Sports of the Foot

A wild day in the sports of the foot on Sunday. The U.S. Men's National Human Foosball team gave a pretty good account of themselves, in a 4-2 loss to Brazil. With better luck on an own goal, and without a very questionable call by the ref that lead to another goal for the visiting Brazilians, the U.S. could have escaped with a draw. Props to U.S. keeper Tim Howard for responding to a painful finger injury by using his other fingers. If Homer Simpson had drawn the refereeing appointment for this match, the U.S. would have been victorious, and hilarity would surely have ensued.

The Philadelphia Eagles completed their preseason with a 16-13 loss at Lambeau Field to the Packers. Not much hilarity ensuing there. Unless you are a Green Bay fan. (Strangely, NFL.com is counting this as an Eagles loss in the regular season standings. So, until that error is corrected, simply subtract one loss from the Eagles' record.) Obviously, if this was a game that really counted in the standings, the Eagles braintrust would not have experimented as much as the did. Would QB Donovan McNabb play the entire game with weights on each of his limbs? Would randoms like Greg Lewis and J.R. Reed be returning punts? No, certainly not. But, the real punt returners that the Eagles (obviously) have were protected from injury in a meaningless exhibition, and McNabb continues to build up his strength for the games that count. Postseason games. Regular season games. Neither of which occurred yesterday.

When the Eagles start their season, for real, against the Redskins next Monday night, Australian Punter Sav Rocca will make his NFL debut. (NFL.com has Rocca ranked 24th out of 27 NFL punters, after including yesterday's stats. Must be a computer glitch.) When the games count, Rocca will quickly rise to the top of the heap. It's been quite a while since the Eagles had one of the league's top punters. However, some NFL enthusiasts don't exactly hold punters in high regard. Despite my numerous electronic entreaties, most fantasy football leagues don't even include punting stats. (Crazy, that.) But when Rocca leads Philly to a Super Bowl win over New England this season, perhaps philosophies will change. I dream of a day when fantasy football includes a dizzying array of punting statistics. A day when athletes (ATHLETES!) named Rocca and Lechler are drafted ahead of the Tomlinsons and Westbrooks.

I guess I've always been a bit alone in my "kicker love." In neighborhood football games, the majority of the players would mimic quarterbacks with cool nicknames. Such as the Polish Rifle and the Polish Pistol. Or famous names from the Giants, like Simms and Brunner. I was always Tony Franklin. Or Paul McFadden. Or Sean Landeta and David Trout of Philadelphia Stars fame. When we scored a touchdown, I'd start counting off the steps for my PAT attempt, until I was told (again) that "we weren't playing with kicks." As our offense faced 4th and Goal, from the shadows of the trees behind our own goal line, I was reminded that we were playing with "throwing punts." I was met with a similar level of derision when I announced my candidacy for the Patriots' punting job a month ago. Even though I offered to punt, hold for kicks, kickoff, and DJ in the locker room, all at a very salary cap-friendly wage level, I was denied the opportunity for even a tryout. But when the Pats get Rocca'd in the Super Bowl, everything will change. The scoffing will come to an end. I'll be staying in kicking shape if the Patriots want to rethink their plans for next summer's training camp. I'm a much better DJ than that Hanson guy, to boot.

The Philly teams are on a roll...

Some good things are going down in Philly these days. The Flyers signed goalie Martin Biron to a 2 year contract today. (Mrs. Biron must have taken a liking to the area.) I was a bit disconcerted when the Flyers traded a 2nd rounder (the 1st pick of the 2nd round) for 19 almost meaningless games worth of Biron in a season long lost. But now that he is signed, I feel much better about that trade. He will, hopefully, continue to bring consistent play to the goal crease. If not, he will at least save the Flyers on equipment costs, as he has been wearing the same skates for the last 11 years. (Apparently, they are still quite comfy.)

The Eagles made a huge move also, acquiring LB Takeo Spikes and 3rd string QB Kelly Holcomb from Buffalo for DT Darwin Walker and a late, conditional draft pick. Besides having an insanely cool name, Spikes is a versatile, impact player who fills a huge hole on the Eagles D. I have been a Spikes fan since having him on one of my fantasy football teams. (I am so hardcore that I play fantasy football IDP style!) Spikes is a little pricey, but they gave up almost nothing for him, as Darwin Walker was projected to be the 5th or 6th man in the 4 man tackle rotation. Excellent move by the Eagles.

The 2nd place Philadelphia Kixx secured a spot in the postseason. Their play has been much improved since I added a Kixx hat to my headwear rotation. I like to think I have a role, albeit small, in their success. There are only 22 KIXX HATS left, so buy now and PLAY IT REAL!

But, with the Phillies season starting in less than a week (!!!), it's time for the rest of the Philly teams to take a back seat. I'm a little concerned about the Phillies' rotation (Garcia, Eaton, and Lieber are having issues), the bullpen (Gordon seems fragile, the rest seem mediocre), and the fact that Howard, Burrell, and Rowand are all hitting around .200. (Yes, I know spring stats don't count/small sample size and whatnot, I am still concerned.) But they have until next Monday to get it together. I still think they are the team to beat in the NL East, though I may not necessarily be objective. I CANNOT WAIT for the season to start.

Eagles 23, Tikis 20

Well, bringing back Koy Detmer to hold the snaps from The Magician worked out pretty well. (Hmm. Why do I think of Gob from Arrested Development whenever the Magical Exploits of the Eagles Long Snapping Specialist are referenced on just about every FGA/PAT?)
He Who Kicks With Stupendous Accuracy did his thing, and the Eagles will be off to New Orleans next weekend.

The game was a little more nerve-wracking than I would have preferred. What with the game being in Philly, and the Giants being Dead Men Walking and all. But the Eagles got the result, and that's (mostly) all that matters. Have to give most of the credit for this victory to Mr. Westbrook and myself. Westbrook for his brilliant and clock-killing running, myself for the fact that the Eagles are now 6-0 on weekends where I wear my McNabb jersey on game day, and my Akers jersey on the preceding day.

They will need a more thorough effort to beat the Saints in NO, however. I am very concerned by the fact that Lito seems likely to be a sideline observer with Jevon and Donovan. I am hopeful Jeff will perform like he had in previous weeks. And Westbrook needs to reprise this week's performance.

Additionally, while the Eagles managed the last 4 minutes of the game (leaving the Giants with zero seconds in which to make a comeback) extremely well, I still think they would be well-served by adding me to the staff as Time Management Coordinator. I could handle time outs, when to spike the ball, when to allow the other team to score, play-calling at the end of each half, taking a knee, when to allow time to drip off the clock, etc. Sometimes the Eagles seem puzzled by these things. Like at the end of the 1st half when they let 30 seconds drip away before they finally took a time out. Those wasted 30 seconds could have been worth another FG. Andy, let me know if you need me on the sidelines in NO.

In other NFL playoff games, I was excited to watch the Pats win. Not that the Jets were much of a challenge. The Pats have a very tough matchup against the Chargers in SD next weekend, but I think they have a good shot at the upset. I'll be rootin' for them. (And not just because the Eagles have a better chance to beat them in the Super Bowl.)

Glad to see Romo and the Cowboys choke and eliminate themselves. Fuckers.
While I must admit it was pretty exciting to watch LJ shred the Colts for 32 yards (on 13 carries) rushing, and that play with 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter when the Chiefs actually got one of those "First Down" things for the 1st time, that game kind of sucked. Mostly because I was hoping the Colts would choke and eliminate themselves like the Cowboys. But Peyton and boys will do their choking thing next weekend. Just a matter of time.

Flyers had 2 more L's over the weekend. Their strategy of letting the other team shoot on them all game, and then attempting an occasional counter-attack didn't exactly work. More of a soccer strategy, anyways.
Additionally, they are reportedly considering trading Joni Pitkanen. (Apparently, they think having ZERO (0) good D, is an idea worth considering.)
I choose not to think of the Flyers right now. At least they helped the B's get closer to a playoff spot.

The Phillies still need a RF. Also about 7 worthwhile relievers. The Red Sox seem to have no closer (not sold on Pineiro as a closer, they'd be better off with Timlin closing), but about 15 serviceable relievers. The Phillies have a serviceable (but a bit old) closer in Gordon, but not much with him in the bullpen. The Phillies and Sox, obviously, need to merge bullpens, but I haven't figured out all of the logistics of this move. Yet. But it will include (at least) 2 private planes. And extra socks. Lots of socks.

I think I am the only MA resident with a Philadelphia Kixx hat. I win.

I did not watch You're the One That I Want because the wound is still too new. (Not to mention that, years ago, an insufficient financial aid package squelched my dream of doing my undergrad work at Grease Academy. Also quite traumatic.)
But I watched a little of The Apprentice, which appears to be reaching quite a bit. Losers living in tents. Winning project manager in the boardroom helping fire opponents. Trump's daughter (Ivanka?) overseeing things. Yikes.
But Angela Ruggiero is on it. So you have to root for the Ice Hockey Gold Medalist.
I like watching the tasks, but the boardroom shenanigans irritate me. Not a fan of back-stabbing, evil, etc. Plus it is in LA, so my fave character (the receptionist who directed peeps into the boardroom) isn't in it. A bit disappointing. I miss her.
Think I'll stick to watching the sports.

E-A-G-L-E-S!

So the 5-6 Eagles ran the table, finishing 10-6, and winning the NFC East. I am still a little shocked at this turn of events. But I guess that's why they play the games.

Now with a home playoff game this weekend against the eminently-beatable N.Y. Giants, and a playoff bracket that could include winnable road games in New Orleans and Chicago (2 overrated teams), the streaking Iggles have as good a shot as any NFC playoff team to play in the Super Bowl. Perhaps even in a rematch against Thomas Brady and the Patriots of New England. Yikes!

I would have liked to have watched what turned out to be a battle of the Eagles' B team and the Atlanta Falcons, but the FOX Overlords opted to televise a game not involving quite as many birds. Fuckers.

This was a bit disconcerting as I drove at 85 MPH for about 50 miles to not watch the NFC East Champion Philadelphia Eagles. Even at 85 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, I was still getting passed by other vehicles. (What the shithell?)

However, I was totally unconcerned about being pulled over by a trooper. It was highly more likely that they'd see me tooling along in my Eagles jersey, and opt to give me a Mirabelli Escort. Anyways, the troopers were probably all watching the end of the Pats game.

Besides, I drive a flipping Honda Accord. Obviously, I'm going to drive it at high speeds at all times. To not do so would be uncivilized. It would be like buying high performance skis, and then spending all your time in the ski lodge. Or buying a Porsche for the expressed purpose of drug trafficking, and leaving it parked at an airport for a decade, a portion of which was not even spent as a guest of the Commonwealth. Just crazy talk.

A bonus to the Eagles' clinching (which came as the bastard Cowboys lost at home to the 3-13 Lions. hehe.) was that backup QB A.J. Feeley got to play the majority of the game, and he put up some serious stats. If Garcia gets hurt, there is no reason A.J. can't take over and move the offense.

Of course, A.J. will always be best known for his Heather Mitts connection.

Heather Mitts, of course, being the soccer player who is also the Most Attractive Female Professional Athlete Ever. Maybe she was even at the game, but I didn't get to see because of Fox. Craphead.

Anyways, I guess I will take solace in the fact that the NFC East Champion Philadelphia Eagles are, in fact, great. And will probably win the Super Bowl.

Merry Christmas, Eagles Fans!

Eagles 23, Cowboys 7. A playoff spot clinched. A dominating performance IN Dallas, against their sartorially challenged archrivals, including our old friend Terrell.
Quite the Christmas present for Eagles fans.
On this day, 46 years ago, the overachieving Philadelphia Eagles upset the Green Bay Packers, 17-13, for the 1960 NFL Championship. It was the only playoff game Vince Lombardi ever lost.
The Packers won the next two NFL championships, with a 24-4 record.
The Eagles haven't won a championship since.
But, with a playoff berth in hand, an underachieving NFC ripe for the picking in the playoffs, a Super Bowl appearance, which seemed so unlikely after the McNabb injury, doesn't seem so implausible anymore.
And, on any given Super Sunday, even the biggest underdog has a chance to leave town with the Vince Lombardi Trophy in hand.
Go Eagles!