Win one-of-a-kind ticket and merchandise prizes!

The new Red Sox $10 scratch ticket will go on sale Tuesday, March 20th at the Lottery's 7500 licensed retailers in MA. It was unclear at press time whether either of my suggested names for the ticket- "Lucky Dice-K" and "Papelbones"- was selected. In addition to cash prizes, there is also the possibility of winning (Roof Deck, Monster seats, Pavilion, Grandstand, Suites) tickets for individual games. There is even the top prize of an entire DECADE of Red Sox-Yankees tickets!

There is also the chance you could win "official team merchandise that is unique to the $10 Red Sox Instant Ticket and cannot be purchased or found elsewhere." This merchandise includes David Ortiz' 1st base glove, Dustin Pedroia's bat, Theo Epstein's gorilla suit, and Manny Ramirez' "dread bag." You can also send in losing $10 Red Sox Instant Tickets for the opportunity to win 1 of 4402 duck carcasses, made available by Starter Boy himself!

So, on the plus side there is the chance to win fabulous and exciting Red Sox prizes and/or cash money. On the minus side, the lottery is a voluntary regressive tax on the poor and the mathematically inept. Probabilistically speaking, if you play the lottery, you are, in fact, a
bonehead. Which reminds me, I guess I didn't win that Rudy Seanez autographed baseball for sending in those losing $10 Red Sox Instant Tickets last year. Curses.