2008 Super Bowl, I'll be ready for the call.

It was announced Wednesday that women's professional soccer will return to the U.S. in April 2008 (about 3 months after the Eagle's Super Bowl victory) with 8 teams. Boston was announced as one of the initial 7 teams named, with Philadelphia, hopefully, going to be the unnamed squad. As a former Philadelphia Charge fan, I'm looking forward to watching the games. But, mostly, I think I am looking forward to the glorious return of U.S. National Team Defender Heather Mitts. If Philadelphia doesn't get a team, Heather would be a good fit for the Boston team. If hasn't been announced yet where the Boston team will play it's home games (the WUSA Boston Breakers played at BU's Nickerson Field), so there's a chance the games will be played at the field near my home. While the parking situation would be a bit dicey, and the capacity is only about 417, it would be quite convenient for me, which is of greater importance. There is currently a "No Soccer" sign up at the field, but I'm sure they would take it down for Heather.

Rain, rain, go away...

2007-04-15T22:46:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the rain delay version of the Philly Fanatic in Red Sox Nation blog. Here in scenic Somerville, Massachusetts the rain is coming down faster than Coco Crisp's batting average. The timing of this Monster storm is as inopportune as an Abe Nunez pinch-ground out appearance. Families are trying to journey to exotic locales for school vacation week. Lunatics will be running 26.2 miles. But, most importantly, the weather is impacting MLB. Specifically, Julian Tavarez, our most favoritest lunatic of all, who has seen his next start bumped to Thursday, as a result of Sunday's postponement.

"Yo-Yo" Tavarez was scheduled to be the starting pitcher in Monday's 10:05am start, which would have been the pilot episode of "Breakfast with Julian" on NESN. Who knows what insanity would have occurred with Batshit Crazy pitching at 10am in a rainstorm? Obviously, he would have been wearing a raincoat of some kind, probably with an "unorthodox" color scheme. There probably would have been an umbrella out there on the mound with him. He likely would have been running with the umbrella in his hand when he attempted to catch fly balls in right field or when he tried to pick off runners, unassisted. I'm sure that pitching with an umbrella in his glove hand during a rainstorm would have made it difficult for the batter to see the ball coming out of Tavarez' hand. That probably would have resulted in some unkind verbal and/or physical exchanges with the batters.
I am extremely disappointed that none of this will come to pass. (Well, unless Josh Beckett wakes up tomorrow all blister-y. Or forgets about the 10am start time.) If tomorrow's game had gone according to plan, it would have served as the springboard for Julian's show, as well as separate spinoffs involving Manny, Papi, Timlin, and PAPELBON (!). We would have been another step closer to the PAPELBON CHANNEL, which will be the greatest invention, well, ever. (Actually, I think I'm going to start praying for the Beckett blisters right now...)

The Phillies split their 2 weekend games against the Astros, despite getting poor starting pitching from both #1 Brett Myers and #2 Cole Hamels. Cole got plenty of offensive support, however, and picked up his 1st win of the young season.
If you had told me 3 weeks ago that a Phillie would be leading the NL in HRs at this point, I wouldn't have been too surprised. Until you informed me that Phillie would be SS/leadoff man Jimmy Rollins, with 6 HR already. (At which point I would have told you to lay off the Grey Goose.)
As disconcerting as the poor pitching performances this weekend (Phillies have the 2nd worst ERA in all of MLB, only better than Tampa Bay), were some poor managerial decisions. Pat Burrell has been the Phillies best and most consistent offensive threat this season. Unfortunately, Manager Charlie Manuel continues to replace Pat with Michael Bourn, who wouldn't be a consistent offensive threat in t-ball, for running and/or defensive purposes. On Saturday night, Bourn was brought in to pinch-run for Burrell in the 6TH INNING! Naturally, Bourn wound up batting in the the 8th inning with the bases loaded, and struck out. How many times does this type of maneuver have to hurt the Phillies before Manuel stops employing it? The over/under on that is probably 48, but I hope that Manuel will be fired long before he approaches the over.
On Friday night, the Phillies had Shane Victorino thrown out at the plate trying to score from 2nd base on a single WITH NO OUTS, and the Phils trailing 8-6. The bases would have been loaded with no outs if Victorino had not been sent home. (And maybe the Phillies would have scored some runs on BBs and HBPs in that situation.) I don't think I had even heard of 3rd base coach Steve Smith (NOT the former Edmonton Oilers defenseman, I checked), until that play, which is the way it should be. The Phillies are just making too many different mistakes, which is why they are 3-8, and only half a game in front of the woeful Nationals.

The Sox won both of their games, with Tim Wakefield and Curt Schilling turning in tremendous pitching performances. I think I am ready for Schilling to be extended through the 2008 season now. Sure he's only had 2 strong starts in a row, but that's enough for this blogger. Get it done Theo! Send the contract offer to Schill's blog. Send it to the Barrens. Whatever it takes, just get it to him, ASAP!

Jonathan Papelbon entered the Friday night game in the 8th inning with one out, retiring Vladimir Guerrero and Garret Anderson in order, and protecting a 4-1 lead, in what turned out to be a 10-1 win. I think I am going to start calling it a "Papel" when the closer enters the game in the 8th and squelches a threat, but doesn't finish the game and get credited with a save. Expect the "Papel" to be an official stat in the future. Or at least of official as "VORP" is. Or "slaughtered ducks, off-season" will be.

In Schadenfreude News, Blue Jays closer B. J. Ryan was placed on the DL. In even better news, Yankee SPs Mike Mussina and Carl Pavano also were placed on the DL, joining Matsui, Karstens, and Wang on the injured list. Looking at the Yankees depth chart these days makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Speaking of the warm and fuzzies, I have read some tremendous bloggings over the past few days. Specifically, here. And here. Here. Here. And also here. There are some damn good Red Sox and Phillies writing talents inhabiting the blogosphere these days. I'm glad I get to read them on a regular basis. (But I need to start reading them all faster because all of this daily quality blog consumption is making me frequently late for work...)

Sox and Phils take the day off

2007-04-13T00:03:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox' scheduled game against the Seattle Mariners was rained out today and rescheduled for May 3rd. The weather is a horrible "wintry mix" in these parts, with a big storm possible for (Boston) Marathon Monday. The Sox have a 10:05 am (Yep. 10:05 AM- that's 7:05AM PDT for the visiting LA Angels.) game scheduled that day, with Batshit Crazy Julian Tavarez the probable starter. It won't be good weather for running 26.2 miles, but the inclement weather could result in some of Tavarez's patented lunacy. Personally, I would like to see him load the bases, try to pick off the runner on 3rd by throwing Lowell a snowball, and then run all the way to 1st or 2nd base (eschewing the fielder awaiting the throw), in attempt at an unnassisted pickoff. He has tried it before (well, without the snowball), I think it might just work against a less savvy baserunner than Brian Roberts.

The Phillies lost to the Mets, 5-3, dropping their record to 2-7. Jimmy Rollins hit a solo HR and a 2R HR off Mets SP Tom Glavine, but that was pretty much it for the Phillies offense. The rest of the team went 4 for 25. Phillies SP Jamie Moyer pitched well enough to win, with 6 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 3 ER allowed. He walked 2, with 6 K's. He also hit 3 batters, but probably didn't even bruise any of them with the 70 MPH slop he throws up there. Some Phillies' batting averages at game end: RF Victorino .214, 2B Utley .231, 1B Howard .212. They need more production out of their 2,3,4 hitters. Much more. On the plus side, SS Jimmy Rollins now has 5 HR (.278 avg., on pace for 90 HR this season!) and LF Pat Burrell (.323), CF Aaron Rowand (.300), and C Carlos Ruiz (.280 after an 0 for 3 night) are all hitting well, though Rowand and Ruiz have been a bit lacking in the area of plate discipline.
The Phillies and the Mets announcers were seriously frustrating me tonight, only tremendous episodes of The Office and 30 Rock on NBC, prevented damage to the walls of my luxurious condominium.

The Phillies host the Houston Astros on Friday PM, with Astros ace Roy Oswalt (1-0, 1.08 ERA), facing Phillies ace Brett Myers (0-1, 6.75 ERA). Should be a good matchup, as the Astros have also started slow (3-5), and have 5 of their 9 starters batting .229 or lower.
The Sox host the Angels, with Sox knuckleballer Tim Wakefield (0-1, 1.50 ERA) facing Angels SP John Lackey (2-0, 0.75 ERA). The Angels are 6-4, riding strong pitching and Vladimir Guerrero's bat (.405 batting avg., 3 HR, 11 RBI, 1.168 OPS in 10 games).
Should be a good weekend for baseball. Well, except for the crappy Boston weather.

No Dice

2007-04-12T23:16:00.000-04:00

Thirty-six thousand fans and 350 credentialed media were in attendance. Millions were watching in 2 countries. All of them were expecting to see a dominating pitching performance.

Well, they did. Only it was 21 yr. old Seattle Mariner phenom Felix Hernandez, and not Red Sox rookie Daisuke Matsuzaka, who stymied the opposing batters. King Felix pitched a complete game shutout against Boston, allowing only 2 walks and an 8th inning single by Sox RF J.D.Drew. He combined a 96 MPH fastball and a 91 MPH slider to record six strikeouts, and faced only 29 batters (2 above the minimum.) Hernandez is now 2-0 for the season, with 17 scoreless innings, 18 K's, and only 4 H and 4 BB allowed. He has a remarkable GO-AO ratio of 29-4, after 2 starts. I am wicked glad I have Barry Zito and his 8.18 ERA on my fantasy baseball team, instead of King Felix.

Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched effectively (7 IP, 3 ER), and recorded 3 K's of Ichiro Suzuki in 3 ABs. (Approximate 10 gajillion pictures of their confrontations were taken.) Matsuzaka did seem to have some trouble with the command of his off-speed pitches- he hung a few that a more powerful lineup (ex. NYY) would have likely capitalized on. While his results for this performance were good, he needs to improve his control a bit, if he hopes to repeat (or better) those results against a tougher team.

The Phillies won their 2nd game of the season, riding a strong pitching performance by Adam Eaton (7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K) to a 5-2 win in NY over the rival Mets. Opposing starter Oliver Perez was extremely wild (2.2 IP, 1 H, 3 ER, 7 BB), and the Phillies displayed an ability to walk and get hit by pitches with RISP. They still can't seem to hit with RISP (14 LOB), but at least they did score some runs with this method. An orange cat ran on the field in front of the Phillies bullpen in the later innings, which may have aided the embattled relief corps, who posted 2 shutout innings (Alfonseca 1 IP, Gordon 1 IP,SV) to close out the Mets. LF Pat Burrell reached base in 2 of his 4 ABs, and CF Aaron Rowand went 2 for 3 with 2 RBI. The rest of the offense was absent (3 H in 29 AB, not including Rowand), but the Phils did enough to win.

Two things that ticked me off in the game: In the 2nd inning, Aaron Rowand swung at the 1st pitch against Oliver Perez, who had already walked 5 batters, including 3 in a row. He did wind up walking in that AB, but he still needs to work on his game awareness.
Also, thanks to MLB.TV, I had to listen to the torturous Mets announcers. They reached their peak in the 5th and 6 innings, when they interviewed Howard Johnson and Jerry Koosman, while virtually ignoring the play on the field. They also asked Jerry Koosman if they knew Nolan Ryan was going to be that good when they traded him for journeyman SS Jim Fregosi.
Koos' answer should have been "Yes, we realized Nolan was going to be a 300 game winner with 7 no-hitters, 5714 Ks, and a HOF plaque. But we really needed a 30 yr. old .230 hitting infielder for the next season and a half." I hate the Mets and their announcers and their stadium. I may have mentioned that once or twice.

The Phils and Sox both try to win the rubber games of their respective 3 game series'.
98 yr. old Jamie Moyer goes to the mound for the Phillies against 87 yr. old Met hurler Tom Glavine, while Tim Wakefield goes for the Sox against Jarrod Washburn and the Mariners in another Fenway matinee.