Chasin' Mediocrity

Chase Utley had a pretty decent weekend. Picked up a new wife. Also picked up a 7 yr., $85 million contract. Not necessarily in that order. A pretty fair weekend haul.
Five and a half years in the future, I'll probably be complaining about the Phillies' trade of Utley, $8 million, and a serviceable SP to the Yankees for a serviceable LOOGY and 3 randomly generated minor league prospects to fill out the AA roster.
But, in the present, I am saluting the Phillies for locking up the premier 2B in MLB for the long-term, at below-market value.

A disappointing weekend in NFL playoff action. Disappointing in that both teams I was rooting for lost. Brees, Bush, and the Saints, who had my support only because of my eternal dislike of all things Bears, got demolished. I'm not really sure what happened there. One minute it was like 16-14 Bears, then the Bears suddenly had 39 points.
So the Bears are in the fucking Super Bowl. With that shitpisser Rex Grossman as their QB. The Eagles have 3 QBs far better than him. (Note: I am including an injured McNabb in this count. I am NOT counting Koy Detmer because, well, nobody does at this point. Sorry, Koy. But good job with all of the holding.)
The Eagles are FAR SUPERIOR to the Bears. But I am not yet in a place where I can write about the Eagles. Still marching through the 12 steps. (But currently 10 steps ahead of Lindsay. Who, incidentally, does not get nearly enough credit for her transcendental acting performance in Herbie:Fully Loaded. "I'm being car-jacked by my own car!" )
But when I do write on the Eagles again it will be inspirational and/or brilliant. For reals.

The Patriots lost to the Colts in what was a really exciting game. Exciting, but the ending was flawed. The correct ending would have been a game-winning TD catch by Reche Caldwell. Redemption. Or perhaps Troy Brown. History. The Brady INT ending was poorly conceived, and, frankly, not all that believable. Shithell. I don't feel like writing about the Pats either.

In other important football news, I have come to the realization that I hold myself to a higher standard when wearing a McNabb or Akers jersey. I display more speed, agility, and mobility. The ability to throw and kick objects a greater distance, with increased accuracy. And increased pressure on myself to demonstrate considerable leadership skills. Donovan McNabb makes me want to be a better person. A Campbell soup-eating better person. (Though I much prefer Progresso soup when not sporting Eagles attire.)

The NHL is currently in it's All-Star break. They are unveiling new uniforms which are, well, a bit offensive. Last night was the "YoungStars" game, which was also very offensive. As in, goalies and defenseman need not be present, unless they are also all about the offense. (Exactly which teams' offense they are trying to enhance is clearly irrelevant.) The Bruins' mediocrity and the Flyers' ineptitude has soured me on the hockey a little bit this week.

So, David Beckham will be joining MLS as a midfielder/savior. Becks and Posh will, undoubtedly, save the single-entity/non-entity MLS from overwhelming disinterest in the U.S. Kind of like how Pele saved the NASL. And like Steve Young saved the USFL. (Well, except for the fact that Becks and Posh are less Mormon-y and more, well, Spice-y, than Steve Young.)

I miss the USFL. Football as it should be. The Philadelphia franchise as the dominating power, the model for all other teams. Chuck Fusina throwing to Scott Fitzkee. David Trout, the diminutive kicker. Kelvin Bryant. Sean Landeta. The Philadelphia Stars finished 15-3 in their 1st season, losing the Championship game to Bobby Hebert, Anthony Carter and the Michigan Panthers, 24-22. (Clearly, the better team lost.) In the 2nd season, they went 16-2 and beat THE Greg Landry and the Arizona Wranglers for the championship. (Then they moved to Baltimore, and played their home games in Maryland. But we will not speak of that.)

Baseball is only weeks away. The Sox haven't signed J.D. Drew yet, but will any SECOND. Just have to clean up some contractural language. A mere formality. (BTW, I can't wait to see how well-received he will be at CBP as a Red Sox in the 2007 World Series.)
Trot Nixon trotted off to Cleveland. A lot of anguish in Sox Nation, but I think the right decision was made. Trot has made many varied contributions to the Sox, and will always be remembered for his Dirt Dog ways. Fever Pitch III will include a Nixon jersey in the protagonist's closet. A decade from now, he'll probably be a Sox coach.
But, in the present, he has some injury concerns, and the Sox have 5 or 6 OF ahead of him, not including MLers. The Sox made the right move in not retaining Trot, which does not diminish his many accomplishments in a Sox uniform in any way. I hope Trot does well as an Indian.

In local news, after the City of Boston's bigwigs failed to acquire their top choice as the next Poet Laureate, as they were unwilling to meet my more than reasonable contract demands, have, apparently, opted to search for a less distinguished and talented candidate to fill that crucial role. They pursued me fervently, after reading my series of tankas on the Matsuzaka Saga, but just didn't show me enough of the money. (They said they spent it all digging some tunnel.) It is their loss. As well as the loss of the entire City of Boston.

I'll close with a selection from my Matsusaka Tanka Series, as I have been made aware that my blog has been severely lacking in "crappy-ass poetry." (Hmm. Should "crappy-ass" be hyphenated?)

The Monster hurls a gyro sublime
Only 6 million yen
For his agent's time

Just a sample of what you'll be missing, Boston. But, you go ahead and keep digging more holes...