A Sweep is in the Air...

You can just feel that a Sox sweep is on the way today. Clay Buchholz, with the 12K/9IP ratio, makes his debut in the first game. No way he loses his debut. In the second game, 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett gets the start. Even the least couth baseball fan has to admit that the Angels' chances of even escaping today's action with a split are not so good.

That tough series last weekend in Baltimore is all but forgotten, as the Sox rallied to win 2.9 of their 3 games against Tampa this week. (Unfortunately, current MLB rules only recognize 2.0 of those victories, but the Sox' lead over the Yankees is back up to 5.5 games. With help from the Tigers and Orioles.)

As would be expected when a team wins 96.667% of a series, the Sox had a bunch of impressive performances. Tim Wakefield no-hit the Rays through six innings in the first game, leaving after completing eight shutout innings (two hits allowed). Jonathan Robert Papelbon pitched the 9th, picking up his 28th save in the 3-0 victory. Jon Lester, making his first start at Fenway since successfully defeating cancer, pitched seven dominating innings in the second game, allowing only two hits. Red Sox team hypnotists performed well, as Eric Serge Gagne contributed a scoreless ninth inning. Serge picked up the win when the Sox staged an incredible comeback in the bottom of the 9th. Mike Lowell hit a solo blast, and Captain Jason Varitek scored the winning run on a Coco Crisp single. Jason currently ranks second on my list of All-time Favorite Jasons, behind this Jason, who is even more well-known for his leadership skills.

The Sox would have won the third game of the series as well, but the U.S. Military got involved. Devil Rays' starter Andy Sonnanstine entered the game with a 1-8 record and a 6.35 ERA, having lost his last eight decisions. But, after a few "tweaks" by military doctors, followed by an aerial escort to the game, Sonnanstine was an effective pitcher. At least for a day. Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka further buried my fantasy team, allowing six runs in six innings (including eight hits and three walks, which were quite WHIP-damaging). The Sox staged a miraculous comeback from 6-0 to 6-5, including a huge ninth-inning double by Julio Lugo (in a remarkable 11 pitch AB), but fell just short. Tom Caron and Amalie Benjamin performed well in the pregame, Daniel Malloy (up from Lowell for a spot start) did well on the Extra Bases Blog, and Sox Appeal was moved back until AFTER the postgame show. But it was not enough to overcome the large deficit.

Caron, Tina Cervasio, and Benjamin all turned in sterling pregame performances today, and the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial was played twice prior to the first pitch. So you can go ahead and put your money on the Sox in the first game. Or, alternatively, you can send your money to the Jimmy Fund. Also a smart move. Either way, don't miss Double H's first MLB victory today.

Sox lose two of three in Baltimore...

Four games. After losing two of three in Baltimore, the Red Sox' lead over the MFYs (23-8 in last 31 games) has been whittled down to four games. Not that I'm concerned. The MFYs have a brutal schedule (eight games with Detroit, three with the Angels) coming right up, and the Sox will (hopefully) fatten up on the Devil Rays the next few days. By the time the MFYs come into town for a three game series at the end of the month, the Sox' lead should be back up over eight games. Hopefully. OK. I am a bit concerned. I'd feel a lot better if the Sox' lead was still in double digits, instead of merely hoping it will get up there again.

The weekend could have, should have, gone so much better for the Sox. They easily could have won all three games. Everything was lining up so well for them going into the series. Their top three starting pitchers (Matsuzaka, Beckett, and Schilling) on tap. The home field advantage of Camden Yards. A new Friendly's Scoop (with Kevin Millar!) premiering before the first game. Dennis Eckersley returning to action on NESN, and Amalie Benjamin returning to action on NESN and the Extra Bases Blog. The best bullpen in All of the Land. The Orioles should not have been a problem.

The Sox' Big Three starters did extremely well. Matsuzaka held the Orioles to one measly run in seven innings. Beckett came within one strike of a complete game shutout on Saturday, and allowed only two runs in his 8.2 inning effort Saturday. Schilling permitted only one unearned run in six innings on Sunday (zero walks and zero strikeouts). Top. Notch.

Yet the Sox only managed one win. Who was to blame? Well, certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they shall be held accountable. But if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look at Eric Serge Gagne. On Friday night, he came into the bottom of the eighth to protect a 5-1 lead. By the time the inning had mercifully ended, Hideki Okajima was leaving the mound with the score tied. Gagne had only retired one batter, and was responsible for the four runs that tied the game. The Orioles completed the comeback with a Nick Markakis sacrifice fly off Okajima in the 9th. On Sunday, Gagne was called into the game in the eighth, in relief of Okajima, and allowed a game-tying home run to Miguel Tejeda. The Orioles won in the 10th, on a Kevin Millar three-run walkoff homer.

Gagne finished the series with one inning pitched, five runs allowed, two leads blown. His ERA with Boston is now 15.75, with seven runs allowed in four innings. (Merde.) Perhaps he's not cut out for the 8th inning role. What to do? Well, Gagne is only successful in the 9th inning, and Jonathan Robert Papelbon is successful in all innings that are mathematically conceivable. The solution is obvious. Gagne needs to be hypnotized before each eighth inning performance, so he thinks he is going for the save in the 9th. Perhaps LMontro can help find the hypnotist. L has plenty of contacts.

The Saturday afternoon game, that was magnifique. Well, 99.8% of it, anyway. Josh Beckett was dominating in winning his 15th game. He threw 81 of 115 pitches for strikes, with zero walks allowed (eight strikeouts). He got to within one out of the complete game, before allowing two RBI hits. After Manny Delcarmen came in and issued a walk, Jonathan Papelbon came in for the final out (27th save).

The Saturday matchup would have been a great game to have attended: a ninety degree afternoon with approximately 42,358 (total attendance: 49,242) Red Sox fans filling one of MLBs finest ballparks (Camden Yards), and Beckett the Ace starting. I'm sure I was there, in person, in at least one parallel universe. (Hopefully, not in the first row of the upper deck, though. That was scary shit.) Having to endure that craptacular FOX broadcast, instead, was not so great. Now, it's never an optimal situation when there's a Sox telecast without Eck and Amalie directly involved. But when FOX or ESPN (Joe Morgan!) is on the scene, you just know you're going to need to be proactive with the mute button. There were a couple of gems on Saturday. When it was revealed that "the Sox would concede a run for the double play", and the Sox immediately followed by turning a double play. Which ended the inning, as there had been one out already. (Yikes.) Also, there was the flourish with which the game-ending strikeout by Josh Beckett, completing his complete game shutout, was called. Except that the ball was obviously fouled off, and the Orioles proceeded to score two runs, knocking Beckett from the game. These sorts of mistakes are only OK if Orsillo and RemDawg make them.

The Sox have a three game series at home against the 45-72 Devil Rays this week. The Sox are 5-1 against the Rays, who have the lowest winning percentage in MLB, at .385. (On the plus side, the Rays do have several cartoon heroes on the active roster.) That winning percentage would drop to .375 with a Sox series sweep. The Boston bullpen will have to perform a bit better for that to happen. I'm going to do my part, and help LMontro find that hypnotist.

Red Sox back at home

The Red Sox only managed to win one of the three games against the Los Angeles Angels contested in the middle of the night. With Tom Caron, Amalie Benjamin, and Dennis Eckersley all out of the lineup for the entire series, the Sox did well to win even one game. Curt Schilling (6 IP, 4 ER) returned to action with a mediocre start, with Tim Wakefield (4 IP, 6 ER) and Jon Lester (3.1 IP, 5 ER) following with much less than mediocre performances. Brandon Moss (1 for 7) was forced into the lineup, even batting cleanup for most of one game after a Manny Ramirez ejection, and Wily Mo Pena (.100 BA in August) got more PT than anyone would like to see. The starting outfield of Pena-Drew-Moss from left to right in the third game was most disconcerting. But the Sox managed to outlast the Angels in that third game, a four hour plus battle that felt like it lasted several days. The Sox bullpen (i.e. the best bullpen EVER!) led the way in the Wednesday night victory, with Mike Timlin, Hideki Okajima, Eric Gagne, and Jonathan Papelbon pitching brilliantly. Which is what they do.

The Sox should do a lot better this weekend. They have the home field fan advantage of Camden Yards in Baltimore. The Orioles have to face Daisuke Matsuzaka, Josh Beckett, and Curt Schilling. Dennis Eckersley and Amalie Benjamin are back in the lineup, and Eric Frede has handled the Tom Caron role ably. As long as Frede remembers to thank Tina AND Amalie after their pregame efforts, and NESN doesn't beat us to death with that W. B. Mason commercial, the Sox have a good shot at a sweep. Well, unless that Bedard guy gets in the way tonight.

Moose on the Loose

The Red Sox overcame a great deal of adversity this past weekend, in winning two of three games in Seattle. First off, the Mariners are kind of a good team, and have had a lot of home success (nine wins in a row) against Boston in recent years. Secondly, the Red Sox still have Wily Mo Pena on their team. Not good, that. Thirdly, the new Friendly's Scoop was overdue- the Sox are a .500 team in games played with an overdue Scoop. Additionally, NESN had to make the trip west without All-Stars Tom Caron, Dennis Eckersley, and Amalie Benjamin. While Eric Frede and Gordon Edes are more than capable, you just can't replace the kind of numbers Caron, Eckersley, and Benjamin put up. Frede and Edes did enough to help get the Sox out of there with two wins. Well done!

There were some moose-related concerns that need to be addressed. Prior to the bottom of the fifth inning in Sunday's 9-2 Sox victory, the Mariner Moose almost knocked Sox CF Coco Crisp out of the game, with an unprovoked ATV attack. Fortunately, the nimble outfielder was able to dodge out of the way before a career-ending injury was sustained. Strangely, outside of a scathing verbal attack from Red Sox Pitching Coach John Farrell, there wasn't much of a response from Boston. Considering that Josh Beckett and Jonathan Papelbon are both experienced in "handling" such matters, it is surprising that Fenway doesn't have a new addition. Perhaps hanging in front of the entrance to the visitor's clubhouse. (THAT would be rather intimidating.) Hopefully, Wally the Green Monster will have a proportional response at the ready for the Mariners' next visit to Boston.

In other moosian news, NESN aired clips of a Papelbonian Moose Hunting expedition that took place during the offseason. It was certainly a positive that, instead of car racing people, we were treated to Papelbonian content. You just can't lose with any sort of Papelbonian content. (Well, you usually can't lose.)

I'll be the first one to admit I was excited by the prospect of seeing some clips of Papelbon hunting. What's cooler that slaughtering wild animals? I mean, besides slaughtering them with crossbows and whatnot? The poetry and the romance of the kill! It doesn't get much better than that. Well, next time, I think I'd rather watch the car racing people. First off, Papelbon was operating the camera. From his inability to hold the camera steady, it was obvious that he had been holding it for an extended period of time. Apparently, there are no "pitch counts" in hunting. Then, the Jewel of the Boston Red Sox organization crossed over a seemingly bottomless chasm on a rickety, old rope bridge. Yikes! Couldn't we assign someone more, um, expendable, to go across that bridge? (See Pena, Wily Mo.)

Next, there was a chasm in the road, making it unpassable. Unpassable, for those with fewer than 35 saves in 2006, perhaps. Papelbon and Co. just got some big logs, stuck them in the road chasm, and drove right on over it. (Though, not without some difficulty.) That was too much for this viewer, as I couldn't watch any more. If the Red Sox can't put some language in Hunter Boy's contract preventing him from such dangerous undertakings (and this danger was all BEFORE he started trying to kill half-ton wild animals!), they shouldn't televise them. We'd be better off watching the Sox Appeal episode with all the car racing people. MUCH less disconcerting.

Sox Win Two of Three from O's

Two out of three at home against the Orioles? Not bad. Especially after losing the first game to Bedard, and having to bring Batshit back from the bullpen to make a spot start. A 66-42 record and an unassailable lead over the MFY's? We'll take it!

However, there are a few issues that need to be addressed. Douglas Mirabelli. Three for three with two runs batted in during Wake's Thursday start. You're not quite in Gabor Paul Bako II territory yet with the bat, but those contributions on offense were quite timely. That little prob you had with the tagging up and the (not actually) scoring from third base, we're going to go ahead and overlook that. But chasing after foul pops, with your catcher's mask in hand, that's a bit disconcerting. Can't you chuck that thing out of your way, hand it to the home plate ump, drop kick it into the visitor's dugout, or something? It really bothers us. Perhaps even more than the sub-.400 slugging percentage.

NESN. Wednesday night. Immediately following the game, instead of quality time with Batshit and Terry, we got... Sox Appeal?! What the shithell was that all about? Seriously, couldn't you have broadcast that AFTER the postgame show? Was it necessary to hold us captive like that, as we waited anxiously for Batshit's Pearls O' Wisdom? Sure, many of us were able to escape to the Magical Realm of MLB Extra Innings until the danger was gone, but what of those among us who could not? The MLB Extra Innings-poor? What of them? Were they doomed to watch ESPN on the Bonds Channel? Anyways, over lunch at Bertucci's with TC and KT on Friday, I was assured that such a thing would never be allowed to happen again. But it was rather egregious that it was allowed to happen once. If this (egregiousity?) does occur again, rest assured that the full might of this blog will be wielded against those who have wronged us. Those car-racing people better not come back, either. Our smoting power is without limit.

Eric Gagne made his Soxian debut on Wednesday, and it was a succesful one, as he retired the side in order. (No, we are not counting that bloopy "double" that should have been caught, or the run that scored as a result. Gagne's Soxian ERA is still 0.) But there should be some concern about the paucity of save chances that will be available for Gagne, after Papelbon has had his fill. We need to keep Eric Serge happy. Sure, paying him cash money, in advance, for all the saves he probably would have gotten in Texas was a good start. But we need to create save chances for Gagne, aussi. Unfortunately, the way the roster is currently constructed, there don't seem to be any relievers able to turn a huge lead into a save situation. With the exiles of Messrs. Romero and Piniero to The Land That the DH Forgot, there just isn't anyone to fill this crucial role. Theo has made a huge mistake. Almost as huge as Garrett not picking the hot actuary.

Gagne!

Quatre-vingt-trois. That's the number new Red Sox setup man Eric Serge Gagne will be wearing. (Parce que Le Schill est trente-huit.) A great acquistion by the Sox. I would have preferred a power bat (Jermaine Dye?) but not at the price of Delcarmen and Masterson for a three month rental. While Not Jason Gabbard did well in Boston, he really wasn't in the Sox' long-term plans. Nor was AAA OF David Murphy. GM Theo Epstein managed to fortify an area that was already a strength without mortgaging the future. Well done, Theo!

As brilliant as the Gagne acquisition was, even more brilliant is the manner in which they will divide up the save opportunities. Determining the night's closer with a pre-game Scrabble match between Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon is yet another masterstroke by Manager Terry Francona. While preliminary plans are for the Scrabble board to be displayed in the bottom corner of the screen during the NESN pre-game show, it likely won't be long before the Scrabble match is broadcast live. The smack talk will be flying between the two competitve relief aces! Also, as per the terms of Gagne's trade to the Sox, half of the matches will be contested in French. That may prove to be a bit difficile for Papelbon, but it should help further increase Soxian coverage among the French-speaking media. The only loser in this whole scenario is Papelbon Clone, who, barring an injury to his Donor, will be relegated to the bench. Which is probably good, considering his performance in Tampa last Saturday.

The game against the Orioles was a bit of a letdown after the success of the afternoon's dealings. The Beckett-Bedard pitcher's duel didn't pan out, as Beckett was largely ineffective. Bedard, on the other hand, was quite effective (despite excessive walkage) in the Orioles' 5-3 win. David Ortiz (3 for 4, all three of the Sox' RBI, three of the Sox' four total hits) hit a pair of home runs, but it wasn't enough. Wily Mo Pena made an acrobatic catch on a ball that probably could have been caught with a little less drama, and the bumbling RF might have had a play on the home run by Orioles 2B Brian Roberts, on Josh Beckett's very first pitch. Unfortunately, Pena was baffled by the curvature of the right field wall, and was unable to doing anything useful. Pena's RF counterpart, Nick Markakis, handled his position a little better, reaching into the stands down the right field line to make an outstanding catch on a foul ball. It was a remarkable play, but the Sox fans in the area probably could have made things a bit more difficult for the Baltimore outfielder. Beckett fell to 13-5 with the loss (3.41 ERA). He was rather restrained afterwards, only damaging one water cooler, and utilizing 74 (5 unique) swears in his post-game press availability.

The Sox face the Orioles again Wednesday night, in what could be Gagne's first appearance in a Red Sox uniform. Unfortunately, as a result of the Gabbard trade, Batshit Tavarez will get the start for Boston. (I'm a little confused as to why Schilling wasn't held out of his Tuesday Pawtucket rehab start, in order to start for the Sox on Wednesday.) While it is quite amusing to watch Batshit's antics, the Sox really need a win tonight. They can't be losing in front of Gagne and the French-speaking media. But if they can keep the game close into the later innings, the Sox' bullpen superiority should lead them to victory. Especially if the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial is played more than that (4 unique swears deleted) Foxwoods commercial. The Sox just don't lose under those circumstances.