Monday, April 2, 2007

Sox Start Season

The Red Sox start their season today in Kansas City against the Royals. Curt Schilling, with a $13 million/yr. contract and a spectacular blog, faces a blog-less $11 million/year Gil Meche. (If I was Gil Meche, I would have a blog in which I reference my contract status every other sentence. But, alas I make a wee bit less than that, so I must content myself with a blog referencing Jonathan Papelbon every other sentence.) The Sox need to take advantage of their early season schedule, and pick up some wins and a lead on the Yankees.
I think the Sox are going to have a great season. I am being totally, 100% objective here. Look at this stacked World Series-quality squad:

C- Tek. Superb defensively. Team leader. And that whole problem with the batting was fixed on Saturday.

1B- Youk. Greek God of OBP.

2B- Dustin Pedroia. God of...the Farm Gnomes? Ok. I got nuthin'. DP should be down on the farm in Pawtucket. Having a glaring hole like this on a team with a collective salary of over a gajillion dollars is bad. The Minions should be scouring the ballfields of the Dominican Republic and/or Liechtenstein, looking to upgrade here. Or at least scouring eBay and PropertyRoom.com.

I think a midseason trade will likely fix this position. It could be worse, though. The Sox could be filling an easier position on the defensive spectrum that should be occupied by a defensively-challenged slugger (for example, 1B) with a offensively-challenged journeyman (for example, Doug Mientkiewicz). Now that would be really bad.

3B- Mike Lowell. As long as he doesn't chew gum while he bats, he'll be very productive.

LF- Manny Ramirez. The Go-To-Guy for RBIs and eBay.

DH- Papi. 60 HR, 130 RBI.

I skipped a few positions because I am not a fan of the RF, CF, and SS. But I could waffle if they produce.

SP: Curt Schilling- 17 wins. Josh Beckett-Blister and WHIP issues are behind him now. Daisuke- Japanese for "Batters can't hit him worth shit." Wake- Knuckleballing Eater of Innings. Julian- English for "Batshit."

Closer: PAPELBON!!!
Jedi. Seller of vehicles. Duck-slaughterer. Fist-pumping batter-slaughterer. Entrepreneur. Did I mention Jedi?
Red Sox Nation's Raison d'Etre. C'est vrai!
Expect 87 saves, sub-.30 ERA, one gajillion brilliant post-game quotes, 3 gajillion post-game "you know's."

The Red Sox project to 99 wins and a spot in the World Series.
Like Baseball Prospectus, my Math is trustworthy.
Go Sox!

2 comments:

always thinking about papelbon said...

is pedroia a garden gnome, a sea monkey or a chia pet or something? at this point, it's difficult to say.

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