The Red Sox Instructional DVD Series

I read on Boston.com today about the release of a DVD geared to the Youth of the (Red Sox) Nation. Narrated by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, the DVD "combines all the great things you love about the team with all the things you want your young fans to learn- numbers, letters, shapes, colors, and more." Now, first off, major points for including Jennifer Garner in this project. I am a big fan of Jennifer Garner's, um, "body of work." But major points are deducted from "Team Baby Entertainment" for also producing a Yankees version (narrated by Yankees owner George Steinbrenner). The last thing we need is more Yankee fans. Even worse, however, is the fact that NO OTHER MAJOR LEAGUE TEAM has their own version. Just the Sox and Yankees. The other teams need not apply, apparently. They all get a generic version, narrated by Al Michaels. So, if you're waiting for the Phillies version, narrated by Harry Kalas (of course), I guess you'll be waiting for awhile. (Well, at least until after they win the 2007 Series, at which point everybody's going be jumping on the bandwagon.)

But, back to the Sox DVD, I see MASSIVE POTENTIAL for profit here. The key is to look at the big picture. I am talking LONG-TERM REVENUE STREAMS. Sure, some bucks are to be made off this particular DVD. But the big bucks are to be made by indoctrinating as many young'ins into RSN as possible. Today's infants will be the ones with the memberships in Kids' Red Sox Nation in a few years. In a few decades, they'll be the ones paying for $100 seats (face value) in the bleachers of W.B. Mason Stadium (the Sox' 90,000 capacity stadium, to be located in Somerville, MA). The keys right now are low cost and accessibility.

My suggestion would be to produce a whole bunch of Sox DVDs, covering a wide variety of Soxian parenting topics, and retail them for $10 each. Now, initially, I thought this series would have different DVDs for each age. But, I've considered the fact that, if the Soxy Mamas and Papas are progressive enough to purchase these DVDs, they can determine at which age level they want to communicate these Soxian principles and ideals to their children. So my vision of this series simply includes different players teaching different topics. So far, I've got:

JULIAN TAVAREZ - The Golden Rule (Do Unto others...)
MANNY RAMIREZ- Playing well with others/Teamwork
KEVIN YOUKILIS- "A walk is as good as a hit."
COCO CRISP- Hair Care
CRAIG BRESLOW - Probability and Statistics
J.D. DREW - Staying Healthy
JULIO LUGO - Maintaining a Healthy Marriage
JASON VARITEK - Leadership and Motivating Others
KATHRYN TAPPEN* - Why Pink Red Sox Apparel is Wrong

(*Note: Kathryn Tappen will be included in any Soxian projects I am affiliated with. You do not need Craig Breslow here to do the Math...)

Now, you may have noticed the conspicuous absence of a DVD featuring Jonathan Papelbon. Well, I am deferring to realism here. Obviously, someone with the business acumen of JP, will see the incredible opportunity here, and market his own set of DVDs. His set will likely include titles such as, "Building your own Lightsaber", and "Killing 4402 Ducks With the Lightsaber You Built Yourself." I know I'll be buying his complete set, and I'll be far from the only one. I'm cool with that. JP and I will each make a gajillion dollars. Which is more than sufficient for me. I'm not greedy.