Champions

The ducks are probably the biggest winners here. The Red Sox winning the World Series is a Significant Triumph. Those Sox fans prescient enough to take advantage of The Monster Deal are enjoying their free furniture. (No free furniture here. Though there is a previously owned mattress up for grabs next to the dumpster out back.) But, after 4402 of their brethren met their doom at the killing hand of a young closer last winter, the ducks can breathe a little easier this time around. While they still have to be wary of the Peregrine Falcon and the Timlin, Jonathan Robert Papelbon will be a bit too busy for duck hunting this offseason.

Papelbon followed up a postseason of scoreless pitching by dancing through the streets of Boston. 'Twas a beautiful thing. The Winter of Papelbon has just begun, however. Next, he'll be jigging his way through the late night TV circuit. There will be the Guitar Hero endorsements. Papelbon at The White House. The Dancing with the Stars appearance with his ultra-talented dance partner, Amalie Benjamin. The series of children's books. (Think Berenstain Bears meets Harry Potter.) No more shilling Barber Chicken for the inimitable Sox closer. He's hit the big time now!

The rest of the 2007 World Champion Red Sox should be be back, and even better, next season. Curt Schilling will probably be my 2nd favorite Phillies blogger (#1), but both Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz are more than serviceable rotation options. Eric Gagne will be "pitching" in the National League, and Royce Clayton will be a Management Trainee at the Taco Bell on Comm. Ave., but they were forgotten Red Sox long before today. Josh Beckett will be pursuing his second consecutive Cy Young Award, with a fully-acclimated Daisuke Matsuzaka as his main competition. There's no way Mike Lowell and Tim Wakefield play for another team next season. Papi and Manny will be back, Manny armed with a prototype batting helmet that can be remotely ejected by Batshit Tavarez. Pedroia. Edes. Youkilis. Benjamin. Ellsbury. The 2007 season has just ended, but I can't wait to see this team next season. Though they will have a lot more difficulty in the 2008 World Series with the Phillies, than they did with the Rockies.

As a Rule 5 blogger, I anticipate spending the first few months of next season posting for the Pawtucket Red Sox. But a midseason callup is not out of the question. When the Red Sox need a northpaw reliever in the playoffs, I'll be ready to put down my drumsticks and set up for Papelbon. When an HBP is needed to win free tacos for all, I'm your guy. I just hope that the internet connectivity issues that have plagued me this past week don't resurface during next season's Red Sox-Phillies Fall Classic. That matchup will require some prolific blogging in these parts. Plus, without internet, I can't instantaneously determine whether the actor in the movie I'm watching was also the roadie in "Rock Star." Who wants to live like that?

The Sox won't play another game for more than four months, but there are many significant personnel decisions to be made in that time. Papelbon will be omnipresent during the offseason, and the Ellsbury Taco Bell commercials will be as ubiquitous as those damn W.B. Mason ads. If you thought Ellsbury was a great ballplayer, wait until you see him in those Taco Bell ads, co-starring with the Official Scorer who didn't rule "defensive indifference." It will be no time at all before the Sox equipment crew is loading up The Truck, and Julian Tavarez is letting the press know when Manny Ramirez will be reporting to Spring Training.

All-Stars

Poor Batshit. He only allows two runs (one earned) in five and two/thirds eventful innings, but picks up a loss for his efforts. Then the Baseball All-Star Selection Committee (BASS) leaves Julian and his 5-6 record (4.39 ERA) off the AL All-Star team. A disappointing day for Boston's favorite 5th starter. If only he could finger-point the Sox' offense to success, as he so ably does with the defense.

The Red Sox will score three runs in a single game again. Someday. But I'm not worried. The Sox have only lost one game this month. Besides, they still have the Good 'ol Binomial Theorem in their corner. Their offense is just too good to do this badly for too long. And a long streak of Soxian wins is just around the corner. Well, as long as Julio Lugo is not allowed on the field in any capacity. He might be a fit as a vendor, though. Just not one who has to throw things or anything. Perhaps they should just pay him the $9 mil./yr. to stay home.

The Jacoby Ellsbury Era has begun. Finally. However, I was surprised that he was given the same number worn by Red Sox immortal Dwayne Hosey. Quite the tough act to follow. Strange that they would put extra pressure on Ellsbury like that. The fleet CF is batting only .125 so far, but he won't be batting under .300 in MLB for long. Once he starts facing a steady diet of lackluster NL pitching, as the starting CF for the Philadelphia Phillies, he'll triple his current BA. At least. It is quite apparent that the reason Ellsbury was brought up to the bigs, is to showcase him for a trade. Expect the Sox to send Ellsbury and Manny Delcarmen to Philly for ALL-STAR CF Aaron Rowand before the week is over. You heard it here first. Don't bother heading over to mlbtraderumors.com or anything. Because I gots the good stuff right here.

The Red Sox were well-represented on the All-Star squad. Beckett. Lowell. Ramirez. Ortiz. Jon Papelbon. JON Papelbon. Not really sure when he stopped going by "Jonathan." Whatever. I just hope if the AL has a save opportunity, they give Jon the ball. And not J. Putz, Bob Jenks, or Frank Rodriguez. The AL team looks pretty good. They could probably use a not-actually-Greek 1B/3B with a .924 OPS, but not bad otherwise.

Hideki Okajima is on the AL Final Vote ballot, going against the likes of Jeremy Bonderman, Kelvin Escobar, and Roy Halladay. And Pat Neshek. I love that Pat Neshek is on the ballot. It is good to see his sensational season hasn't only been noticed by incredibly brilliant fantasy baseball players. (No need to name any of these brilliant fantasy baseball players. One of whom, incidentally, is in 3rd place now, but will be in 1st place shortly.) Neshek and Okajima's brilliance aside, I wonder if one of the SPs would be a better choice, considering that they have pitched quite a few more innings than Okajima and Neshek have. Just trying to be objective here. That said, I'm going to sign up for some more e-mail addresses, so I can get some more votes in for Okajima. Go Sox!