Sports of the Foot

A wild day in the sports of the foot on Sunday. The U.S. Men's National Human Foosball team gave a pretty good account of themselves, in a 4-2 loss to Brazil. With better luck on an own goal, and without a very questionable call by the ref that lead to another goal for the visiting Brazilians, the U.S. could have escaped with a draw. Props to U.S. keeper Tim Howard for responding to a painful finger injury by using his other fingers. If Homer Simpson had drawn the refereeing appointment for this match, the U.S. would have been victorious, and hilarity would surely have ensued.

The Philadelphia Eagles completed their preseason with a 16-13 loss at Lambeau Field to the Packers. Not much hilarity ensuing there. Unless you are a Green Bay fan. (Strangely, NFL.com is counting this as an Eagles loss in the regular season standings. So, until that error is corrected, simply subtract one loss from the Eagles' record.) Obviously, if this was a game that really counted in the standings, the Eagles braintrust would not have experimented as much as the did. Would QB Donovan McNabb play the entire game with weights on each of his limbs? Would randoms like Greg Lewis and J.R. Reed be returning punts? No, certainly not. But, the real punt returners that the Eagles (obviously) have were protected from injury in a meaningless exhibition, and McNabb continues to build up his strength for the games that count. Postseason games. Regular season games. Neither of which occurred yesterday.

When the Eagles start their season, for real, against the Redskins next Monday night, Australian Punter Sav Rocca will make his NFL debut. (NFL.com has Rocca ranked 24th out of 27 NFL punters, after including yesterday's stats. Must be a computer glitch.) When the games count, Rocca will quickly rise to the top of the heap. It's been quite a while since the Eagles had one of the league's top punters. However, some NFL enthusiasts don't exactly hold punters in high regard. Despite my numerous electronic entreaties, most fantasy football leagues don't even include punting stats. (Crazy, that.) But when Rocca leads Philly to a Super Bowl win over New England this season, perhaps philosophies will change. I dream of a day when fantasy football includes a dizzying array of punting statistics. A day when athletes (ATHLETES!) named Rocca and Lechler are drafted ahead of the Tomlinsons and Westbrooks.

I guess I've always been a bit alone in my "kicker love." In neighborhood football games, the majority of the players would mimic quarterbacks with cool nicknames. Such as the Polish Rifle and the Polish Pistol. Or famous names from the Giants, like Simms and Brunner. I was always Tony Franklin. Or Paul McFadden. Or Sean Landeta and David Trout of Philadelphia Stars fame. When we scored a touchdown, I'd start counting off the steps for my PAT attempt, until I was told (again) that "we weren't playing with kicks." As our offense faced 4th and Goal, from the shadows of the trees behind our own goal line, I was reminded that we were playing with "throwing punts." I was met with a similar level of derision when I announced my candidacy for the Patriots' punting job a month ago. Even though I offered to punt, hold for kicks, kickoff, and DJ in the locker room, all at a very salary cap-friendly wage level, I was denied the opportunity for even a tryout. But when the Pats get Rocca'd in the Super Bowl, everything will change. The scoffing will come to an end. I'll be staying in kicking shape if the Patriots want to rethink their plans for next summer's training camp. I'm a much better DJ than that Hanson guy, to boot.