Ease on down, ease on down the road...

This exciting blog entry could have been about the Bruins and their victory after celebrating Johnny Bucyk's career. I could have drawn a correlation between the Bruins win and the Flyers win on Monday night, after celebrating Keith Primeau's career. Perhaps I would have recommended Blaine Lacher Night? (Or maybe Bruce Hoffort Night?)

There is also the Celtics actually winning a game, the Cubs selling ads on the outfield ivy to pay for Jason Marquis and his 6.02 ERA, and Tim Hardaway's comments.

In Red Sox news, J.D. Drew was finally placed on the 40 Man Roster, at the expense of Lenny DiNardo, and Daisuke Matsuzaka ate breakfast at Denny's.

But after a snowstorm more than doubled my usual one hour morning commute, I feel it is a top priority to address some driving concerns. MY concerns about OTHER PEOPLES' driving.

Now I'll be the 1st one to admit that, when it comes to driving skill, I probably rank in the lower 10th percentile in the 18-49 demographic. (However, I also rank in the top 10th percentile in the 18-49 demographic in the category of punting. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.)

But I just saw some real crazy shit out there. So Rt.128 drivers, please read and observe the following:

• Clean off all of your windows, so that you can see in all directions. Yes, you should be able to see what's going down BEHIND your vehicle. None of that bullshit where you carve two small eyeholes out of the ice on your windshield, either. That just works in ice FISHING. (Not ice DRIVING.)
• Clear off all of your lights and clear off the roof of your vehicle. That snow/ice could make the journey from your roof to your windshield and cover your miniscule eyeholes. (Depending on your speed, it could be a loud and ferocious windshield-damaging journey.) Even more importantly, snow/ice could come off your roof and disturb MY driving. You do not want to mess with me and my ice scraper. I will do a Denis Lemieux demo on you.
• Even though the speed limit may be 65 MPH, you should not be driving that fast if it causes you to slip and slide all over Beverly, Massachusetts. This is not bumper cars. Accidents will cost us all a lot of travel time, if not time on the 30-Day DL. Drive at a speed at which you can control your vehicle, and leave some space for stopping without hitting the vehicle in front of you.
• That lane all the way to the right is NOT the high-speed morning commute lane. It is not a lane you should be driving in at all, actually. Let alone at 80 MPH in the land of ice and snow. The most obvious clue to this is that the lane is, partially, IN THE FOREST! This is not a safe move. It becomes even less safe when you try to rejoin us in the legal driving lanes because you see a state trooper waiting for you. Cutting off a vehicle that is driving 70 MPH in snow/ice, and cannot see you because you are not within the range of their eyeholes, is not a good plan. (Even if they had 360 degree visibility, they wouldn't necessarily expect to be cut off from the right by a vehicle coming out of the middle of the fucking forest!) The inevitable collision would lengthen my commuting time. No one wants that. (See "ice scraper.")

Basically, just clean off your car before driving. Then drive in a careful, thoughtful manner. We don't want any accidents. Think of the young punters. For they are our future.