Well, apparently, my protest against the Grammy Awards has subsided a bit. I don't recall watching since they gave Metallica's Grammy to some fucker playing a flute, but I did watch a bit last night. I wasn't all that impressed, but I don't think I expected to be.
I must have nodded off for awhile when Slayer and Tool won their awards, because I don't remember them performing, or their acceptance speeches. I know they won via the internet, and there must have been enough time in a 3 and a half hour show to fit them in, right?
I also missed the performance by Jimmy Sturr and his Orchestra. Must have been distracted at the time. I think I have seen Jimmy in all his Polka Greatness more than once, anyways. I'm pretty sure I saw him like 20 years ago at Polish-American Night at Yankee Stadium, hosted by Yankee knuckleballer Phil Niekro. Also I have vague recollections of seeing him perform at some picnic of some kind long, long, ago in a state far, far, away- I remember playing baseball (3B) there, eating really good hot dogs there, watching the orchestra set up, but the memories are very blurry. It is possible that the actual performance traumatized me. Not sure. But I do know that I am selling my copy of the 8 track tape in that YouTube clip above immediately, to take advantage of Jimmy's Grammy Status!
Profit maximization, baby!
The Police Reunion didn't do much for me. They should have chosen a peppier song, or done some kind of medley, or perhaps interacted with each other on stage (as opposed to playing a strict zone defense). But on the plus side, there was no playing of lutes (that I noticed), and Sting is fucking JACKED! Concert tickets for their Reunion Tour are, allegedly, topping out at $225, or, converted into eBay funds, $1284.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers performance I did like. I think it was the only performance I liked, though the confetti was a bit bothersome. Flea amuses me with his apparel choices and his zany shenanigans on stage, as does Mr. Kiedis.
Also irritating were the Dixie Chicks, who kept on winning fucking awards. And bastardized Nelson's laugh (from The Simpsons), which was the greatest crime of all.
That Mary J. Blige chick thanked 55 people in her speech. Don't they have that hook thing to drag people off stage when the won't shut up? (Or was that only on The Muppets?)
Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennett won an award. I didn't even think they were still around. (Still not quite sure, actually.) Bennett thanked Target in his speech- he should have been hooked away before it came to that.
But it is good to see another Target fan out there. We definitely need to start up a Target cult, to try to steal some market share from TomKat and the Scientologists. I think "Targetians" sounds pretty snappy. I envision someone much more charismatic than myself as the leader/figurehead of this cult/legitimate religion- my role will be more administrative in nature: I'll help with the pamphlets/core beliefs, investment portfolio, and the vacuuming. I'm mostly just interested in the stock options, anyway. That's where the money is.
Some rappish/jazzy peeps also performed/won awards, Fergie looked like shit (but acted like she thought she was the shit), JT performed (performance was OK, but I was not into the part where he was videotaping his performance in real time), and did I mention I don't like those Dixie Bitches?
Anyways, I am now bored of writing about the Grammy Awards. So, here's some vintage Slayer for ya!
The Phillies report for Spring Training in less than 48 hours!!!
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