Just the Beginning...

This celebration was a little less restrained than the last one.

Daisuke Matsuzaka was outstanding, allowing only two runs in eight innings. Jonathan Papelbon retired the side in the ninth on only six pitches, for his 37th save. David Ortiz continued his hot streak, going 3 for 4, with his 35th home run. Daniel Malloy was flawless on the Extra Bases Blog. Just about everything went right for the Sox, in their 5-2 win over the visiting Minnesota Twins. Then, things got even better.

The Sox players, and reporters, retreated to the Sox clubhouse to watch the end of the Yankees-Orioles game. A Yankees loss would clinch the AL East for the Red Sox. But, with a 9-6 lead in the 9th inning, and Mariano Rivera in for the save, it looked like the Sox would have to wait another day to clinch the division. As the thousands of fans remaining in Fenway Park watched on the big screen, and Amalie Benjamin attempted to peer around a gajillion Japanese reporters to see the screens in the Sox clubhouse, the Orioles staged an unlikely game-tying rally. After dodging a bullet in the top of the 10th, with Tom Caron and Dennis Eckersley reporting on every batter, the Orioles sent former Sox hero Kevin Millar to the plate with the opportunity to give the Red Sox the AL East. And Millar... struck out. Then Melvin Mora shocked the world with a two-out, game-winning bunt. Cue: Pandemonium!

NESN really should have assigned a camera to follow Papelbon around during the celebration. (Well, at least his celebrations after he covered up his Papelbutt.) The uninhibited closer was spotted running around the field, dancing on the pitcher's mound, wearing an empty Bud Light box, and various other shenanigans. Alex Cora was DJ'ing, as Mike Lowell ran around the perimeter of field, spraying fans with champagne. Mike Timlin and Curt Schilling were on top of the dugout, communing with Red Sox Nation. Tina Cervasio and Kathryn Tappen were drenched in a delightful combination of champagne and Bud Light, as they interviewed everyone in sight. Terry Francona was hugging players, and Mike Timlin pecked Jason Varitek on the cheek, as Varitek was interviewed on NESN. The focused Captain seemed unmoved by Timlin's tender gesture, probably because his thoughts are already on Vladimir Guerrero and the Angels. Conspicuously absent from the interviewees was AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett, but I am fairly certain that I heard him yell, "We did it, motherfuckers!" a few times in the background. It was awesome that the fans were allowed to stay in the ballpark and watch the last hour or so of the Orioles win, and then celebrate with the Sox players. Hopefully, they'll be celebrating the AL pennant that way in early Soxtober.

All the Yen in the World...

Fifty-eight Gajillion American Dollars. When I saw Julian Tavarez wearing shoes with Big Papi's visage on the front, the future was immediately obvious. The Papelbonian Signature Line. Papelbon Signature Hunting Jackets. Papelbon Signature Safari Hats. Papelbon Signature Nunchakas. Papelbon EVERYTHING. I would pay fifty-eight gajillion dollars for any of these incredible items. This needs to happen. A year from now I expect to be watching Paps play badminton on NESN, with commercials for these items between matches. There is too much potential for profit here to be ignored.

The Papi shoes are good for now, though. Julian Tavarez is certainly the correct choice to model them. Unless this was all a dream. Tina Cervasio and Amalie Benjamin describing a bizarre Sox item worn by Julian Tavarez certainly seems like the type of dream I would have. But in my dream, Amalie would be a bit more fluid in her comedic delivery. As anyone who's seen her perform in the comedy clubs would agree, Amalie excels in the comedic arts. (If you don't know anyone who has seen her perform in that arena, you'll just have to take my word for it.) But she did perform very well today in the Extra Bases Blog, at least until the later innings when she seemed to tire, and her pitches were up in the zone. However, Gordon Edes should have been brought in to relieve her well before that point. Her pitch count was very high, and you could see the signs of fatigue behind the hipster glasses.

You won't see signs of fatigue in Daisuke Matsuzaka's eyes any time soon. He's worth every penny of the 58 gajillion dollars (70280978000000000 yen) the Sox paid for him. (Yes. The Sox' big offseason acquisition is of comparable value to a Papelbon Safari Hat. If you don't think that seems plausible, you obviously are not imagining the Safari Hat properly.) He threw 103 pitches in eight innings, and indicated in interviews after the game that he was good for about 150 pitches a game. Matsuzaka scattered nine hits and did not allow a walk. All three runs he conceded came in the top of the 7th, at which point the Sox had a 12-0 lead. He is 3-0 with a 1.87 ERA in his last three starts, and is making my 7th round fantasy league selection seem quite prescient. (And not "a reach", as has been derisively suggested in some circles.)

I missed about half of the first game, however, due to the responsibilities of my position as a consultant for the Philadelphia Phillies organization. I was on the highway when Mike Lowell pounded a grand slam in the 5th, giving the Sox a 7-0 lead. I pumped my fist several times, and honked my horn, in celebration of the blast over the Green Monster. None of the other cars seemed to share my exuberance, and the car immediately in front of me made a sudden, and somewhat daring, change to a different lane. Apparently, they did not interpret my behavior in the proper Soxian context. But they were driving kind of slow (only 10 MPH above the speed limit), and their removal from my path helped me get home in time to see Wily Mo Pena's prodigious shot. Reports indicate that the ball landed somewhere in Billerica. Wily Mo celebrated the HR by returning to the dugout and treating himself to a pudding cup. After he finished with the pudding, he played the air drums on his sizeable thighs, until Boston's 13-3 victory was complete. There is definitely a place for Wily Mo in my Papelbonian Vision of Future NESN.

The second game of the doubleheader- not so good. I was hoping for a rainout before the game was official, but despite the torrent of raindrops, the torrent of Braves offense continued unabated. I was also watching the Phillies-Blue Jays game, and, at one point, both of my teams faced eleven runs deficits. Not the best night.

The Sox game seemed almost surreal by the end. The stands had large pockets of empty desolation, some kind of alarm was going off at the stadium, the fans were getting a wee bit rowdy, Cora was playing 1B. Weird, crazy stuff. But I hope they were taping Sox Appeal during the soggy tumult. These would be the ideal circumstances to separate the wheat from the chaff. (The blue hats from the pink?) Besides that, there wasn't too much possible utility to be derived from Saturday night's 14-0 loss. Unless you value watching Cora play exciting, new positions. In which case, you might be the only viewer of tonight's Sox In 2. Buenos noches, amigos!

Travesty

When watching the Phillies-Giants broadcast on ESPN, the national audience was treated to various poll results on the Barry Bonds situation. With Bonds approaching the all-time MLB HR record (though he didn't play Sunday night because he, obviously, fears Cole Hamels), I began to consider the question, "What is the Greatest Travesty in Sports?"
The correct answer is blatantly obvious. I'm sure you are thinking the same thing I am right now.

How can NESN have a commercial for The Boston Globe Pre-Game Show without a clip of Amalie Benjamin? That's like a commercial for 24 without that Jack Bauer guy. Charlie Manuel does things that make more sense than this. (Well, occasionally.) NESN needs to fix this, and then get rolling with NESN II:PapelTV.

He Runs on Grass, He Walks on Dirt. And Water.

The Red Sox swept their two game series against Baltimore with a come-from-behind victory in Camden Yards tonight. The Sox had a 5-2 lead, going into the bottom of the 9th, and Closer Boy ran/walked in from the bullpen to pitch a scoreless inning for the save. Jonathan never gives up runs in April- I don't know why they even bothered to play the bottom of the 9th. It's probably some kind of arcane MLB rule. (Like the "don't give champagne to the Kansas City Royals rule.")

But Papelbon wasn't the big story tonight. (I was just trying to kind of link to my post title, which I am a bit proud of. It may even be "Benjamin-esque." Also, "arcane" is totally a word that Amalie would use. OK. AB Fanboy mode off.)

Josh Beckett was brilliant tonight, pitching eight sterling innings, in which he allowed two runs on eight hits and ZERO walks. He threw 73 of his 100 pitches for strikes. (That trade with the Marlins doesn't look quite so bad right now.) Beckett became only the 4th Sox P to start the season 5-0, joining Babe Ruth, Pedro Martinez, and Matt Young.

The hero on offense was another questionable trade acquisition, Wily Mo Pena. (Note: I was in favor of both the Pena and Beckett trades, and, yes, I have been taunted in an unkind manner in the past as a result.) The bulky CF lugged his sub-.180 batting average to the plate with one out and the bases loaded in the 8th inning against Orioles closer Chris Ray. The Sox trailed at the time, 2-1.

This blogger was yearning for a right-handed pinch-hitter. (Yes, I know WMP IS RH. Bear with me here.) A single would have given the Sox the lead, a sacrifice fly would have tied the game. The worst results would have probably been a strike out or a DP, two of WMP's specialties. But the best RH option off the bench was Doug Mirabelli, who needed to be reserved, in case Varitek was injured, or Wakefield was brought on to pitch the 26th inning. So Francona allowed Pena to bat, and Pena hit a 900 ft. grand slam to give the Sox a 5-2 lead. (And if you believe the HR was 900 ft., you probably also believed that Matt Young stat a paragraph ago. But it was a 420 ft. blast.)

Ray was having trouble getting his off-speed stuff over the plate, tried to throw a fastball past Pena, and Wily Mo made him pay for his insolence. Now, if only Pena could do that to non-fastballs. Then, the Sox would have themselves a player. After that, we could start teaching him to play guitar like Bronson. I would very much like to see WMP perform "C is for Cookie" one day. But the batting and the fielding are the priorities right now.

The Sox play the Yankees in New York this weekend, hoping to replicate their excellence of last weekend against the Yanks. Daisuke Matsuzaka (2-2, 4.00 ERA) will start Friday night, facing Hideki Matsui for the first time in regular season action. As Jerry Remy said, "there should be some media there for that." Matsuzaka will be opposed by Game 1 losing pitcher Andy Pettitte (1-0, 1.78 ERA), who will also be available out of the bullpen in this Sunday's loss to the Sox. The first place Sox currently have a five and a half game lead over the cellar-dwelling Yankees.

Sox Start Season

The Red Sox start their season today in Kansas City against the Royals. Curt Schilling, with a $13 million/yr. contract and a spectacular blog, faces a blog-less $11 million/year Gil Meche. (If I was Gil Meche, I would have a blog in which I reference my contract status every other sentence. But, alas I make a wee bit less than that, so I must content myself with a blog referencing Jonathan Papelbon every other sentence.) The Sox need to take advantage of their early season schedule, and pick up some wins and a lead on the Yankees.

I think the Sox are going to have a great season. I am being totally, 100% objective here. Look at this stacked World Series-quality squad:

C- Tek. Superb defensively. Team leader. And that whole problem with the batting was fixed on Saturday.

1B- Youk. Greek God of OBP.

2B- Dustin Pedroia. God of...the Farm Gnomes? Ok. I got nuthin'. DP should be down on the farm in Pawtucket. Having a glaring hole like this on a team with a collective salary of over a gajillion dollars is bad. The Minions should be scouring the ballfields of the Dominican Republic and/or Liechtenstein, looking to upgrade here. Or at least scouring eBay and PropertyRoom.com.

I think a midseason trade will likely fix this position. It could be worse, though. The Sox could be filling an easier position on the defensive spectrum that should be occupied by a defensively-challenged slugger (for example, 1B) with a offensively-challenged journeyman (for example, Doug Mientkiewicz). Now that would be really bad.

3B- Mike Lowell. As long as he doesn't chew gum while he bats, he'll be very productive.

LF- Manny Ramirez. The Go-To-Guy for RBIs and eBay.

DH- Papi. 60 HR, 130 RBI.

I skipped a few positions because I am not a fan of the RF, CF, and SS. But I could waffle if they produce.

SP: Curt Schilling- 17 wins. Josh Beckett-Blister and WHIP issues are behind him now. Daisuke- Japanese for "Batters can't hit him worth shit." Wake- Knuckleballing Eater of Innings. Julian- English for "Batshit."

Closer: PAPELBON!!!

Jedi. Seller of vehicles. Duck-slaughterer. Fist-pumping batter-slaughterer. Entrepreneur. Did I mention Jedi?

Red Sox Nation's Raison d'Etre. C'est vrai!

Expect 87 saves, sub-.30 ERA, one gajillion brilliant post-game quotes, 3 gajillion post-game "you know's."

The Red Sox project to 99 wins and a spot in the World Series.

Like Baseball Prospectus, my Math is trustworthy.

Go Sox!

The Red Sox Instructional DVD Series

I read on Boston.com today about the release of a DVD geared to the Youth of the (Red Sox) Nation. Narrated by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, the DVD "combines all the great things you love about the team with all the things you want your young fans to learn- numbers, letters, shapes, colors, and more." Now, first off, major points for including Jennifer Garner in this project. I am a big fan of Jennifer Garner's, um, "body of work." But major points are deducted from "Team Baby Entertainment" for also producing a Yankees version (narrated by Yankees owner George Steinbrenner). The last thing we need is more Yankee fans. Even worse, however, is the fact that NO OTHER MAJOR LEAGUE TEAM has their own version. Just the Sox and Yankees. The other teams need not apply, apparently. They all get a generic version, narrated by Al Michaels. So, if you're waiting for the Phillies version, narrated by Harry Kalas (of course), I guess you'll be waiting for awhile. (Well, at least until after they win the 2007 Series, at which point everybody's going be jumping on the bandwagon.)

But, back to the Sox DVD, I see MASSIVE POTENTIAL for profit here. The key is to look at the big picture. I am talking LONG-TERM REVENUE STREAMS. Sure, some bucks are to be made off this particular DVD. But the big bucks are to be made by indoctrinating as many young'ins into RSN as possible. Today's infants will be the ones with the memberships in Kids' Red Sox Nation in a few years. In a few decades, they'll be the ones paying for $100 seats (face value) in the bleachers of W.B. Mason Stadium (the Sox' 90,000 capacity stadium, to be located in Somerville, MA). The keys right now are low cost and accessibility.

My suggestion would be to produce a whole bunch of Sox DVDs, covering a wide variety of Soxian parenting topics, and retail them for $10 each. Now, initially, I thought this series would have different DVDs for each age. But, I've considered the fact that, if the Soxy Mamas and Papas are progressive enough to purchase these DVDs, they can determine at which age level they want to communicate these Soxian principles and ideals to their children. So my vision of this series simply includes different players teaching different topics. So far, I've got:

JULIAN TAVAREZ - The Golden Rule (Do Unto others...)
MANNY RAMIREZ- Playing well with others/Teamwork
KEVIN YOUKILIS- "A walk is as good as a hit."
COCO CRISP- Hair Care
CRAIG BRESLOW - Probability and Statistics
J.D. DREW - Staying Healthy
JULIO LUGO - Maintaining a Healthy Marriage
JASON VARITEK - Leadership and Motivating Others
KATHRYN TAPPEN* - Why Pink Red Sox Apparel is Wrong

(*Note: Kathryn Tappen will be included in any Soxian projects I am affiliated with. You do not need Craig Breslow here to do the Math...)

Now, you may have noticed the conspicuous absence of a DVD featuring Jonathan Papelbon. Well, I am deferring to realism here. Obviously, someone with the business acumen of JP, will see the incredible opportunity here, and market his own set of DVDs. His set will likely include titles such as, "Building your own Lightsaber", and "Killing 4402 Ducks With the Lightsaber You Built Yourself." I know I'll be buying his complete set, and I'll be far from the only one. I'm cool with that. JP and I will each make a gajillion dollars. Which is more than sufficient for me. I'm not greedy.

Papelbon pitches simulated game

Jonathan Papelbon was scheduled to throw a 50 pitch simulated game today. I haven't yet seen any reports on it yet, but I am pretty sure it went something like this:

Jonathan Papelbon enters the Sox clubhouse at 12:30pm. He is wearing a t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and a fishing hat that appears to have several fishing hooks stuck in it. His lightsaber hangs loosely from his waist. He is gripping a tennis ball in his right hand.

Manager Terry Francona is sitting on a bench near Papelbon's locker. He is focused on the screen of his laptop computer.

JP: We doin' the usual simulated game thing, skip?
TF: Yes. We have much to do.

JP sits down on the bench. He hurls the tennis ball at a concrete wall 30 feet away. He does this 3 times, catching the ball in his left hand as it returns.

JP: One down. Couldn't, you know, get around on my heater.
TF: (hasn't looked up, he is watching a clip of Padres SP Clay Hensley) You had good movement on that 2nd fastball.

JP throws the ball 3 more times.

JP: Another out. Did you see that curve I just threw?
TF: (focused on American Idol clip) It was a hanger. It was extra bases if (Simulated) Coco doesn't get such a good jump.
JP: I was, you know, trying to use my fielders.

Manny Ramirez enters the room. He is wearing a bathrobe and flipflops. Red dreadlocks protrude from the back of his 10 gallon hat. He is carrying a plate of baklava, and appears to be dancing ever so slightly, though no music, or musical apparatus, is apparent.

MR: How are you, Jonathan?
JP: Good, man, real good.
TF: (checking stocks) Manny, we need to do some fielding drills today.
MR: Yes, sir. (ambles away, ducking under the path of a JP heater)

JP throws 4 more pitches, retiring the side.

Doug Mirabelli enters the room. He is wearing a My Little Pony apron and a pink chef's hat.

DM: (to all) Lunch is now served. (to TF) Can I take off this damn hat yet?
TF: (watching a clip of The Simple Life) Not until the meal is complete.

JP starts the 2nd inning, getting the 1st out on a weakly hit ground ball.

Dustin Pedroia enters the room. He is in his full uniform, including spikes. Official game time is now 6 hours away.

DP: (to TF) I'm ready, skip.
TF: (watching batting clip of Indians OF Jason Michaels) Excellent.
Mike Lowell (to DP, from across room): Come over here, double play grounder.
DP: (to TF and JP) He calls me that because I catch a lot of double play grounders.
JP: (to DP) Yes, that's exactly why.

DP walks away, he does not need to duck to avoid JP's 2nd offering.

TF: (watching clip of Ozzie Smith doing flips) Way to work the lower part of the strike zone there.

JP continues to throw, retiring the side in order.

TF continues to surf the net- he is now reading Curt Schilling's blog. He furrows his brow and shakes his head gently. Suddenly, he becomes alert, scanning the room.

TF: I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Pitching coach John Farrell approaches.

JF: (to JP and TF) I've been waiting for you guys on the field- when are we getting this thing started?
JP: (to JF) These are not the Sox you are looking for.
JF: I wonder what Dougie made for lunch today. (walks away)

TF sends a MySpace bulletin.

JP starts the 3rd inning by plunking the simulated batter in the right shoulder.

JP: I was, you know, sending a message. I also want to practice doing that pitching thing that you do, you know, when you got guys on base. You know, just in case.
TF: (watching Beanpot highlights) Good thinking.

JP fires an errant pickoff throw. The ball ricochets off J.D Drew's foot. He clutches his left arm and falls in a heap.

TF glances at J.D. J.D. gets up immediately, rubbing the front of his neck.
TF continues filling in his NCAA bracket.

JP gets the 1st out on a force out. Simulated Dustin Pedroia has trouble getting the ball out of his glove and can't complete the twin killing. He glances at TF, gripping the front of his neck and grimacing.

(Simulated runner on 2nd, 1 out.)

Mike Timlin enters the room. He is dressed for hunting.

MT: (to JP) SB, let's get out of here. Eli and Peyton are waiting for us.
JP: (to TF) Can I go, skip, can I?
TF: (scanning the waiver wire of his Yahoo fantasy hockey league) Yes. That is enough for now.
JP: (jumps to his feet, walks towards exit with MT) Those football guys are coming again? They have no aim at all.
MT: Yep. More ducks for us...

Walk Off Sox

The Phillies AND Red Sox both won their games today with walk-off HRs by minor league infielders. I suspect that we will see more walk-off HRs this season from both of the 2007 World Series participants. (I also suspect not too many will be hit by Phillies farmhand 3B Brennan King and Sox minor league SS Ed Rogers, however. At least not at the Major League level.)

I watched the Sox game on NESN HD - the 1st Sox game I have watched in its entirety this year. They did not disappoint.

As a bonus, the Sox were facing the Mets, who are tied with the Yankees for the top spot on my "MLB Teams I Love to Hate" list. (The Braves are 3rd on the list.) The Mets lineup was missing Delgado, Beltran, LoDuca, and Green from their top 8, and Chan Ho Park, competing for a spot at the back of the rotation, was the starting pitcher, followed by Aaron Sele, also competing for a rotation spot. The Sox had, probably, their top 8 starting, with the (possible) exception of Cora starting over Lil' Dustin at 2B. Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield and Jedi Warrior Jonathan Papelbon were the 1st 2 pitchers for the Sox.

Wakefield looked pretty damn good, allowing 0 R, on 4 hits and 1 BB, over 3 innings. One of those hits was a looper to left that Lugo probably should have gotten to. The Sox scored a run on an inning-ending DP in the 1st, and led 1-0 after 3 innings.

Bob Ryan stopped by to chat with Remy and Orsillo for awhile, mostly about the 1967 Sox. He mentioned going to the ticket office to buy tickets a month before the end of that season, and picking up $3 box seats behind the plate for the season finale. Yikes. You can't get a Fenway Frank for $3 these days. But we do get to experience the wonders of the Virtual Waiting Room, while hoping for SRO tickets. Of course, we also have NESN HD. So it's all good. Somewhat good, at least.

W.B. Mason had more irritating commercials touting their same day delivery service in, quite possibly, the most irritating possible way. I do not like W.B. Mason commercials. Their blue pens also kind of suck. And their same day service is only available in "Metro Boston."

But Jordan's Furniture had an intriguing commercial where they promise that any furniture purchased in the next month is free, if the Sox win the World Series. Now the Sox will not be beating the Phillies in the World Series. That's just crazy talk. But maybe Jordan's could offer half off for a Sox Series APPEARANCE. I would be down with that. My couch is looking a lil' shoddy. (Not as shoddy as Tavarez' ERA, though.) Jordan's has really good stuff. I would totally endorse them if an appropriate offer was put on the table. Or if they gave me a new table. Are you listening, Jordan's?

Papelbon came in and was awesome, as usual. 3 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 4 K. His fastballs were in the 92-94 MPH range. Only threw a few non-fastballs, though. As a regular starter, he's going to need to use his curve and his Jedi Mind Tricks more than he did as a closer. Might be good to use them a little more now. When he left after the 6th, the Sox led 5-0.

Starter Boy gave an interview after his appearance- the part most memorable to me was the fact that he said "you know" 78 times when answering about 8 questions. (Yes. I counted the "you knows." I have a responsibility to my reader(s).) He did NOT mention any more ways to make a gajillion dollars.

The Sox took a page from the Phillies' Spring playbook, and utilized a bunch of players with numbers mostly greater than 70 to systematically blow their lead. Brendan Donnelly pitched poorly for the 1st time this spring, despite the fact that his #53 is lower than #70. He got 2 outs, and allowed 4 baserunners (2 H, 2 BB). Hideki Okajima came in with the bases loaded and 2 outs to face Damion Easley. Okaji got 2 strikes on Easley, and then threw a hanging curve that was popped for a game-tying grand slam. Donnelly was charged with 3 of those ER. With an assist from Okajima, Donnelly's ERA is now an unsightly 12.27.

The next 1 and a half innings were fairly uneventful. Don Orsillo, Jerry Remy, and Tina Cervasio mostly talked about the zoo. (For the record, Jerry Remy has transitioned past the time in his life that the zoo was exciting to him, but he is intrigued by the thought of seeing an albino raccoon.) I will cut them some slack, however, seeing as this is Spring Training. Besides their "zoo talk" was somewhat amusing. I really enjoy the Orsillo-Remy team. They are very knowledgeable and have a good rapport. Great to listen to. The only duo I can think of right now that I have enjoyed more than them was the Harry Kalas-Richie Ashburn Phillies combo. I look forward to another season of the Sox on NESN.

Back to the game, the Sox loaded the bases in the 9th off Mets reliever Ambiorix Burgos, best known for blowing saves for Kansas City last season. With one out, Ed Rogers hit the game-winning slam to left. An exciting win for the Sox. I figure that they have another 125 or so ahead of them this year. Go Sox!

There is no emotion; there is peace.

Manny Ramirez reported to Sox Spring Training Camp this morning in what was, quite frankly, a brilliant move. His post-Daisuke arrival afforded him much more media coverage than if he had reported on time.

Even better, he is being lauded in some circles for "reporting early." Well, I guess he was "early." "Early" not as in "before the date the Red Sox required position players to report", but rather "before the (arbitrary) date a random relief pitcher (Julian Tavarez) indicated Manny would show up."

I will be using this technique in the future. The next time I'm given a deadline, I will have a subordinate (preferably one with a history of disciplinary concerns) announce on which post-deadline date I will complete the task. I will then attempt to sell my 2001 Honda Accord, and an autographed photo of myself, for 200K in New Jersey, when I should be working on my task. Then I will report, with my task completed, after my boss' deadline, but prior to the deadline announced by my lackey. My agent will give an interview reminiscent of the highly-informative Rosenhaus-Owens interviews. I will not speak to the media. And the big story will be my new red dreadlocks.

Now that Manny has reported, Schilling has not been given a contract extension, and Daisuke has been in camp for awhile, I'm hoping the drama and hype will die down. A least a little. I'm ready for the next phase of Spring Training. The phase where actual games are played on actual fields involving, for the most part, actual players. I can't wait to see Daisuke mow down Liberal Arts majors from Boston College. (BC SUCKS!) I'll be excited to see Ellsbury hit .450, proving that the Sox' farm system is indeed strong. When Pineiro retires 2 AA roster-filler types and a future COSTCO associate in order to pick up a save, my concerns over the closer postion will be diminished. When Beckett gets bombed, I'll realize that he was "working on some stuff", and take solace in the knee-buckling curve ball he threw on the pitch before he gave up that grand slam. And no matter what Papelbon does, he is still a Jedi. And it's always good to have a Jedi around. Especially in a brawl. Or on a duck hunt.

Duck

Jonathan Papelbon's best recipe for duck, as reported by Boston.com:

Marinate the duck in Coke (yes, you read that correctly) and Italian dressing in a Ziploc bag. (Papelbon said the soda removes the game-y flavor from the duck.) Then slice the duck breast into four pieces. Wrap each of those in bacon, jalapeno peppers, and sour cream. And then, in his words, "throw it all on a grill, and it's amazing."

Soxin' it up

There is action at Red Sox camp. The equipment truck is on the way. Daisuke's plane will be landing at 6:30pm. Jonathan was 1st spotted at 7:55am, threw off the mound today, and his best recipe for duck will be announced later. Devern, Kason, and Craig were spotted. Kyle has changed his number to 39, Jon to 31, and Manny to 17.
J.D. Drew is still not on the 40 Man Roster. (It says his name on there, but there are more than 40 peeps on that there 40 Man Roster.)
I have not yet seen a detailed manifest of the contents of the Sox equipment truck, but I am hopeful it will be available soon.

I don't know how I survived pre-internet. Having so many stats, random stories, and videos just clicks away. (Not to mention the fabulousness that is MLB.TV!)
I remember having to wait for my monthly Baseball Digest fix to come in the mail, with only limited television coverage/info available for out of town teams. This is so much better. I am ready for another season of inhaling baseball. (Yep. INHALING. That is the bon mot for my baseball ways.)

The Flyers play on national television tonight (on Versus at 7pm) against the Red Wings. The Red Wings are coming off a 7 goal, 50 shot domination of Calgary. The Flyers are coming off a 4-3 OT win at home against St. Louis. It was their 1st win at home since NOVEMBER 24TH. Apparently, the key for the Flyers' winning at home is to start their 3rd string goalie, and have him wear his Nashville Predators pads. Hey, whatever works. It's always a special treat when they win a game. But I don't think they'll be winning another one tonight.

The Bruins traded D Brad Stuart and C Wayne Primeau to Calgary for D Andrew Ference and RW Chuck Kobasew. I wonder if the B's could package Ference, Kobasew, and Marco Sturm for that Joe Thornton guy. Probably not. Fuck.
At least BU will win another Beanpot in a few hours...GOALIE! SIEVE! GOALIE! SIEVE! SIEVE! SIEVE! SIEVE!